Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Bre, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'm so excited that you're here for this episode. I actually had the pleasure recently of sitting down with a sports mom. Her name is Kimberly. Her kids play multiple sports. We've got soccer, basketball, cross country. I think there's even more that I'm. Missing, which means that she is in the car a lot with her kids. And that also means that there's opportunities for conversations or situations where kids are spiraling. And you as a mom are like, how do I build her confidence when she is beating herself up? So I got to hear from Kimberly on the strategies that she's picking up inside our mental training program, the elite mental game. So all of her kids are going through our program, so they're picking up mental training strategies that they're applying to their sport, and she's seeing differences in their confidence in their mental game. But also what's unique about our program is that we also support the parents because no one gives you the roadmap of like how to be a sports parent, how to not screw up the sports journey, how to respond to them when they're beating themselves up. All of those things we're like, what do we do? So we actually provide the roadmap for you, and you get to hear from Kimberly on what she changed, especially in the car ride home and how that's changed their dynamic with her. Kids, the skills and strategies that her kids are picking up and how they're applying them to their sport, but also outside of the sport. And we're talking about the elite mental game and the logistics of it all. Like how do they fit mental training into a busy sports week when there's lots of practices going on. And competitions and school and all of those things. So if you have ever wanted your daughter to do our program, learn mental training skills, but you're wondering like, how does it actually work? What are the skills that she learns? You get to hear it all from Kimberly because she's been through it and she gets to share honestly with you on what. Her kids are learning what the most valuable things are and how they incorporate it into their busy lifestyle. Now this, as I mentioned, is a recording. During a time when we were doing a promotional special for the Elite mental game, we were offering 50% off. So if you want to get that discount, I've actually provided a special link in the show notes so that you. Get that discount as well. If you listen to this episode and you're like, okay, cool. This answers all my questions about the program, I would love to jump in. We're honoring that 50% off for our podcast listener, so enjoy that. And I really hope that you walk away from this episode with Kimberly realizing that, hey. First of all, I'm not alone. There's simple things that you can be doing as a sports mom to help this relationship, and there's resources and tools out there for your athlete on the mental side of the game, because typically they're not being taught these things from their coaches. Although their coaches see it's important, they don't have typically the resources to be able to teach them to their athletes. All right. Enjoy this episode with Kimberly. I'll see you in the next episode. We are here for a very special interview with Kimberly. I know that you're here for a panel. You're like, I thought there was gonna be a panel of people. Well, the panel is Kimberly and I, which I'm really excited about. I know a funny story. I was talking to Kimberly offline and we had moms. As we all are moms, and we had four moms lined up and then one by one this week they were like, oh, I forgot about this, or I got this going. I got this. Yeah, it is gonna be an amazing panel. So. We get to have some, one-on-one time with Kimberly and really hear about her experience inside EMG, which I'm thrilled about. So we're gonna hop right into it because I know you are here to not hear from me, but you're here to hear from Kimberly about her experience inside the program because many of you are considering joining as today is the last day to join during our fall enrollment special. So let's get into it. Kimberly, will you introduce yourself? Like how many kiddos do you have? What are their ages? What sports do they play? Sure. I have, two daughters, and they are 13 and almost 15. So we're looking forward to that. Pre driver's ed stuff going on here soon. Yeah. Hoping that she can get herself to practice soon because they both play three sports, so we are, oh my gosh. They play three sports. All the time. Yes. So my youngest, they both play club soccer at a fairly elite level. And then, my youngest also does cross country and basketball for her middle school and soccer. Also for middle school. And then my oldest just started high school and she's doing, not just her club soccer season, but also preseason for basketball tryouts. And, she plays softball a little less competitively, but only because there's so many hours the day. Yeah. And we can also fit in so much. So, yeah. There's a lot going on in your household. That's awesome. Okay, that's great to kind of get, get a little background. Those of you that are coming on live, welcome. We are just getting going with our interview today. We get to ask Kimberly all the questions. You can pepper her, with any questions that you have while we're on here. So go ahead in the chat though, if you're joining us live, I know some of you're, you'll be watching the recording of this, but if