Alright, everyone, today is a little bit of a different episode because our guest is someone you already know. So if you've been around for really any amount of time, you have heard Coach Sailor and you've heard her through our Athlete Tips. Maybe you've heard her coach, your daughter, if you're in our program, the elite mental game, you see her on her social. She's all over the place. But here's the thing, she's our head athlete coach. She played volleyball. And participated in track and field at Woodworth University. So she's a two time like college athlete. I don't know how you did that. We'll get into that. She is a mental performance coach. She spends time in our program talking and coaching directly with girls, but we've actually never sat down and talked to Saylor about her story, like where she came from. What she went through as an athlete, what made her want to do this work. So today we get to do that. So Sailor, hi. I'm glad we're doing this. Hello. Me too. I'm so excited. Yeah. So we're gonna just jump into it right away. As many of you who've been listening to these episodes, know that once a month we dedicated episode just to learning more about athlete stories because the whole mission behind why we do what we do with the elite competitor, with coach or game, with raising elite competitors, with our, our athletes, with our. Coaches with our moms and dads is because we. Believe that girls should be playing sports. We want them to stay in their sport and then they will become leaders outside of their sport. So play, stay, lead really is our mission driving everything that we do around here. And one of the ways that we want to highlight that mission is just by hearing athletes' stories. So let's start with the beginning. Sailor, take us back. Growing up, volleyball and track and field two sports at the collegiate level. Who were you as an athlete? Like what was your vibe? What were you like? Yeah, I mean, I grew up playing all different kind of sports. Volleyball was definitely my first love though. I started playing in second grade and continued to play and really advanced my skills pretty quickly. I would describe myself and I think a lot of teammates that I played with as very steady and levelheaded and just like the reliable player. A lot of times I was. A team leader or a captain got the nickname of like being the team mom and organizing all of the things. So yeah, I think I was just a leader who was really levelheaded and wanting to give back to my team and contribute in that way. I love that I, oh, Christina here. Everybody. I just randomly popping in to talk. I can totally see that from you also in just how you are in our business. So I can imagine you as a, as a player that way. When you were playing, was it mostly fun for you or like, were you already, were you already someone who was putting in a lot of internal pressure on yourself? Like have a lot of comparison, perfectionism? What was it like? Hmm. Yeah. When I think back to like my early, early days, like elementary school and early middle school, it was definitely just. Fun. I had a huge passion for it. I loved like playing up, going to the University of Washington summer camps and like learning how to jump serve and all of those things from a very young age. I think as I continued to advance though, and starting to play at the club level in middle school, like the, the pressure definitely started to rise and for context, I was a setter for the volleyball team as well. So sometimes there's just that added pressure in that position as well to kind of be. You know, it's often said you're the quarterback of the team. So I definitely remember having moments in middle school of feeling like I was the reason we lost a game or feeling like I was giving all everything I could to the team. And when we would come up short, it was really frustrating'cause I didn't know what else to do. So as much as I tried to keep that strong front, like I definitely have those stories of feeling the pressure, like crying after games in middle school and then, yeah, throughout high school as well, I think. A lot of times, again, put on that strong front and kind of faked my confidence a lot, and people were always shocked to be like. Oh, you seem so confident. And I'm like, you know, I'm just showing up. I'm doing what I can for my team, but I don't always fully believe in myself, but I try to give everything that I can. And then the track, the track mentality. I started track, I did some different competitions like early in elementary school when I was able to like. How far can you throw a softball? How fast can you run 800 meters? Like silly things like that. And then throughout high school I continued, I took a year off my freshman year of track'cause I just did not enjoy it and then got back into it, had fun. But track is definitely a different mentality'cause everything feels a bit more individual and I'm very much a team player, so. Yeah, that was a different set of challenges'cause I had to rely on myself for a lot of things and pushing myself and try not to be so hard on myself in those situations. Yeah. Okay, so that was middle school, high school. I wanna fast forward a little bit into college. So you mentioned that your last two years of college sports were really marked by burnout. Mm-hmm. Um, you mentioned to that, that to us before. I wanna sit with that just for a second, because burnout doesn't just show up one day, like pop outta nowhere. All of a sudden you're burnt out. So what was actually going on internally while you were in college, and what did it feel like? What, what