Here's a truth you need to know: Not all confidence is created equal.

We all want it... Confidence. It’s what we truly desire for our athlete daughters, not only on the court/field, but in life. 

The confidence to play to potential. To bounce back from mistakes. To play with tenacity. To perform consistently. 

But, not all confidence is created equal and not all confidence gives the results we desire.

In my 10 years of coaching female athletes, I’ve seen a difference in the type of confidence that players exude on and off the court. 

Simply put, it’s either:

Fake vs Real
Superficial vs Deep
Fleeting vs Lasting

So, how do we know which type of confidence that our female athletes are cultivating? And how do we ensure that they are working towards real, deep and lasting confidence? 

As a mom of a female athlete, here’s what you need to know…

Fake vs #RealConfidence: Spotting the Difference

There are a few tell-tale signs of confidence that won’t last. “Candy” confidence that feels really good in the moment, but doesn’t last long includes...

1. Confidence based on outcomes

When athletes rely on their performance and the outcome of matches to determine their confidence, they will always be on a roller coaster. 

We'll talk about turning this into real confidence by athletes setting and monitoring progress based on process goals vs outcome goals. 

2. Confidence that is reliant on praise

This one is tough! We want to praise our athletes and make them feel good. However, if athletes are relying on praise and external validation to build their internal confidence, they will always be at the mercy of other people rather than themselves. 

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t recognize your athlete’s accomplishments. 

Turn this into real confidence by recognizing and pointing out things that are in your athlete’s control: Attitude, effort, preparation, and behavior. 

We'll talk a lot more about this in the episode!

3. “Fake it ‘till you make it” confidence

We’ve all heard the phrase… “fake it ‘till you make it!” It sounds good, and that it actually might work. Not feeling confident? Just fake it and eventually it will come! It might work in the moment, but at its core, this principle cannot help athletes develop true, lasting confidence. 

We can’t fake...

-Proper preparation
-Intentional self-talk 
-The ability to come back from mistakes (if we don’t have the skills to do so)

All things athletes need in order to have real, authentic confidence on the court/field and in life. 

We'll chat all about this.

There you have it. Fake vs Real Confidence...how to spot the difference and cultivate deep, lasting, and true confidence from the inside out. 

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