you're joining us live, let us know. Where are you coming from? What sports does your daughter play? A lot of you joined us on live trainings this week, so I got to hear from you already, but pop in again. Where are you coming from? What sports did your daughter play? And then if you have questions as we go, that's what this is for, just kind of, uh, a q and a and hearing somebody's experience that has actually been through the elite mental game. So take us back, Kimberly, to the beginning. What piqued your interest in joining EMG in the first place? Yeah, so I'd say about four or five months ago, I kind of saw some of your promotional material and it kind of hit me at just the right moment because my youngest daughter, I think I mentioned that she is a club soccer player also, just with having an older sister, she is consistently from a younger age'cause she's just very naturally athletic and talented. Always been offered to play up with her sisters teams like, you know, play up in age no matter what team she's on, there's always a coach trying to get her practice up in the next level. And we in particular were in this elite soccer season where she had come off, constantly being asked to play up and feeling uncomfortable with it. And in fact, we were going into a state cup season where she was being asked to play up with the state cup team and she was just like feeling uncomfortable and resistant and I was really struggling to like find the right words to help her. And not have it become like a battle. Like these opportunities were supposed to be things that built her up and they were kind of things that were sort of bringing her joy down. And I wanted to figure out how could I help her with that. And so when I saw your what to say challenge that you did mm-hmm. I joined and did that as a parent and I went through and actually did the exercises that you recommended, you know, left her a note with her positive inequalities, having nothing to do with her sport. She's a child that's really resonates with written. Content more than verbal. And so some of those challenges that you had me do that were actually like written and more action based and less verbal really helped my relationship with her. And so even though she was nervous going into State Cup weekend, she was coming off the field positive and. Content and happy. And so that was just a big change. And that was without her even doing the program. That was with me doing the program. Yeah. And I started to rope my husband into it too, because I was like, this is only, you know, 50% good on the parents' side, if it's just me. Changing my language and changing my behavior. So we've got kind of, I was like, I kind of want the whole family involved. Mm-hmm. But I kind of decided regardless of if the program works for her, I know it's going to work for her if I do my part of it. And I liked that it was kind of the, it was a family plan so it could benefit my older daughter as well. So that's what got us to sign up. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. I forgot that you came in, you learned about us through the What to Stay challenge. So those of you that are like, what is that? Basically we, we actually have the What to Stay challenge inside the parent side of our program. So it's like a little piece of the program that we pulled out that Stephanie did, but those of you that are joining EMG or hearing that and you're like, that'd be cool. That's inside, there as well. It's in your live support section. So, but yeah, it's basically. Your role in all of, all of this is super important and I love that you mentioned just by changing your approach, changing what you're saying, what you're doing, how you're approaching, just like the competition and your daughter, when she's feeling all those feelings, changes, changes her too. So we talk in that challenge about how like, kids wired to us based on, you know, the relationship with us. So when we change our approach, they also change. So yeah. A lot of that content's in there. Yeah. Very cool. Yep, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it worked really well. Yeah. Yeah. So then you decided to take the step to give her the skills'cause right, it's kind of a piece of the puzzle, yes. Like your part of it, and then there's hers. And so yes, we're like, okay, we wanna give your girls the skills. Let's take it from the beginning because a lot of questions I get from athlete or from parents are like. Well, how do I present this to my daughter? I don't wanna make it seem like something's wrong with her, or, you know, how am I gonna present it so that she's open it? So how did you do that? So I kind of did it a little bit different with each of my daughters. I think we all as parents know our daughters uniquely and like some of what they'll resonate with and what won't. So with my youngest who was really the one that sort of was the catalyst for us joining the program, she has already, gone through occupational therapy, as a. Younger child and she had seen how working with them on executive function skills, pre-planning, stuff like that really benefited her. But as we were getting into middle school, we didn't have as much time and availability in her schedule to do that. So the way we kind of talked with her about it is this will be like a way to keep working on those skills that you're finding beneficial. But now you get to do it in a fun way and like the context of your sport, you know? Yeah. And so it'll be things that