All right, moms, picture this. It's August, two weeks before tryouts for the new season that your daughter is trying out for. She's been training all summer. Physically, she's in shape. She's ready to go. And then the week before tryouts, she just starts spiraling. Like, she can't sleep, she's snapping at you, she's convinced she's gonna choke and get cut. Now, she's worked hard all summer, but her brain is the thing that is holding her back in this moment, that is causing her to panic and spiral, and to be kind of in this uneasy place before she tries out Now here's what I want you to know. This moment is not inevitable. It's actually really preventable, and summer, right now, is the exact time to do something about it so that your daughter heads into her next season, into tryouts, feeling stronger physically, because she's been putting in the work, but also stronger mentally. Now, if I haven't met you, I'm Coach Bre. I'm a 14-year head volleyball coach, but I'm also a mental performance coach for girl athletes and the co-founder of The Elite Competitor. And we're gonna talk today about what the best athletes are doing this summer so that they walk into their next season strong mentally, and obviously physically, because they've been working. And in fact, I'm gonna tell you exactly what the athletes inside our mental training program are doing this summer, and what their parents are doing this summer, to ensure that this happens. So let's get into it. Number one, the first thing that, though, that I wanna talk about, like right off the bat, is that summer should include rest and fun for your athlete. Like, rest is part of the training, and athletes who go into their fall seasons strongest aren't necessarily the ones that spent every hour of every minute of every day grinding themselves into the ground. Like, there's actually something to be said about coming back into your season refreshed and feeling like, "Oh, I actually miss this sport." I remember the days, like, I know I sound old when I say that, but I do remember the days where it was like, "Oh, I'm so excited to get back to volleyball because, like, I haven't been doing this." Like, we would do stuff in the summer, but you know, there's like that excitement, and that, that means something because it's a long season once you get into, like, the bulk of the high school season or middle school season, whatever your daughter's going into. So a healthy summer really does have this balance of staying active and doing the things that she needs to do with her team, and especially though if she has goals to, like, make varsity or be a leader or play in college and this is an important season. She can't just n- like, not do things over the summer. So she has to be training and putting in the work. Um, some downtime, like vacations, camps, things like that that are fun, and then also intentionally sprinkling in mental training. Because the thing about it is that most athletes in, as you're, you know, witnessing this with your daughter, when they complain about what happened last season and they say things like, "You know, it wasn't, it wasn't a great season because..." And I hear this a lot as a coach. It's not necessarily anything to do with physical training or physical talent. It's things like, "Well, you know, we had drama on our team," or like, "In that big game, we ended up losing even though we could have won and we could have gone in, but we just missed it." Like, things like that, all the things that I hear, I'm like, "Okay, well, that's actually not a physical training problem." That's a mental training program, problem. And what I hear from athletes a lot is that, you know, I'm like, "Well, what are you gonna do about that so that it doesn't happen again next season?" And they don't have a plan. They're like, "I just hope it doesn't happen." They just in our, in their minds think, like, "Well, when I get in that situation again, it'll be different. When we play that team again, it's gonna, you know, it's gonna be us that wins." Just because, you know? Like, they don't really have a plan. They just think like, oh, well, it'll, it, it'll somehow be different because of some reason, and that's the problem, is that they get back into their seasons and then the cycle just sort of repeats itself because they haven't trained the mental skills to be able to handle teammate drama in a different way, or challenging coaches, or pressure that comes with big games, or not spiraling after mistakes. And the other issue that's layered on here is that now she's another, like, season deep, meaning she's probably leveled up a little bit. So if she was on JV, maybe she's on varsity now. Maybe she has a bigger role on varsity, so the pressure is just getting more and more, and she doesn't have the mental skills to be able to support the new role that she's walking into. So that's kind of what's happening, and what I see all the time as a coach in the many different aspects of, of coaching that I get to be a part of. Now, here's what athletes should be doing this, uh, this summer, and I'm gonna frame this as, like, this is what the athletes in our mental training program, the Elite Mental Game, are doing right now this summer. This is what we're working on them with. Number one, this summer they're training the thing that most athletes ignore. Most athletes ignore their mental game, but the best are not. Like, the best are actually doing small things to make sure that their mental game is strong over the summer. I tell athletes all the time that all, all of your teammates and opponents are training physically this summer. Like, that doesn't set your- y- yourself apart. That actually makes you just normal. And so if you actually wanna give yourself a competitive edge, you have to train the thing that most aren't training. So one of the main skills that athletes are training over the summer is something called their snapback routine. And if you have been around our world for any amount of time, I'm sure you've heard of the snapback routine. This is basically a failure recovery system. Because one of the premier skills that separates average athletes from great athletes is how long