was happening for you? Yeah, I think my first two years of college I had a really tough time. I felt very welcomed on my team, like that was my place. But just in general, like it was really tough. I think college is said to be this glamor, glamorous thing and it's gonna be the best four years of your life. And like I was struggling the first two years and it was really hard to admit that I had think I had thought about transferring my freshman year. I was like, I don't know if this is. For me, like I, I just am, I'm not feeling the vibe on my campus necessarily, and I took time to make more intentional connections, but. Throughout my sports journey, my first, first two years of college, I dealt with a lot of comparison, like constantly comparing myself to other athletes, wondering why I wasn't getting playing time at certain times, thinking that I was too short as well to be a great volleyball player and. To really fit in on the team. So lots of different things like that. And that like riddled my life outside of volleyball too, of comparing myself not feeling good enough. My burnout story. So for context, my, the middle of my sophomore year of college was when the COVID Pandemic Pandemic hit. And so we were sent home and that begun a really long and just kind of, yeah, elongated training period where. You train in the summers for volleyball and so I was training all summer. We went back to campus. We trained all fall. Our fall season got postponed. We were, you know, wearing masks. We were in small groups we could practice with like. Three people. And then spring season, same thing. There was a lot of restrictions and regulations. We kind of had a spring season, and so then I was doing a little bit of juggling with a shorter volleyball season, going straight into my track season and then straight into summer training for my senior year, straight into volleyball. A little bit of a break, so. Burnout really started junior year for me because usually I would get like a week or two of a break between seasons and this was very much nonstop and definitely started affecting my mental health. Started to see a counselor for both the comparison and some depression symptoms that I was having. And I remember feeling my senior year like. I should be like living the best that I can right now. I should be soaking it all in. And I felt like a horrible leader on my team. Like I wasn't fully in and just not as invested as I could be. So it was really like. Torn. It should have been a really great time. And I, I think looking back, I probably did the best I could, but just thinking, okay, well what if it was a little bit better? Or what if I didn't have those struggles with burnout and depression and comparison? So that's, that's a little bit about my burnout story. Yeah. And did anyone ever, and thank you for sharing that by the way. Like I think that there's. Probably more athletes that can resonate with that than, than we think. So just by you sharing I think is really powerful because athletes that are listening and coaches and parents that are listening, like this is probably a story that many of Athlete and many of your athletes are facing. So thank you for just kind of shutting light on that. But did anyone ever like name that for you while it was happening? It sounds like you saw a counselor, so maybe you got some language around it. But did a coach or anyone in your life ever say like, Hey. What you're going through has a name and here's how you work through it. Or was it just kind of you on your own trying to navigate it? Yeah, I, I definitely lead on my support systems and I mean, it's very rare, but I knew I wanted to be a mental performance coach when I was like 15 years old. And we can always get into that too. But I kind of had the language around it. I was studying psychology, I was taking sports psychology classes, like I had great mentors. I remember a. Specific day, like going into my coach's office and me and the assistant coach had a meeting and she was actually a former teammate of mine, so she was a grad assistant. And I remember her telling me like, Hey, do you think that you are like struggling with burnout and depression right now? And I was like, you know what? You might be right. So I think someone else recognizing that in me too, gave me. Kind of the strength to like go and reach out to resources and like dig in. I remember being really nervous to seek out counseling on my campus and I went to this like. R they had really quick sessions that were called Let's Talk, and I just went to one of those sessions and that's when I got set up with my counselor. But on, on the flip side of that too, there was definitely times where people like didn't understand what I was going through. I remember again, walking into my head coach's office this time sitting down and kind of explaining to her like, Hey, I'm struggling. Like I'm, I'm not doing well. The team is also like. Telling me that they're struggling.'cause again, taking on that role as a leader, everyone's coming to me. Um, and they're like, we have been grinding and grinding and grinding nonstop. So the whole team was feeling it too. And I remember telling her that and she was like, well, what do you mean? How could you be struggling? And I was like, dang, that feels like a slap in the face that like, mm-hmm, sure. I know that you're a great coach. I know that you're, you know, coach of the year, all of these things. And I think being able to step down to the athlete's level is really important in getting that support all around for the team. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That would be really challenging to hear that from a coach. I would imagine hearing it from your friend though. Maybe made it feel like you weren't alone in it. And I know we hear that from the girls in our program too, that they, you know, they're probably keeping it in their heads and then they end up in the program and then all of a sudden they realize, oh, everybody's talking about this and working through this, and it feels like you're not alone. And that's, that came up for me as you were sharing that. Like just hearing somebody validate you and say like, this could be a thing. Like, let's get help. Totally. Tell us more. You mentioned you wanted to be a mindset coach. You knew this at age 15, which that's pretty remarkable.'cause I feel like, well, I guess we're much older than you. But you know, people weren't always talking about that when I was 15. Actually, nobody was. But how did that come to be like. This, it's pretty crazy and it's a very rare story. So I'm like very thankful that I'm quite literally living out my dream, like being a mental performance coach and helping girl athletes with their confidence and managing pressure and all of those things. When I was 15, so I was, I think a sophomore in high school is what age that would've been. I was playing club volleyball at the time, and I remember one of my teammates, and she was like quite probably the best physical player on our team. She was our outside hitter, like go-to player. And I remember her mental game was just not there. And at that time I didn't have the language about it, but I was like. Huh? Like this girl has all of the physical skills and yet she is crying after mistakes. And I'm like, I believe it. Like I see her working hard. We had, you know, three days of practice, three hours every day, and it's like, I see her working hard. I know she's putting in the reps, like she could go on and play at the D 1D two level, but she's crying after mistakes. We get in these pressure moments in games and she's like. Literally crumbling under the pressure to the point where she's like having to get pulled out of the games and for the go-to player to have to get pulled outta the games. Like that's really tough to see that as a teammate as well. Mm-hmm. And times where she was like yelling at our teammates right. In those pressure moments when she couldn't handle it. And so I, I got curious about that. I didn't. Have a lot of judgment at the time. I mean, I'm, I'm sure I complained about it to my parents and things like that, but I got curious and I was like, huh, okay. Like she has all the physical skills, but there's something missing and I wanna figure out what that missing piece is. And so, I mean, I have like. Notes in my notes app on my phone from twenty fifteen twenty seventeen, like how to become a sports psychologist. And I had it like all laid out and like courses to take colleges to look at, different opportunities to pay attention to and like resources. So. I have those things in my notes app, and I was like, all right, like, this is my path. I'm gonna figure out how to like be a mindset coach for athletes. So that was my story and I just continued to take small steps towards that until, yeah, I, I, I'm here and I'm living it the past three years. Yeah's. Amazing. That's so cool. Okay, well I love that, uh, we'll hear more more about that I think in a, in a little bit. But I do want to circle back and ask you about that decision to stay, even though you were feeling burned out. You stayed, and that's not nothing. Because typically what we hear, like Christina and I quit our sports when we were burned out. So was there a point where you thought about walking away or was it more in that you stayed but it just looked different? Or you got the help you needed? Can you take me there? Yeah. I don't think I ever really thought about walking away. Yeah, I don't think that came to mind at all. It didn't really feel like an option at all. And quite honestly, like again, I had been playing volleyball since I was like. Eight years old. So it was my why, like it was a huge part of my identity. I think I knew that I was just gonna need to like get the resources that I needed and like start to implement those really consistently. And yeah, like continuing to ask for help, leaning on those support systems and just like making the most of the opportunity because. In that time, it sucked for a lot of people. Like I knew that I wasn't the only one, and especially hearing that from all of my teammates, I was like, all right, we're in this together. How can we all make it work together? So I didn't really think about like quitting at all. It was just using my resources more wisely and honestly being brave and like getting out of my comfort zone in that way too. Yeah. Okay. When you look back, do you feel like that was the right call? I, I do think it was, yeah. Again, I have like a few small regrets of like, oh, I wish I could have been a better teammate. I wish I like, was a better leader and I feel like I didn't give everything I could, but I do think it was the best decision to continue playing both volleyball and track and field my senior year. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. I wanna chat a little bit sailor about the skills that you've, that you learned playing sports. And you've already mentioned so many of these, and it's fun to hear you say it because I can totally see it in you as an adult. But when you think about playing sports and the skills that it actually gave you, not just like the resume stuff, but real things that you use every single day, what skills do you carry with you now? Like the things that show up at work or when something hard happens in your life, you know, what do you lean on that you know, you built through playing sports? Oh gosh. I feel like there's like so, so many and could go so many different routes for this. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind being a dual sport collegiate student athlete, like you have to be really on top of everything. And so I remember in college always trying to be like a week or two ahead of where I was in school. And so like just trying to be really thorough and diligent and like forward thinking of having it together because. I could not fall behind. Like that was not an option. And even now, like when I get behind, I always have this feeling of like, I'm behind, I'm behind, I'm behind. But I think it's because of how I was wired. So like my organizational strategies I think were definitely helpful as well as, I mean, I continue to play some like rec volleyball, but outside of volleyball too, I mean, before this interview I was getting a little bit nervous. I was like, oh my God. I do the podcast every month, but I still feel a little bit nervous. And so like. Taking some deep breaths, recognizing like, okay, the nerves mean that I'm like ready for this. I care a lot about it. And like using that as a competitive advantage versus crumbling under the nerves. Yeah, I think like being resilient as well. You're gonna have the losses, you're gonna have the setbacks, but continuing to. Push through adversity. Yeah, I think that, and I'm very, I'm a very competitive person too, so I like to be a go-getter. And you know, some people love that about me. Some people don't like that and they're not as competitive as me. Yeah. You just laid out like three qualities that were like, man, sailor's an awesome person to be on our team. They're exactly the things you just laid out. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. And you're an Enneagram three, right? We determined that. Oh my gosh, I don't remember. Yeah, I feel like you're okay. Yeah, I know. I've done so many personality tests from like being in psychology. My college roommates were all very into that, but I'm like, I don't remember my, all of them. I think you're. Yes, your competitiveness. You mentioned though, like when we were like brainstorming for this interview intention and thoughtfulness as something sports gave you, which is interesting because it's not typically what people say. Like people that we've interviewed have said things like recently it's grit, hard work. Yeah. You know, things like that. So I'm curious, I mean, I totally see that in you, but what does intentionality actually look like for you and how you like move through your life and your work? Yeah, I feel like intentionality is such a huge piece and I do like one words every, every year, and that has definitely been one of my one one words of intention. I've had purpose, I've had belief, bold, like all of those things kind of go back to that thoughtfulness, I think. And yeah, you're so right, Brie. Like it's a bit of a contradiction. Like I wasn't this hothead gritty person. I mean, there was definitely moments of being adaptable and brave and things like that, but I think the thoughtfulness for me. I just like love to know why or how I should be doing certain things. So I like to break things down to like fully understand them, and that's how I really grow and that's how I grew as an athlete. And I continue to grow as a person of like, okay, why am I doing this? Or like, what's the process for doing this? And so I spend a lot of time in the process because I know that that's how the outcome is going to like flourish from that. So spending that time in the process and being really intentional and thoughtful about it. I think intention for me is just like being present and having your focus on the task at hand and yeah, like I, same thing that we teach athletes right now, like I've lived a lot of that, of like having a really intentional pre-game routine of like I'm writing out my goal for the day and my goal is based on something in my control. Okay. After practice, I'm reflecting, did I reach that goal? Why or why not? Incorporating gratitude in a lot of different things. So that's how I see intention playing out both as an athlete and now as Yeah, a, a human and a professional. Yeah. You totally walk the walk, you know, like what we, what you. Teach athletes and in our program like you, you do that in your life, which is amazing. And you obviously spend a lot of time talking to the girls directly in our programs. And when you're listening to them, what do you hear coming up over and over? Like what are they carrying that you recognize because you carry that too as an athlete? Yeah, I think a big one is like the nerves of, I'm so nervous before I go and compete. I mean, I see a lot of skills not translating like I'm practicing so well, and I just like, it's not clicking in competition. And I often see that as a sign of, all right, there's probably way too much pressure on you in competition, and you have this feeling and this inner dialogue of like, I have to compete. Well, I need to do this, versus. Again, going back to like your why and the love of the sport of no, you get to go out there and play the sport that you love. You. This is something you want to do and you're capable of doing it. Like you can rise up to the challenge. So I think nerves are a big thing that I see coming up. Definitely the comparison too, and that was part of my own story, and that's a really, really tough one. I'm trying to think of. Other like big themes that I've seen. Yeah, I mean those are two big ones that I can really resonate with and relate to. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious also, sailor, with you working with all the girls in our program and the angle you bring to it, I know there's a version of you. Back in your younger years where you burned out, maybe you didn't have all the tools you needed, and now you're that person that gives these tools to the girls. What's the thing that you wish most somebody would've said to you back then, either said to you, handed you a tool, like when you were in the thick of it, what do you wish? Yeah, I think. That's a, that's a good one. And again, I could go so many different ways on this. I think just that idea of like, it's okay to take up space and like you can believe in yourself even if like no one else has your back.'cause I'm a huge believer that your confidence comes from you. And like a pre-game phrase that my dad always told me was, trust your skills. Trust your skills. And he told me that, I mean, probably starting in middle school, literally ev before every game, Hey, trust your skills. And I don't think I really realized. What it meant to me until college. And I was like, oh, like I'm, I'm able to believe in myself. Like I don't need that permission from anyone else.'cause I think it's easy to wait for external validation and for parents or coaches or teammates to tell you that you're great. But that Al ultimately has to come from you and like you need to be authentic and take up space. So that's a more long-winded explanation, but I think like it's okay to take up space and be you. Yeah. And then to be even a little deeper on that, so if you could say something directly to a girl athlete who's starting to lose her love for the sport, not because she doesn't care, but she's just, it's just too heavy. What would you actually say to her? Like, not what a coach is supposed to say, but you know, the real thing. What would you say? Yeah, I think that you're gonna get through it. Like this is usually temporary and like getting back to what your why is and why you initially. Started playing and quite honestly, like it's just a sport. I think that's something I needed to hear is that it's just a sport. Your sport's, what you do, it's not who you are. It becomes so wrapped up and you become so engulfed in it and like it's okay if you want to walk away. It's okay if you wanna push through and continue. That decision has to come from you, but needs to come on your terms as well. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's good. I'm glad you said that because even just on our last call, like this question came up multiple times from athletes like feeling burned out, not really sure if they should step away, should they? They should keep going. Like, I just think there's more athletes in this situation than we realized. And so on the flip side. What would you say to her mom? Okay, so I know that there is a mom listening to this right now whose daughter is in like exactly that girl. What do you think her mom means to hear? Yeah, I mean, my mom was such a great sports mom too, and I think many athletes can, can say that, and moms are not gonna be like perfect at everything either. It's, it's their first time going through life too. I think the sports moms who their athlete is maybe on the verge of quitting or kind of losing the joy for their sport, they're seeing that burnout playing out is like, let. Let that decision be your athlete's decision and you don't need to go and try to fix everything. I think moms are big fixers, which is a huge strength of theirs too. Like they want to jump in, they want to, you know, be in that mama bear mode and like fix everything and protect them from everything. But really just like sitting with their feelings and being that safe space to go to no matter what they're going to decide. So I think, yeah, just like being that safe space for the athlete is really important. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's great advice. So, all right. Well, sailor, this is exactly why we wanted to do this episode with you, because you're not someone who just teaches the mental game and is literally living out your dream as a mental performance coach. But you've, you've lived it, right? Mm-hmm. And every girl who gets to work with you, I mean, honestly, they're not just getting a phenomenal coach. They're getting someone who firsthand knows what it costs to stay when it's hard. And someone who has built the tools too. Make it worth it. So thank you so much for sharing your story. Yeah, of course. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Well moms, if this one hit with you, make sure to share it. Coaches that are listening as well, know that your athletes are probably going through it. So you know, make sure to extend more, a little more compassion maybe then you, then you think, and also give them resources like I think that's kinda the theme that runs through all of these episodes when we're hearing athlete stories that. These are, you know, situations and, and moments where athletes are looking for tools. And if we can be the coach and we can be the parent and who provides these tools for them, then it can make a world of difference. So that's what our resources do. That's what our podcasts do. That's what our free trainings, our programs. That's why we exist. So don't hesitate because athletes definitely need it. Alright everyone, I hope you enjoyed this and we will see you in the next episode.