will help you with, how you're feeling about your sport and like your goals for your sport. But it will also be those same skills will. Resonate and translate to other areas of your life. And so that wasn't kind of enough buy-in for her because she was already comfortable with like journaling and, she just kind of naturally does those things. I'll find sticky notes around my house of like her planning, her checklist of like preparation for the next day, like. She's my, my daughter. She's high functioning executive skills. Yeah. So my other daughter is not like that at all. She, yeah, she is, super hardworking, determined, you know, stresses about, you know. Just doing all the things at the best optimal all the time. And definitely doesn't ever wanna feel like, oh, there's, like you said, you don't want'em to ever feel like this is because there's something wrong with you. So the approach with with her was really more the one that you recommend in your program of, talking to them about how athletes, elite athletes, don't just train their body, right. They have to learn about the sport, which we already do that, watching tape and watching other games at home. Mm-hmm. But also like your mental preparation and mental training is equally as important and it's something we just haven't. You are not gonna get from your coaches. In fact, sometimes your coaches might kind of be the anti of that, not all coaches. Yeah. You know, I, I think we've all probably experienced one or so coaches out there that have maybe, maybe done the opposite of helping a, a child's mental game. So it's kind like, let's maybe try this out and see if that, you know, can bring another dimension to what makes you great, at your sport and again, build skills. we love you regardless of you being an athlete. Yeah. We do sports. We talk to them about like, the purpose of us putting you in sports is not for you to be like a professional athlete in our house. But we are trying to give you the experience of being a teammate, of being, of building your own leadership, of building your own, you know, soft skills that will help you no matter what you do in life. So that resonated with her. And also knowing that like, elite athletes do this, right? Like mm-hmm. For her that that resonated. My younger one doesn't necessarily care about being an elite athlete, even though she has this natural talent, but the older one kind of does. Yeah. I love that you know your kids so well and you know, what will land. That's why we provide a lot of different. Paths, and like opportunities to present it to athletes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And one of which is those are some conversation starters. We have the athlete quiz that some parents do. So just take the quiz and make it a little bit a fun way to learn about I did that with my older one. Yeah. Okay. I did the athlete, my older one and the younger one. I think I did the visualization thing. Oh yeah. With the thumb. Oh, right. To, you know, buy in. Yeah. Yeah. And a note on that, those of you that are listening, and joining during the fall enrollment, we decided to add a little popup event on Sunday for athletes. Parents can come as well. But, we just decided, hey, let's get all, everybody that's joining during this time and get the athletes together. If you are like, I don't really know how to talk about it, and I'll do it for you. I do this in the program too, but it'll be a live event. We'll do the thumb exercise that Kimberly was talking about, and if you were. On the webinar, a lot of times that is like, oh wow, for athletes, like this is, this is cool. We'll do some visualization stuff as well, like just little things to help them see like, this is a cool thing that will help them. And I will talk about the program if you're like, I don't really know how to talk about it. So anyways, just one other idea too, like my, my daughters love, like the brain games type shows or Oh, yeah. Like the shows that talk about mental to physical connection with different celebrities or whatnot. Mm-hmm. So just even maybe that as a prep step, if that gets them excited about seeing what it does for, you know, just it's fun to think about for some of us. Right. How that, mental, physical connection works so I think they already were, because of their interest in those types of shows, were kind of prepared to. Enjoy this program. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Okay, so, you got'em in, they started doing the program. They started probably, well, I'll let you describe that. Like, did they just kind of start doing the trainings right away or did you take a different approach? So we started in the summer, which is their, mm-hmm. I wouldn't say off season, but lower season for them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. They're kind of training somewhat year round, but certainly was. First of all, no homework for us, which helped. Yeah, with the number activities we're constantly running to. And so we started, and I initially had them kind of doing it together, but then I found that I needed to kind of go to different pace with one than the other just because availability and passion. My younger one. It was kind of surprise because this is the type of thing I would've expected her to be resistant to anything. That was my idea. Oh, right. Yeah, of course. I dunno if you have one of those. Yeah. But maybe because of her experience with these types of techniques, she kind of started to sometimes ask to do