it takes them to get back to the present moment after something doesn't go their way. So after a mistake, a bad call, something that happens that, you know, just as it does in athletics, does it derail them for a period of time afterwards, or can they get back in the present moment quickly? And summer is the perfect time for athletes to really develop a skill like the snapback routine, because it's a lower stakes situation. They are still training, but they are not, like, in championship moments where it matters. And so we have to build this skill just like any other skill so that it can be able... Like, they can use it when it matters. And so the snapback routine, what we teach athletes, is a combination of a breath, a reset word at the top of that breath, and then on the exhale, they're doing some sort of reset signal. And this is all custom to them. It takes, like, two seconds or less. And like I said, they're developing this in the summer so that they can practice it so that it's useful for them in tryouts and in the bigger games Um, in their season when things like this happen. And I tell athletes all the time this, this is kind of a side story, but, I mean, it, it's just, it's a great one, and it gets them totally bought into the fact that like, "Oh, I need a snapback routine." Um, when I was coaching one of... our last state championship, so in 2024, um, we get into this championship match, and we've won four consecutive state championships. Just know that. So at the time, we were coming off of our third, and, but this season we weren't really like the team to beat, honestly. Like, we weren't slated to win state. We weren't the number one seed. We weren't even undefeated. But we were having a pretty good season regardless, and we made it to this championship game against this other team who was the number one seed, and they were undefeated. And looking across the net, you know, we've got 6'1" going to Gonzaga, 6'0", 6'2" going to Oregon. Like, really good when you look o- on the other side of the net. And the optics were like, okay. Like that, we, we weren't that. You know, we had, we had great players, but, you know, we just didn't, we just didn't have that. Um, so we get into this match, which we were like so, I mean, ecstatic to be a part of in the first place. And in volleyball, you have to win three out of five sets to win the match. And so we get in this situation where we had won the first set, lost the next two, and then the other team was up in the next set, and they had championship point, meaning they were serving. They had 24 points. We had 23, so they just needed one more point to win, and they were gonna win that set. So that would be three out of five, and win state. And this team hadn't won state in 36 years. So, I mean, any state championship is, is phenomenal and really exciting, but this was like, like, really deeply impactful to the community. And so, um, all their, their, uh, fans were on their feet. And all I remember in that moment was, okay, we're gonna call... I have a timeout, so I called a timeout, and I got everyone together. And I could have gone into, like, all the tactics and the strategies of where this person was probably gonna serve, although I probably did say that. Um, you know, who they were gonna set. Like, all, all of this stuff to kinda overwhelm them, and I didn't. All I did was say, "Okay." We're all gonna do our snap back routine together. So the snap back routine was something that we had trained in the summer as a team. We had trained it, you know, all falls, that whole season leading up. It wasn't like we were pulling this out first time in a pressure situation, okay? But I was reminding them of the skills that they had to help them be present in that moment. So we took a breath to regulate their nervous system, right? To kinda calm them in that moment. They said their reset words to themselves, which are custom to them. It's a word that evokes a really strong emotion of how they wanna feel in that moment. And then on the exhale, they're doing s- their, their signal. And that put them back in the present moment. And then I could clearly communicate, like, "Okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna do, you know, we're gonna side out, win this point, and then go back to serve for the next." Okay? So they go out, and that's actually what happened. They, we, we, we sided out, we got the points, now we tied it up. It was 24 all. Um, long story, lo- hopefully not much longer, my sophomore goes back to serve. And the sophomore hadn't ever been on varsity. She hadn't been a part of a state championship or a s- a, you know, out-of-state tournament even, um, her whole career. And so she was back there. She had the ball now. She, like all the pressure was on her. She was looking pretty good. Though, uh, she had two points that, that we needed to win for our team to stay alive and go to a fifth set. So she serves the ball. The other ti- the other side of the net, they set their best hitter, as I would too. And this hitter goes up, and she hits the ball out of bounds. So we call that an unforced error, right? Like it wasn't, she just, she just did that, which was, um, kind of indicative of the moment, right? This was a big moment, and that was uncharacteristic, uh, uncharacteristic, um, move for her. And so that gave us a point. So we're serving again. Now we just need one point to stay alive and win this set. My sophomore serves again. Um, they had a botched play kind of on the other side of the net. They send up a free ball, which is an easy ball, into the net, giving us the next point. So a- another unforced error. We, like, we won that set. We thought we had, you know, won state. We were so excited, but we had a, a fifth set to play to stay alive. And by that point, the momentum had swung so far in our direction, and we ended up winning the fifth set, winning state, for our fourth state championship. And it was kind of the biggest, um, displays of what it looks like when you have a team who has athletes who have trained for moments like that and a team that hadn't really trained for a moment like that. Like, they had their, their wind taken out of their