All right, moms, I want you to meet a fellow sports mom named Heather. And more importantly, I want you to hear about her daughter Isla. So Isla is 11, she plays tennis, and Heather noticed something when the competition would get harder, as it does in most sports. She would notice a shift in how Isla would show up and compete. She wasn't really playing like herself. Heather said that she would kind of shrink out there. And if you've ever watched your daughter do that, you know exactly how helpless that can feel. Well, Heather found our mental training program, called The Elite Mental Game. It is our mental training program for girl athletes. She got Isla on board. And yes, we talk about how that conversation went. It's not as hard as you might think it is to introduce something like this to your athlete, and also what happened over the next few months of Isla doing our program. And it just got really, really good, so I want you to hear from, uh, Heather herself. But Isla went from shrinking to playing free against a girl that was two years older than her. She started doing visualizations before matches on her own. She came home one day and told Heather that the program was working, and she actually wanted to do it again. So, uh, here's the part that I love the most. Heather actually went through our parent side of the program as well, and she learned something that she had no idea was happening from the bleachers. So her daughter actually had some opinions about how Heather was showing up on the sideline for her. So the whole conversation is just good. I know you're gonna resonate with it. So grab your coffee, let's go. I can't wait for you to hear from Heather. All right, Heather, welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here. I am so happy to be here. Yeah. Thank you for asking me to join you. Yeah. I'm pumped for this. Um, I would love for everyone listening to know just a little bit about you. So can you let us know, um, what sports your daughter plays, who she is, how old she is? All those good things so we can kind of set the stage here. Perfect. My name is Heather, as you stated. My daughter is Isla. She is 11 years old. She is in fifth grade, and she participates in basketball, um, and tennis, but tennis is by far her number one, um, sport that, uh, she loves to, loves to do, so. Yeah, okay. So yeah, Isla, I love that she's on the younger end of kind of, you know, the athletes that we have in the program. And we talk a lot about how the athletes that are on this younger end, like 11, 12, being able to learn these skills now, uh, like even before they get into the thick of, like high school and things like that, is just setting them up really well for, um, not just a competitive advantage, but I mean, for us as parents, to be like,"Okay, yes, they, they will be able to weather the storms that come with their sport." And so, um, okay, I am curious, can you take us back to, like before you joined The Elite Competitor, or be- the Elite Mental Game, um, what was going on? Like, what were you noticing in Isla? Why did you guys decide to kind of seek this out? Yes. Um, so Isla, she's fortunate she has a brother who plays tennis, so she started a little bit earlier. And, um- She got in earlier to playing, like, yellow ball, and she had success. And then we started to notice when she started to play a little bit of more competitive, higher games, she would somewhat just crumble on the court. Um, she would just... I, I call it like she w- I would see her, like, just shrinking. Um, not doing the things that we know she could do, and just, like, crumbling a little bit, and it just broke my heart. So, um, like I said, she has an older brother. They're both very different. And I... Then I somehow found Elite Competitor, and it was just, like, spoke to me. I'm, you know, being a girl, um, not only just with sports but in life, being able to like overcome those obstacles and push through, it just, just spoke to me. So that's, um, what we noticed first, um, and was just trying to figure out, uh, what we could do to help Isla. Yeah. Okay. Um, well, I'm glad we came into your world also. It's so funny how sometimes it just happens where you're like,"Oh, okay, and here, this is what I was looking for. This is great." Yeah. Okay. So yeah. So as a mom, you were like,"All right. I can get on board with this," and I love that too, like, you know, women encouraging women and having girls have, like... I just think representation matters too, so, um, I love that you said that. Uh, and so you decided that you were gonna hop in. Um, this is the route that you were going to take. A lot of parents are like,"How do I talk to my daughter about this?"'Cause, you know, moms come in and they're like,"Yes, yes, this is exactly what we need," and then they're like,"Okay, now I'm going to present this opportunity to my 11-year-old, my 12-year-old, or my 16-year-old." So how did that go for all of you in your household? Um, that's a really good point. I didn't know how she would take it. Yeah. You had sent, I think, that information about how to approach, um, speaking to your daughter. Yeah. And, um, I had just said,'cause I didn't wanna frame it that she was doing anything wrong. Exactly. Um, I framed it in a way of,"There is this program where it's all girls, um, and they want to really work on self-promoting, feeling good." And she, she was a little bit hesitant at first. Um- Mm-hmm but I think the thing that really helped was that first initial call. Um, she plays an individual sport, tennis. Yeah. And sometimes it's easier for her to, like, be shy, so I think she was nervous about being on the call. There'll be other people, but hearing girls ask questions, talk about, like, struggles maybe that they had, um, just I think really brought the program to the forefront, and she was just like,"Oh my gosh, there's other girls