it. Oh, cool. So I was like, yes. So I think she started to see it helping her. And she, I did this thing in the summer where I would mix, this program with a couple other things, like talking about her changing body and Oh yeah. And like some, just like some summer slide activities to not lose our, you know, mask skills and stuff like that. And we called it Shine Time. That was like our time together to work on these different things. So, she's my one, I kind of have to. She's younger, so like work along with her to engage. Mm-hmm. And that worked really, really well with her. I would say in a way it worked and was better with her maybe because I did make such a concentrated effort on getting it into her schedule. And as soon as she like, saw it start to help her, you know, my older one is just busier and she's also like, had a big transition in her life. So. The approach that I've used with her, she did do some in the summer, but as the, her freshman year ramped up mm-hmm. We've kind of backed off doing it like on a weekly scheduled basis. Yeah. There's certain times where I'm like, Hey, let's bring it back out. But I find even if she's not ready to bring it back out to like find areas for it to fit it in with her. I find time for me mm-hmm. To go do my part of like looking up what you have online that will help me as a parent, guide her through something she's going through. So even though she's not maybe doing all of the activities at the same pace as her sister, I think she's still benefiting from it. Because they, like I said, they have different needs. They have different styles and so, in a way the program content for her, I almost feel like is gonna help her more with her academics.'cause she's really, really, she'll cry if she gets a 90 on something, you know, like she is very type a academic rigor too. So just figuring out how to like lower the pressure mm-hmm. Even on the academic side is something that I will bring it out for. And then with my younger daughter. Something that I found that's helpful with getting started too, is because eventually they're doing more and more on their own, but I wanna make sure I'm using the right language to meet them where they're at. Mm-hmm. And so I will actually preview their videos too. I don't know that recommend or not, because I know a parent. But I'll go ahead and preview them too. And then the other thing that helped me get some start is I created on these workbooks, like I put it in a binder. Yeah, yeah. And so I put your thing and then they, they have their, you know. Printouts inside to do their work. And that's just like something simple we can pull out, oh, we have 15 minutes, let's pull it out. Here's your binder. Go have fun. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So many good things. Yeah. So in the program they do have workbooks, but I love that. And you printed them out and. Some people I've heard of other moms, sending them to like FedEx and getting'em, you know, spiral bound or something like that, and it's just super simple. So it's, something tangible. But yeah, even if there's not a whole lot of time, I tell, athletes even, like, even if you're just doing a visualization before your game, like that's mental training and that can be great. When they get in phase two and they learn 3, 2, 1, brave. That's a five minute mindset routine. Mm-hmm. Do 3, 2, 1, brave. Like, even if you don't have time to sit down and do like, you know, a 10 minute training or look at the training in the car on the way. So I love that and I love the shine time. That's such a cute idea. Yeah, we tell some of the parents of younger athletes, I think this would be so special for like older athletes too, that even carving out 30 minutes a week and like going to Starbucks or you know, going to a coffee shop, getting a treat and like both working on your training, that's really special because it's like dedicated time for both of you. So. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Okay, let's talk about, let's talk about the results. What did you start to notice in your girls? What tools were they using? Let's go there. So I think initially when they were, again, I think that this program has the potential to be amazing. If you get a kid totally bought in, we are like slow on the uptake. Yeah, they did initially use the the snapback routine and I saw them see results with it. I think they need to be more consistent with. The program to like fully reap the words of it. Yeah. But I do think the journaling alone, has really helped and I would say I noticed. I think I said I went into this with my daughter, kind of being resistant to playing up with this top team and like going to State Cup. Mm-hmm. And I started this program myself a few weeks before, and I would say I noticed even before she started the program, a change because she came off that field, as I said, positive. Mm-hmm. I saw a change in. I could see, like when she was journaling, when I see her actually doing the activities, I notice the change almost immediately, if that makes sense. Like within the week? Yeah. Mm-hmm. But the thing that I've seen building up is she was, kind of losing the joy of it. I feel like it was starting to feel like a job to her sometimes. Especially like her most elite sport. And most recently, so we we're about four months in, she came off, she was on the field in a game and it was a game where her whole team really should have been frustrated'cause they were sort of. Set up for, for