sails and didn't really know how to respond. And, you know, leading up to that point, as I'm training the snap back routine with the girls and, you know, they, they're practicing it, you wonder, like, "Is this going to pay off you know, for spending a little bit of time working on this mental skill?" And it's not until your daughter gets in these pressure situations that you see this is where it pays off. And the cool part is that that sophomore was interviewed afterwards, and the interviewer asked her, like, "Well, what were you thinking?" And she goes, "Uh, all I was doing was my breath and my reset word, my breath and my reset word." So I was like, "Okay, there it is." And that's the thing, is that we don't rise to the challenge of whatever we're facing. Same thing with your daughter. In those pressure situations and those moments, she doesn't really rise to that. She actually just falls to whatever she's trained. And so if she hasn't trained this, then she won't be able to access it. So that's why the best athletes over the summer are developing skills like that on the mental side of the game, so that they can come back from mistakes, they can deal with pressure, things like that, okay? All right. That's, um, number one, the number one thing that athletes are doing differently this summer, so they're walking into tryouts and their next season strong, is they're training the mental game, okay? Um, number two, building a pre-performance routine. Uh, this is key. This is another, like, mental skill, but it's allowing them to have consistency in how they show up because they've built a routine to prepare themselves. And summer is the time to experiment with this. So we teach athletes, like, have your one to two things that you do the same, the same time, the same, uh, way every single time before you compete. And it can be simple. It could be, like, certain song or visualization, certain, like, warm-up thing that you do. Find what works for you. And even just practicing this for, like, five minutes before an open gym or, like, a, a showcase or something this summer can help build that routine. Because what happens a lot is that athletes get nervous, which is normal, but they think that those nerves mean that something's wrong with them, and then they end up playing worse. And if we can't, if we don't redirect those nerves, we don't have a way to label them, a way to experience what the feeling is and, um, know if this is a healthy amount of nerves. We teach athletes, like, on a scale of one to 10, you've gotta find what your hype number is. Because we don't wanna get rid of nerves. We need a little bit of that adrenaline. But if we have too much, then we've gotta have a way to come back down. And if we don't have enough, depending on where we need to be as an athlete before we compete, then we've gotta have routines to get us to where we need to be. So building a pre-performance routine for athletes is, like- So important. So that's another thing that we're working with athletes inside our mental training program, is what does your routine look like? Let's, let's trial and error. Like, what song do you listen to? What visualization are you going to do? Like, what little footwork thing? Like, what's your hype number? All of those things are gonna help them actually just at tryouts, too, especially if your athlete gets a little bit nervous at tryouts. So that is skill number two. Skill number one, the best athletes over the summer are training the thing that other athletes ignore, which is the mental game. Number two, they're building pre-performance routines so that they are more consistent in how they play. Number three, this one, this one's big. Um, and it's kind of, it can seem nebulous, but it's something that's really important, and that is building the identity of who your daughter wants to be next season before the season starts Okay? Now, this is really important because, uh, what we say all the time in our program is that your daughter's belief about herself sets the ceiling. Okay? Her talent sets the floor. You know, her hard work can help impact that too. But her b- she'll never outperform her belief about herself. And so she is training hard and doing all the things, but doesn't believe she can make varsity, doesn't, doesn't think that that's something that, you know, deep down to her core, she might say, "I can make varsity," but she doesn't actually believe it, she won't actually do it. Um, so that will always be, that will always be her ceiling. We have to train the image of what she wants to be before she gets into her next season. Because a lot of athletes, what they'll do is they'll just let the season kind of determine how things go for them. They will walk in and they'll be like, "Okay, well, you know, I made this team, and th- uh, this is how it's gonna go." And then all of a sudden she's not actually choosing what she wants, and it's just kind of she's just accepting what is coming at her. Now, acceptance, we can talk about. That's a little bit of a different thing. Sometimes that can be good. But the best athletes are building a vision, building an identity of who they wanna be in the next season right now, so that in the summer they're actually working towards that. Because our brains are so powerful, when we can create an image of what we want to see out in the future, our future selves, our brain actually then goes to work to create that image to be true by impacting her habits, her work this summer. Like, all of these things are going to trickle down based on her identity that she is building for herself. And so that's actually the first thing that I'm doing with athletes inside our mental training program this summer, 'cause that's gonna set the tone for the whole summer. It's gonna be like, okay, what are we working towards next season? And we're gonna backtrack that to your habits this summer. Okay? So the thing that your daughter definitely needs to do is making sure that she has a really clear image of who that is. What does it, what does that athlete look like when she's walking onto the court, um, or the field? What position? And, now, we wanna hold some of this loosely because, um, we