doing this, other girls who have, like, feel this." So it, it connected in a way in a really, um- I mean, she just flourished. She loved it. She wanted to continue to do it, and she even said, she's like,"I wanna do it again." I was like,"We can keep going through it." You know what I mean? To, to keep- Right it on the forefront of your mind. So, um, that was the way I presented to, it to her. Again, she was a little hesitant, but once we got on that first call she just loved it and took off. Yeah. Okay, love that. Um, and that's We have that kind of intentionally designed too so that athletes can see. Like this isn't, there's nothing wrong with you. In fact, we frame it- Mm-hmm. um, on that first call as, this is your competitive advantage. Like, this is, you know, what you do if you wanna be good at your sport. Um, so they see it less as like,"Oh, does my mom think something's wrong with me?" It's, no. Like, this is actually what will make y- it's like your secret sauce is what we call it. So. Yes, yes. Yeah. Love that. Okay. So she was in. She's like,"All right. Cool. Sounds good. I'm gonna start the training." So we've got like the, um, the portion that she's doing online. She's coming to the live calls, things like that. So what did you start to notice, um, initially in Ila? Mo- any, any changes, any, any things that you started to notice? Um, she definitely She's like a very black and white girl. Mm-hmm. So it helped when it, it, w- we started going through like the snap back, creating your snap back, and she was just like,"I need to do it." So noticing it on the court, like her like turning around, taking her like breaths. I couldn't see her say her word, and she had a very like subtle, um, action that she did when she would do it. She actually put forth and did it. Um, so those are the things that I saw on the court, like actually like intentionally breathing, taking that time. Um, and the other thing that she told me she loved and she still does is, um, her pre-game like warm up, post-game warm up, and then the visualization. She just like She did it today. She's playing tennis today. So, um, she just, I mean, just loves that there's a routine, there's a way to work through it. Um, she just is really like loves that prep work, that routine. So those are the first things. We've done a lot of tennis tournaments, um, this spring, and I have to tell you, it's She has had so much success with it, and I, I can't thank you enough for like for I don't know how we found you, but it has helped her tremendously. So we, we look forward to continuing to use it, to talk about it, to implement it all throughout. So. Yeah. Oh, thank you for saying that. Mm-hmm. It actually segues into, I mean, because Ila actually, uh, submitted a win to our champions board. And so I wanted to read it'cause it, it- Okay. highlights just what you were saying. So she said recently,"I'm a champion because I keep fighting, even when times are rough. Recently I went to a tennis tournament. I was playing 14.U." And I was nervous because I'm 11. I rose above my nerves. I did some visualizations before my match, and it helped amazingly. I saw myself playing and having fun. I went on to win three matches, and ended up playing a 13-year-old. Like I said, I was nervous, but I just went out there to, and played free and aggressive, and won. So that is so cool. So can you talk about, do you remember this day or what- Yeah yeah, yeah. Can you talk a little bit about that? Yes. So, um, she was going up against, it was the, the finals in this tournament, and it was an older girl. And Isla didn't really know much about her, and she, but she knew she was l- a left-handed tennis player. And, um, she was aggressive, and sometimes Isla has a tendency to not be aggressive. Um, but I remember just my husband and I watching her, and it was like she was just playing free. It was remarkable. Like, um, to see her play with this girl and continue to fight,'cause she got down in the first set. She came back and won the first set, and then she just won the second set as well. So she just didn't give up. Mm-hmm. She was free, and it was just, uh, it was great. Not to say that there haven't been other matches where they haven't gone as good, but- Yeah it also is, like, an up and down. We, we gotta talk through it. What can we do better? And, and most importantly, I love all the opportunities, the phrases you give before a match, after a match- Mm-hmm because we're just trying to, we want her to continue to love what she's doing, not- Mm-hmm put pressure on herself. Um, that, knowing that will come, but just helping be better before, but then also if maybe she didn't have her best match or, you know, things don't go the way that she thought they would. So- Mm-hmm so we appreciate that. It's been, it's been remarkable, so. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you said that because it isn't always sunshine and rainbows, and- Yeah we know that. But having the tools to be able to s- both, as a parent, support the tougher times and then, as the athlete, be able to reframe it and not take on, you know, the bad performance or the loss as their identity and- Mm-hmm stick with feeling about themselves, um, because that can get into a trick- Especially because Isla's so young, and she started so young, and she is having success at a young age, like, that can, we talk about this on the parent side, like, become a lot of their identity as, like,"I am the good tennis player." And then if- Yeah something starts to falter along the way, which as it will, as she gets, you know, she goes against higher competition, and, you know, her body changes, like, all these things that we see. Yes. You know? We don't want them to think like,"Oh, now, like, what are people gonna think of me?" And all of that, so. And I think a, a great thing that I learned in the training and that