failure, just with not having the roster size they really needed to succeed. Mm-hmm. And yet I saw her and a teammate like laughing on the field about something when I think she normally would've just been in her head. Do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And for sure. And just seeing her have that joy even in a situation that previously. Would've kind of shut her down. I was like, this is amazing. Like mm-hmm. And I credit the program for that because I think she was losing that joy even in the best of circumstances or like tying, in fact, one of her, I hate to. You know, break her confidence. But one of her, top goal of the, 3, 2, 1, brave. Right. Where you write down your intentions Yeah. Is to have fun again. Oh, amazing. In her sport. So I saw that, like actually in action, on the field. So, and she had just started that 3, 2, 1, brave maybe within a couple weeks before that occurred. So that was really neat to see. And I think I've also noticed just the whole time our relationship has strengthened, which is maybe another question, but I'm not setting her off as much. You know, we don't have uncomfortable car rides anymore after games or before games. Yeah. I've learned like what her style is. You know, one of my kids wants the music, wants to pump up, the other one, kind of wants quiet. And after the game I'm allowed to say good game, and that's it. Unless she opens up and want asks or wants to talk about it. But her, instruction to me is like, I'm like, is there anything I can say? And she's like, just say good game. Like nothing. Specific, but mm-hmm. I have been allowed, I have realized, I think you talk about reframing to, I noticed that. Mm-hmm. And making sure the things you notice or the things in their control. So like that example where she came off where she was having fun on the field despite the situation. Mm-hmm. I talked with her about that after the game. I felt comfortable that that was an gonna be an okay thing to say after the Yeah. Your framework work. So I was like, I noticed that you were having fun on the field with your teammate. Mm-hmm. And she was, she told me about the situation and like what they were laughing about and what made it joyful. And that was just, it's really cool to get back to that type of a relationship about her sport as opposed to feeling like it's a taboo topic that I don't know. Yes. How, how the conversation is gonna go, if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Oh that's so good. And I love what you mentioned about, so the 3, 2, 1, brave was that mindset routine I was talking about that they learn in phase two. Mm-hmm. And even just the act like the mind is so powerful. So her recognizing that she wants to have fun. Her putting that out as an intention and affirmation. We have them also connect, like an example or a visualization that connects to each of their affirmations. So we prompt them. Mm-hmm. Around like, okay, what's just, what's an example of what it looks like to have fun? You know? Yes. Playing your sort and. And so the mind, even just that little bit of like intention and putting that out there, like it really does make sense. Yeah. So, and another one of our intentions is to like win, like win more games or win, you know, a lot of games. And she came off a weekend where they. They crushed a team in their first game, but their second game, they lost a close one. And I thought it was really cool that her evidence included both. Oh really?'cause she was like, we did a, had a really strong performance on this day, but we also like performed really well against a tough team. Mm-hmm. So like her seeing that as progress towards her intention, whether or not she was all the way there or not, was like really cool also to see. Yeah. And that honestly is a life skill. This whole idea of like, things happen mm-hmm. In, in our lives and situations, all the things, right? But we get to decide the story and the meaning that we assign. To it. Yeah. And this is a way that athletes are practicing that with their sport. They get to assign the meaning of that loss and what is gonna come of it because left to our own devices, our brain has that negativity bias. So it will be like, well, we lost, so that means that we're not very good, or we suck, or we're probably gonna lose the next one. But. When she is, you know, prompted, we, you mentioned the evidence journal, like to provide evidence of how some of these affirmations are coming true. Now she can pull on that and be like, well, yeah, the outcome was this, but how about all this? So. But now I can see the context around it, and we're, we're actually moving more towards that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then my older daughter, I've talked about how she's maybe a little bit lagging, so she's not on the 3, 2, 1 brave part yet. Mm-hmm. But her high school is the top athletic program in the state. Like historically, it is a very tough competition, um, to make any team at this school. And so the basketball preseasons been very stressful for her. And so she came off, a practice the other day talking about like something she missed or something that slipped. And I actually, I knew, I knew because her sister was ahead on the 3, 2, 1 brave and about, you know, like how we, the way we talk to ourself and I gave her. Some of the examples that you use in the program? I don't wanna, I think everyone should enjoy it for themselves. Yeah. But I talked about a couple of the examples in the program and