Welcome athletes and parents to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Bree, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'm excited that you're here. This is a fun and different episode because it's for athletes, parents. You can also definitely listen, but I actually giving you a behind the scenes look at one of our recent Level Up live support. Group calls. So I get on live with athletes inside our program called The Elite Mental Game two times a month. And one of the calls we do a little mindset tip for the week, and then athletes are just asking questions. And this Level Up call I thought had amazing questions from athletes that I think other athletes need to hear. So we talked about injury and comparison. Coach feedback when you have a toxic coach, how to navigate that. How to deal with negative teammates and the passive aggressive things that they do. How to stay calm under pressure, fear of other people's opinions. Try out anxiety, fear of mistakes, some parent feedback that an athlete didn't like and how to deal with that. And so there were just really great questions in this call. And athletes that are listening, I wanted to just have you listen to what these answers are. So I'm on this call. Same with Coach Saylor and Coach Rachel. And we're just giving feedback and giving athletes real actionable tips and tools to be able to use moving forward. So. I hope that it's helpful. Now, before I let you listen to the replay, I do wanna give a shout out to a parent who is in our community. So this is a parent of an athlete inside the elite mental game, which is of course our self-paced mental training program for girl athletes we also include live coaching. In the program, hence the Love, love live call. But anyways, Deanna is the mom's name. She said, my daughter, who just began the elite mental game, attended the Love, love, live, support Zoom for middle school on Sunday evening. She loved it and I listened to the podcast version afterwards and was almost in tears. Listening to all the girls' questions and how the coaches were so empathetic and empowering with their answers. My daughter asked two questions and the support she received is really amazing. So, that's what you get to hear in this episode is. They level up group coaching call and you get to hear other athletes who are asking questions and how we answered those questions. Now, if you're interested in the elite mental game to get this kind of support for yourself, if you're listening as an athlete or for your athlete, if you're listening as a parent, go to train her game.com. That is our free training where we break down our method and also talk about the elite mental game and give you a little discount. So that's at trainhergame.com. All right. Without further ado, enjoy the Level Up Live support call. This one is with high schoolers, so we do a high school call and we also do a middle school and younger call. So, you get to listen to the high school questions. Enjoy. I'm Coach Bree. We have Coach Sailor on the call as well. So those of you that have been getting texts from Sailor, you now see her real face right here. We've got Coach Rachel on the call as well. So Rachel is an athlete coach and she's a parent coach. So she gets to join us today. Alright, we're gonna kick off this call like we normally do. Go ahead and open up your chat and I want you just to give me a little update. How's it going? We're gonna put a win in the chat. What is something that has been going well lately? Something you're proud of, a win that you've had? Go ahead and drop that into the chat and then we'll get going with today. We have a little quick mindset tip and then we had some pre-submitted questions and then we'll answer any questions that come up on the call. So drop those in. All right, everybody. I got a quick tip for you. Your quick tip for today is about comparison, and this is actually. Because of a pre-submitted question around like coming back from an injury. And it got me thinking around how it's really hard. Yes, there's comparison when we see other athletes who play our sport and we're like, oh my gosh, why does she always get all the things and why is she so good? And you start to get down on yourself. But then there's also the comparison. Of comparing the athlete that you were now to where you were before, especially if you're coming back from injury or you had something major happen in your athletic career and you're like, I'm not as good as I was before, is like the thought that we get stuck in. So I wanna like combat this comparison trap from both of those sides today. All right. If you, okay, this is, I have a little story, but if you have a notebook or a journal or something like that, you can drop some notes down. Okay. This, I forgot I put this in here, but I literally just did it. Okay. We're gonna talk about running your own rates, literally. Okay. This is me in eighth grade and I know right. I haven't aged today. Okay. But in eighth grade I decided I would go out for the track team. I'm not sure why. It's not really my jam, but I did, and I was running, I was told that I needed to run the 200. Okay, so 200 