my husband and I talk about with them is like- Her effort, right? Mm-hmm. It's not the win, it's the effort. Like, I'm not at tennis, my husband is today with them. Um, but she was playing doubles and they were down 7-2, um, in a played eight game pro set, and her and her partner came all the way back and just won. Oh, wow. And I texted her and I was like,"You have, you have to be so proud of your effort and your fight." And she was like,"Yes." Just trying to instill that, that effort. It's not necessarily, you know, you might not have the best outcome, you might not have the outcome you want, but did you try? Did, you know, how just trying to let her see that and feel that is something that we're trying to instill in her as well. Yeah. Yes, that is so good because she can replicate that effort. She can't always replicate that outcome. Yeah. But yeah. But when effort like that shows up and she's like,"Oh, I'm in control of my effort," then typically the outcome is better. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. A little, and I, I love all of this. I am curious because the question I get a lot from parents is, like, how does it all work in your schedule? Like busy sport, like two kids in sports, you know, moving all over the place. So how did this actually look like in your daily routine for Isla? Does she carve out a day a week? What did, what does she do? She carved out a day a week. She knew that, um, like I said, she was very black and white. She was like,"I need to get this sh- a module done in a week. I, and I wanna stay on it." You know, there might be a day where she... We tried to do it on a Saturday or a Sunday- Mm-hmm where she'd work through it. But if it ex- went a little bit long,'cause I think there were a couple modules that were a little bit longer- Yeah um, she might have had to do'em in two days. But it was just sitting down, whether it was, um, before bed or after practice and just carving out that time. Um, and it was manageable. It was definitely manageable. Okay, great. Yeah. I started framing this for athletes. I don't know if she was on the call when I started doing this. I was like, this is your mind gym time. Like you, you go to, you know, tennis practice, work on your skills. Maybe eventually, maybe she's already doing this, you go to the weight room to get faster and stronger, and then you work on your mental game, and that's like your mind gym time. And, um, tell athletes that, I mean, a little bit goes a long way. We say 20, 30 minutes a week is really all you need to get results in your sport. And, um, yeah,'cause a lot of'em are, I ask them on the call too, like,"How, how many hours do you think you need to work on your mental game?" And they're like,"Oh, probably as much as your physical." And I'm like,"Uh, I don't know how you have another 40 or, you know, or like 20 hours." That time isn't adding up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like,"No, no. Like 30 minutes a week is really like all you need for that." So, okay, that's helpful to know. And then she, um, she came to the initial call. Did you activate your live support? So she was coming regularly to the other calls. Yes. We activated our live support. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. I did a little bit later'cause I w- life got in front of me, but, but yes, she did. Okay. Yeah. And you mentioned, I mean, a little bit about the, the call, the first call that she went to. But how was that? Like, being able to come to calls, maybe the guest speakers, the If she used Coach on Contact,'cause I know she's a little bit younger. I don't know if she was not. Mm-hmm. So yeah, can you speak to that piece of it? She, she really liked, um, I think they were on Sunday evenings- Yeah those extra calls, and she did like them. She, I think she liked the part that there were other girls on it and asking questions. Like, I was surprised,'cause I was sitting at the dining room table when she was on the island, and I heard her ask questions. I was like,"Oh my goodness," you know? Like- So I think it just brought forth, like, a community of other girls doing this- Mm-hmm whether they're older or not, um, that sh- she's just part of a community to try to be better in her sport, so. Yeah. I know. I love it. I hear that all the time from moms,'cause they're like,"I don't know if she Like,"She's really shy. I'm not sure if she's gonna, like, say anything on the call." And I'm like,"It's totally fine. You don't have to." Like, some girls can just, they just sit there and listen. But I, I'm like,"You'd be surprised." They start- Mm-hmm because they see other people, like, asking questions. They're like,"Oh, that, I have that question too," or,"I have something similar." So. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. How about shifting gears a little bit. You mentioned a little bit about the parent side, and so learning some tools with Um, for those that are unfamiliar, um, our program is kind of split into two. So there's the resources for athletes, and the program that they go through, and the live calls, but the parents also have a training that they go through to kind of learn how to support their athlete's mental game and things to say and not say. So there's that piece of it. Um, you said that it was, it was helpful, but I'm curious about your, your relationship. Like, was there any impact, um, to your relationship with Aila as you were learning new things and she was learning new things? I would say absolutely, 100%. Um, I Not that we had a bad relationship or anything- Yeah but I think I had written this in one of the comments, was when it, they asked, like, thinking about things that you might subconscious, or not, unconsciously do. Yeah. N- n- and, um, it was just a great talking point b- between Aila and I. Was like,"Is there anything that I'm doing on the side,"'cause you don't