mm-hmm. How when we focus our mindset, it actually really does change our behavior. And she actually came off practice the next day or two. Completely focused on different things. Like I, you know, based on things that were in her control, right? Or that went, wow. So I am, even though she didn't do the full step herself, just having the benefit of your program, seeing what was potentially gonna be resonate with her doing a quick, a quick view of it with her. Yeah. She just from that benefited. And is now coming two or three practices in a row saying, this went well, this went well. Like, and mm-hmm. Even when she slips, I'm like, okay, but what is the evidence of the. Other things that, that are going well, that are in your control. All of that stuff. Like people miss shots. That's okay. Did you get back up? Did you keep defending hard, all of those things that are in your control. And she'll be like, oh yeah, yeah, I did. You know. Yeah, I love that. And I mean, your approach, if you're like, well, it's a different, this is great. Like the whole, everything you're saying is like, you have tools, your daughters have tools, but also you have the tools as a parent to be able to help them navigate this. Mm-hmm. And, and you're just as much a part of things. So, yeah. That's really great. Okay. I do see a question in q and a. Let's see. Is it better to, this is maybe a little bit of an offshoot, so, this might be a question for me versus you while I'm reading this. Kimberly, the next question I'm gonna ask is about live. Did you guys activate any of your live support, live coaching, tech coach on call? Any of that stuff? Not, not yet. Okay. I'm kind of saving it for a special moment. Yeah, that's okay. Feel really ready for it and need it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay. The question is, and maybe you have some insight on this, Kimberly. Sure. Is it better to play up and be benched or is it, or to play your age and be the best on the team? Being 13 years old, nine games in, benched on varsity took a toll on my daughter's perception of her skill. Okay. This is a great question. I'm gonna answer it from my perspective and then Kimberly, if you have, because. Your kids have played all the sports and I'm sure you've been in this situation. So from a perspective of a coach, it kind of depends on the player, but I've been in this situation where I've pulled, freshmen, I've had freshmen on varsity and or sophomores on varsity, and I actually sometimes even give them the opportunity to choose. And I say, you are, your skills are good enough to be on this team, and we want you a part of this team. However, the playing time on this team is very unequal. Like when it comes to varsity athletics and, the level that we play, we're very clear with everybody that playing time is not equal. And especially as a freshman, you likely will not. See a whole lot of playing time, but I'm very clear what your role will be on this team would be to be a backup outside hitter or whatever it is. And you're gonna get mm-hmm. Really quality reps in practice, you're gonna be pushed, you're gonna improve. But in a game-like situation, you probably will not see the floor very much your freshman year. But what we see for you in the future is like you're, you know, by the time you're a sophomore, a junior or senior, we see you developing into a starting role. So I tell them and I say, which one. Would you prefer? Most time they choose varsity,'cause they're like, I wanna be around other players who are pushing me. But that's, in high school, like in club there might be a little bit of a different story because the season is longer, you're paying a lot more. It's really important that you do get game-like reps because that's really where you get to practice your skills under pressure and things like that. So, I hate to answer this question with a, it depends, but it also depends on what your goals are. For your daughter, what her goals are like if she wants to continue to like get better and be, you know, elite, I suppose is the word that is coming to mind. Mm-hmm. Then she does need to be on teams that are gonna push her, and help her get better. And that might mean that there's limited playing time. That being said, we also need to have her on teams where she's developing her leadership and getting game like reps. So it might be a combination of both of those things, depending on the season. So Kimberly, do you have any experience in this area? Yes, I do. Okay. I don't necessarily, I don't feel like my answer is an end all and be all of what's best for every athlete and,'cause I can't even necessarily answer what. Has been best on our end.'cause you only ever see one side of your decision anyway. Yeah. And I always try to kinda let go of that too. Like my youngest even, you know, we decided not to send her, she's not right on the border, a cutoff date for kindergarten, right? Mm-hmm. So when she was way younger, we made a decision there and I'm like, you can't look back. You just, you know. Yeah. That's, I think I'm ha I'm happy with the decision we made, but. You'll never know the other side of it, so don't worry about it over once you've made your decision. I would say let go of it regardless of what it is. I would say most coaches I've talked to kind of resonate with what you've said coach free of, like, we might give a choice, but it really does depend on knowing your athlete, knowing the scenario. Like are there other places where they can get those