can't always determine what position she's going to play or what team she's going to make. But I tell athletes, like, create the best case scenario for yourself, right? Like, see how you move on the court. See how you compete. What does it look like for you to be a leader? Like, visualize that player and become her before you even ever get in that situation. Okay? It's very true, right? See it to believe it. The belief has to come first. Okay? So that is what the best athletes are doing. Now, I do wanna tell you a little bit about what the best parents are doing this summer too. Uh, that, that might sound a little facetious, like the best parents are doing this. But there are some things, like uh, having been in this world for so long, like there, there's ways you can get this wrong, so let's go over that too. But first, a little recap. The best athletes are training the thing that most athletes ignore, which is the mental game. Okay? Including, like a snapback routine so that they can deal with pressure moments before they get into them. Number two, they have a pre-performance routine that they're developing this summer so it's ready to go for tryouts and for their season. And number three, they are building the vision and the identity of the athlete that they wanna be next season right now, at the beginning of the summer, so that they can be working towards that. 'Cause she will never outperform her belief about herself. Okay, a qu- uh, just a few quick hits of like what you can do. But I guess before I get even into that, if you want your daughter to develop these things with me and with, um, the other athletes who are doing that this summer, um, our program, The Elite Mental Game, is where you go for that. So I'll link below, um, our program, and we have a 50% discount happening right now for the summer if you use the word co- or use the code SUNSHINE at checkout. So the link for that will be below. But also, if you wanna just learn more about our approach and about the program, you can head to our free training, that's at trainhergame.com. So that'll give you a really good overview of like what our approach to mental training is, and you'll learn about our program, okay? All right. Moms, dads, now, I think, like this summer, have a, have that conversation with, have like a pre-season conversation with her now. Like do it in a low-pressure situation, maybe when you're driving, just looking both forward. Sometimes that helps. But ask her, like help her explore, "What do you want this season to look like? What do you want this season to be, um, that's different than last season? What would make it a success for you?" And then just listen. Like, don't add in your things that you want for her. Uh, and here's the thing. A lot of, a lot of times athletes haven't been asked this before. They haven't, they, they just kinda go along. They do have thoughts and so, um, it might be hard to get it out of them at times. That's why in like low-pressure situation, just be like, "Hey, you know, I was just thinking about this. I'm curious, like, you're heading into your junior season and, like, what would this, what would success look like for this season?" Okay? And just help her explore that a little bit. And then that can lead really well into your number two move, which is to give her ownership of this experience. And- The athletes who perform their best under pressure and, you know, are making changes in the next season do so because they feel like the season is theirs, not their parents, not their coaches. And this is just something that, you know, i- is so innate to the teen and tween experience is that they want to have autonomy. And so pull back on directing. Like, you can be like, "Okay. Well, what would that... What's gonna, what's gonna happen this summer? What is this training going to look like this summer so that you can get those goals that you've talked about?" And, um, help her develop a plan. Help her know, like, okay, these are the opportunities that you have with your team. This is the mental training opportunity that you can have because if you're saying you wanna make varsity, you wanna be a leader, you wanna play in college, like the best athletes don't, don't just train their physical game. Um, so provide her the opportunities and, um, the structure, but ultimately what she decides to do, uh, it's best if it's directed by her. So co-create that with her this summer. And then number three, um, she picks up on a lot of what you say, do, your vibes, okay? So I'm specifically talking about like anxiety about tryouts, teams, you know, all of those things. Like, if you're feeling the feels about it and you want her to make a certain team and you want this experience to be what, what it is for you, like I get that. But let's find an outlet, outlet for your own tryout anxiety that isn't her. So a friend, a journal, a partner. Listen to the podcast, okay? Um, and so you create... We always say like a parent's role is to shape the environment and create the opportunities, so create the opportunities for her to train this summer mentally and physically. Shape the environment by just how you're showing up, um, as a supportive, steady, strong sports parent for her, not projecting your anxiety and your nerves onto her. Okay. I hope this is helpful just to kind of think about what your summer's gonna look like and sprinkling in the mental training that is going to support her goals this season I think is, um, an underrated, underutilized skill because it's one of the ones that also will go beyond her sport, right? It'll go into her academics, her belief about herself, her confidence. Like, all of that, all of those skills that she is carrying with her through all parts of her life. So if you wanna get started on how to do this, trainhergame.com. Our free training is a great place to start. I'll also link, um, our program, our mental training program for girl athletes and the parents that support them, The Elite Mental Game. That's below. We have a 50% discount happening right now when you use the word SUNSHINE at checkout. All right, moms. I will see you in the next episode of the Raising Elite Competitors podcast.