typically, like, cheer at tennis- Right"that I'm doing that you She's like,"Absolutely. I, I, I want you to smile at me." Mm-hmm."I want You know what I mean? I, I don't wanna look over and your face be serious. So it was ve- it's very much to me, like, I have a part in how it affects her, even though I'm not saying anything. So, um, it was just a way to have an open dialogue about what, what are you looking for in us when we are loving to watch you. Um, and then also she openly talked about, like, at the end of a match, no matter what happens, like, how she would prefer it to be. Like- Mm-hmm you know? I think it just really opened up the door on, um- Just hearing her thoughts on what she prefers or not, um- Mm-hmm and just reminds me, like, not that I, a parent intentionally does anything to upset their child, but- Mm just be a more active role in how I can better support her before, during, and after any matches that she's in. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with you. It's like w- we're not, we're not trying to, like- No sabotage or anything. No. Right. We're just doing what we think works, and- Yeah it's interesting because athletes typically do have opinions about, like, you know, pre-game, post-game, during. And you're like,"Oh, I didn't know you, like, thought about this," or Yeah. I mean, yeah, I didn't even I mean, she doesn't look at us at, um, tennis matches, so I really didn't think, but she does. I don't see it. Like,"Don't cross your arms." Like, just try to, like, be positive, smile. You know? Um, so it was just a really good way to have open dialogue between us that opened that conversation, so. Mm, yeah. Okay. That's awesome. Okay, and then where, where from here? Like, what are Isla's goals? And you mentioned, like, we're, you're going through kind of the, the on-demand content again. How is that looking right now? Um, again, I, it's that Saturday, Sunday where she kind of has a little bit of time. Um- Mm-hmm where,'cause she had just said it to me the other day. She's like,"Oh, I'm so sad that I'm done." And I was like,"You don't have to be done with it." You know? Yeah. I was like,"We can go through it. We can look at more of those, like, visualization things, you know?" Mm. And she was like,"I think we should do that." So again, I think we'll probably space it out a little more, trying to get maybe through a module in a week or two weeks again, um, to just r- relearn it. Are we still practicing it? You know, are you still doing the, the skills or You know what I mean? It's just practice- Yeah practice, pra- practice. I said to her,"It's like the more we do it, the, the, the easier it will come." The, you know, not saying that everything will be great because you're doing it, but it will help you in the long run. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that's We've designed it that way. We actually, um, you can go back through the entire, you know, all five modules. We also have, like, extra bonuses in there, like the tryout prep section, off-season. There's nutrition. There's, there's a bunch of other little things in there. But we specifically recommend athletes go through phase two every new sports season. Okay. I'm sure you've heard this, but- Yeah yeah, um, because that's where they set their affirmations, like, their goals for the season, their 3, 2, 1 brave, and that's gonna change as she- Mm-hmm grows. And, um, we say, like, at a minimum doing the 3, 2, 1 brave. So that's, like, that five to seven-minute mindset routine that we recommend for athletes to do on the days when they're practicing and competing, like, at, at a minimum to kind of help get their mindset right. So even that is a really great tool to carry through. Like, this is part of my pre-practice routine, is doing this. I mean, I do it with my team every practice. So that they're, like, just r- constantly retraining their brain to, like- In that they have to find evidence that their affirmations are coming true. They have to write down what they're grateful for, so their brain is, like, scanning and hunting the good. So all of that is, like, that, those habits will continue to build for her, so. Yeah. Yes. Well, Heather, I mean, what you've shared ri- so far has been amazing. Um, but I wanna leave it open to you as we wrap up. Is there anything else that maybe I haven't asked you or that you wanna mention that other moms and dads listening might need to hear? I just cannot recommend, um, your program, um, any more. I mean, we have absolutely enjoyed it with Isla. Our son is going through the boys' boot camp. Oh. Um, so, uh, it's fun to go through with him and kinda see how he's working through that as well. Like I said, they're very different. But, um- Yeah I think the most important thing is just to, um, especially with girls and with Isla, uh, just to increase that self-worth that, you know, within them, to continue to, like, work through things. I just, I can't, can't say how much we've enjoyed your program, and we look forward to continuing to work through it with Isla and Reid as well, our son. Yeah. Oh, thank you. I am thrilled for Isla and also for Reid. I didn't realize he's going through the boys' boot camp, so that's awesome. Yeah. Um, those that are listening that also have a boy, um, we've had many boys come through our program. The visualizations and the trainings are gender neutral, but we do have a boys' boot camp that we run live periodically. But the replays of those are inside our program as well, so they can, the boys can go through that piece of it. So in case anyone was wondering about that. Yeah. Um, but thank you again, Heather, for st- uh, sharing so generously and being on. I know that this has helped... It's helped me, but it's, I know it's helping other parents who are, um, considering jumping in as well. So thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.