game wraps? Are there other, you know. Skill sessions where they can get the experience they need one way or the other. Right. So if you stay on the lower league, is there a way to get, you know, reps or training in? I actually think sometimes we overestimate how much I think the team sport, the team practices are important, but the things you work on, if you're an elite athlete, the things you work on outside of practice, both your mental game, your, skill sessions, whether that be in your driveway or your backyard or with private coach, like those things matter as well. So I really think it depends. From example, my older daughter. I know that she would, she just always wants to play with the best, right? Mm-hmm. Like that is what she thrives in. She's always looking to challenge herself that way. My younger one is actually one that keeps having the opportunity, right? She keeps getting asked, do those things, and it's, but it's, Causing her like emotional mm-hmm. Challenges, feeling inadequate to do that. So for her, even one year we decided to push her to actually a few years to push her up and I feel like. For her, like that actually kept adding to the negative mental, like the mental drag for her. So this year we decided to give her a year break from that. So she could have played on the top team instead of the second tier team, but she wasn't. It would've been a playing time difference, and so we let her make that decision this year. Mm-hmm. Next year we may push her again. So your answer can even change. I feel like obviously freshmen playing varsity, that's a one year situation. Yeah, that's the thing. But in other situations, like your answer can kind of change season to season or year to year based on like where they're at with different aspects of their game and different opportunities surrounding that part of the decision. That makes sense. I agree. Yeah, I think that's great perspective. And then you, Denise added some context. She made 15 elite in club season will start November. I'm afraid she's gonna get benched. That's why I'm looking for an edge for her not to get benched in club and yeah. So yeah, the edge, obviously that comes through mental training, but it also comes through like her physical work and what she's doing outside. And it's not actually the worst thing to get benched. It's a great opportunity to like, work through and. I don't know, some athletes actually like being kind of the underdog and having to like fight for it. And, there's a lot of skill that is developed there. The other perspective. Mm-hmm. And sometimes you can't decide this when it comes to high school sports'cause the coaches are the coaches, but where is she gonna get the best coaching and the best training? So, and that's, yes. And it might be. So you really just have to look at like, who is she getting training from, and what's the best environment for her? So that's a really good point.'cause my youngest this year before fully letting her make the decision, there was a new coach coming in. And so we said, before we gave the club an answer, we were like, we need to see him in action. Because if it was gonna be a bad situation for her mental game in particular, then mm-hmm We were gonna very strongly encourage her to make a different decision than what she ended up making. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. Okay. Let's see. Great. Thank you for your perspective. It's also great to hear other parents who have like been in that situation. So, just a, a couple more questions. About EMG, you've already mentioned a few things that you really enjoyed about, like the program mm-hmm. And what your girls have been learning. But do you have like a favorite part of the program or something that stands out to you as like that is really impactful or really helpful? Honestly, so much of it has been great. Mm-hmm. If I had to pull out like one or two, I would think some of it, just what it's changed in my language with her and my behavior with her and having some of your catchphrase, little mantras like you kinda, yeah. Give the background, but then we distill it down to something, you know, simple and memorable. So for example, like you're thing of there, you know, there's four roles and I say that to parents on the side. Good for you. I'm like, there's four roles. You're the parent, your job, you know, we're not the reps, we're not the coach. The not the coach thing is the hard part I think for, yeah, for a lot of us.'cause we're just, we wanna help and you feel like. They may maybe don't get personalized attention in certain areas where you're like, let me help you. Mm-hmm. See what you can improve. Yeah. But so changing my language and actually, which has mostly been reducing my language down to very much the basics, letting her lead. So I would say a lot of it, how it's changed me and then I like just in general how it's like we're slowly peeling the onion of a set of tools mm-hmm. That she can use and put to practice. And when we do the activities and it's like front of mind for her, they apply it like immediately. I do love the intentions and the evidence, like having to look for evidence for your intentions in the 3, 2, 1, brave. Is amazing. I know a lot of kids like the snapback routine. I did kind of a variation with that'cause one of my daughter's big things that helped me and know that she had, she was feeling struggling with this, like being challenged to always play elite, always play up. Mm-hmm. Was every game, I