meters, technically a sprint. And I was like, I don't really wanna do that. I'm more of like a jumper, but whatever. So I get to the, to where we were running, start the race, and I go and all of a sudden I'm running against 10 other or eight other girls. I think that's, there's eight lanes. And I was like, wow, I'm actually running really fast. Like I'm in the lead right now. And so I was like, dusting these girls. I was running really fast. I was going around the corner and I'm like, dang, like nobody else is around me. Maybe I actually am pretty good at this. And I could see the finish line, but then all of a sudden I was like, I wonder like how far ahead I am of people. So I looked over my shoulder to my left to look at like where everybody else was. And as soon as I did that, I started like. Swerving to the other lane. I tried to regain, like the balance that I lost ended up not being able to do that. I fell straight on my butt right in the middle of the race and everybody else just ran past me. And I got up and did my best to jog to the finish lane in last place. Okay. And so this is just my always what I go back to you on this reminder that, hey, if I would've not done that, like if I wouldn't have just taken that moment to look over my shoulder and look at what's, what is that person doing over there? I would've won the race and it would've been fine. Okay. All's good. Woo woo. Okay. But no, I decided that I was gonna look over my shoulder and see what was going on. Okay? And that was my downfall. And we. Do the same thing as athletes, right? We get, so we're doing our best, we're improving, and then all of a sudden we look and be like, oh my gosh, she's getting way better. And I, you can go from like feeling like you're making progress to feeling like absolute crap because you're like, oh, you're just comparing. And so we're gonna run our own race and we can use comparison to actually help us. Okay. You can actually see what somebody else is doing and be inspired by it and be like, okay, yeah, without actually falling and wiping out. All right, so your first tip around this, and you can write this down if you're getting stuck in this comparison trap, is shifting from Why am I not like her? Okay? Those of you that are coming back from an injury, this could be, why am I not like her? If we're comparing to somebody else on our team or a different team or something like that, or another athlete that you look to, or it could be who you were before. Okay, so you could be asking yourself like, why am I not like her? Like the pre-injury her? Why am I not her anymore? Okay. Shifting from that to what can I learn from her? And just asking that question to yourself, what can I learn from her? Because maybe you do see an athlete, another girl that's ting, she's just feels like she is always winning. Like she's always getting the accolades, she is always doing well. She never makes mistakes, whatever, which is everyone does. So that's actually just a lie that our brain tells us. But what can I learn from her? What is she doing? Okay? Is she like putting in extra work? Success Leaves some clues. So maybe there are some things that this person is doing that you can learn from. Okay? So that's just one thing. If it's helpful, if it's not helpful, leave it behind. Okay? This other one, there's three things, okay? This is number two, focus on micro wins. This is really where it's at. And those of you that are in EMG to the point where you're doing your three, two un brave, this is what you do every single time you do three, two, and brave. Okay. So asking yourself, how was I better than yesterday? Yesterday? Me, not five years ago. Me, not beyond that. Like just yesterday. Okay. We can't, it does this no good to compare who we were several years ago because you're a different athlete. Okay. It is just, it is. We're not gonna say like, I'm a better or a worse athlete. You're just, it's different. Eight time does that. Okay. But we're just gonna compare where we are right now in this little season. So how was I better than yesterday? And what's one small win for today? Okay. No matter how bad you think your practice or training session was, you can always find one small thing to focus on and that gives you hope for the next practice. Okay? Okay. So that's number two. So number one, backing up is shifting from why am I not like her? To, what can I learn from her? Another one I love is if she can do it, it's proof I can too. Okay. And then the last one, anchor in the right now. So your confidence is highest, when you're focused on right now, when you're looking at the past, you're worried about the future. That's where we get into issues. Okay. Like when I was running my race, I was looking at the future and I was like, Hey, how? I was also looking at the past. I was not like just doing what I was supposed to do, which is just run. Okay? And so anchor in the, right now, what's my goal for this practice, right? How do I wanna feel? I know that seems a little bit like a little bit into the future, but how do I wanna feel walking off the court, the field today? Okay, after this practice, how do I wanna feel and what am I gonna