don't care what game we go to her one and only question to me is how hard is this top team gonna be like, oh, interesting. She wanted to know details about the other team every game before every game. And I was always doing the wrong thing, which is like answering her with facts. Mm-hmm. But also then trying to say, but it doesn't matter, blah, blah, blah, or whatever. Yeah. Or delete. And I realized that I needed to pivot off of really answering her. With that question and like dropping the information about the other team and instead talking with her about, well, there's a lot of things outside of our control. Mm-hmm. Anytime we step onto a field, anytime we step onto a practice or a game. But how do you wanna, so I did this activity where I said, how do you wanna feel when you step on that field? So it's kind of a variation of your snapback because Yeah, her big issue was getting started even getting to the field, like her nerves building up. So what, how do you wanna feel when you step on that field and what's one thing in your control? And so she kind of created her own like variation of the snapback that Yeah. Was a combination of words from that feeling she wanted to have and something she could control to kind of get there. So that has worked too. But I never would've even thought to do that without this program. Like I think you'll be amazed at how much it's just, it's sort of is like a catalyst for you building up more even around it than what it initially seeds you with. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so great. I love that. Yeah. I, I hope, those that are listening, okay. This is actually like a roadmap even, you know, just tools, things that you can like, be applying. So that's really great. Okay. Well, Kimberly, I did wanna mention, because I'm gonna let everybody know on the call during that, everyone that's here during our fall enrollment special, we decided to. Offer lifetime live coaching and support. So it's actually good. I mean, you haven't activated yours yet. So typically we give three months for free and then it's a$79 charge. But when those of us that are on the call here with us today join, we've decided to open that back up for, these people and also for you. So as a thank you for. Sharing. So if you wanna get your girls into the lifetime, or into lifes coaching and support, so that's coach on-call, texting, they can come to the calls, two times a month. All of that, you have access to our parent coaches. Yeah, we'll get you involved in that. And then anyone else on the call be joining EMG. We're gonna apply the lifetime live coaching, so, oh, thank you. Yes, of course. And for those that are like, well, what is live coaching? I mentioned it quickly, but, coach Saylor and I are the athlete coaches in the program. So we check in with athletes, once a week via text. We just give them a little mental training nugget and then we ask'em a question. It's either. You got anything coming up? Where are you at in EMG if you're currently in it, things like that. And they can also text back on that number anytime if they have any questions for us. And we respond back within 24 hours. And it's us. It's really Coach Saylor and I, it's not like a bot or anything. And some athletes really like it because they're like. It's just a lower barrier to getting just some quick advice. And then the live calls, we do those two times a month. First call is like a mindset thing. We split it by age, and then we do q and a. And then the second one is a guest speaker. So we bring in college athletes and Olympic athletes. We actually, just this past one, had two college basketball players come in and just talk about their experience. And, athletes asked a lot of great questions about like, what it's really like playing at that level and all of that. So it's a cool way for them to connect with each other and just with, other guests that are pouring into them. So, all right. There's one other thing I forgot to mention that I love about the program, which is that a lot of the activities direct the athletes to make a comment inside the portal. Mm-hmm. And the reason I love that is even if they initially don't feel brave enough to do it, they will at least read. Initially the comments of the other athletes doing it, and that builds a sense of community and like they're not alone in these feelings. Or like giving someone, like, getting a spark of an idea of something that will help them from something that's helped someone else. So I, I really like that about the program as well. Oh, I'm glad you mentioned that because I love reading their comments in the portals portal too. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and you're right, it is, it's kind of nice to be able to scroll and be like, oh, okay, here's what other people like did for their reset word and just like get ideas. So that's great. Okay. Those of you that are, are on the call, Christina dropped the link to grab the discount and the lifetime live coaching, so make sure you. Grab that link, copy it, put it in your browser or something like that so that you have it, to be able to apply the lifetime life support. Okay. Well thank you Kimberly. Yeah, this was great. I'm so glad that I got to, pepper you one-on-one with all these questions. So, and I just really appreciate you sharing so honestly, with our community so that those that are considering or just can see what it's really like. So thank you again. Honored to do it. Thank you. Good luck to all you.