do to make sure that happens? And maybe that is just give a hundred percent do me. Okay? That's what we need to do is just anchor right now. All right? Okay. The last little thing, this is like your mini challenge. You already did number one. Okay. One thing you're proud of lately, you already did that. Okay? So I want you to write down the next two right now in your journals, your notebooks, one thing that you're working on, because comparison is, it's probably telling that you do wanna get better at something, and that's okay. Okay? I am not saying that you need to stop working or anything like that, but what is something that you are working on? Oh, I have a typo here. What is one thing that someone else did well that you admire? So I want you to write down these last two. So one thing you're working on. One thing someone else did well that you admire. The reason for question three, one thing someone else did well that you admire. We wanna be the type of teammates and the type of, I'll say girl athletes. I know there's some boys that are in our program too. Sometimes you notice like there's mean girl drama, mean girl vibes and they're we're like, almost like when somebody does something, other people wanna tear them down. I don't know if you've ever noticed that. Okay, that's not who we are. And so making sure that you admire looking at other people and respecting their success and cheering other people on because the more you cheer other people on when they're successful, the more you are going to get that back. And the more you create that really good environment,'cause no one likes to be on a team where people are like tearing each other down. That's the worst. It's literally the worst. You could have the best, most talented team and then if you've got these mean girls and people are tearing each other down and all it's, it just makes for a terrible experience. So you start that. Okay. And just admiring what other people are doing. The next step of this is tell them, write a little note. Send'em a text and say, I love that you have been working so hard to practice that. It shows. Okay. I'll tell you. When you start to be that athlete that does that to other people like you, you actually start to feel a lot better. You're gonna get that back from other people. You're gonna play better. It's just givers game. You get what you put out. We're gonna get into some q and a let's answer this in the main group before we switch. All right. Sailor, you wanna take the first part? Yeah. Okay. So first part of the ques this question is, I recently just returned from injury and feel that I'm not my old self. I feel I missed a lot of growth and development that my team had for the last month. What can I do? Yeah. This is super tough to be out from injury for that long and it feels like you are miles and miles behind other people. Honestly, the tip that you gave today, Brie, like nailed it, of just like running your own race and really trusting the process. I think coming back from injuries, it's so important to just like really dial in on the micro winds that we talked about and also just like the small things that you can do in your control to help get you back to where you want to be. But comparing yourself to other people and your old team or your old self is going to do you no good and actually getting better and focusing on the present moment. So I think like stacking those small wins every day, seeing, okay, how am I better than I was yesterday? Did I do the best that I could? Did I get, did I give it my best effort? Like having those check-ins is going to be really key. Another like activity that I really like to do, especially when you're comparing yourself to your old self, is writing a breakup letter to your past self. And it seems like really silly and really goofy, but sometimes we just gotta break up with our past self, like we've become a new version of ourselves and we need to fall in love with who we are becoming and just solely focus on this next chapter. So if you need to as well, write a breakup letter, right? Tell that past self how they're not serving you, right? How you need to move on, how you are going to now work on your future self. Yeah. So I think that would be like my quick tips for this one. And giving yourself grace, like sometimes your role is going to change in injury. Being able to see how you can still contribute, even if you're not able to be on the court field, be competing, still being able to show up for yourself and for your team. Yeah, I think that's great. Honestly, I think that players coming back from an injury are often stronger, more resilient, better players and those who have never dealt with an injury before. So looking at it like that, and I know Coach Rachel has some experience with that too. Her, especially with her daughter. Okay. And probably with yourself, but Rachel, any tips on this second part of this? Juan, great to see you all. Yeah. So this question, my coach gave me feedback today, but I look scared on the court. What can I do differently? First of all, I wanna say that this is so common, and not only has this, the person that asked this question felt this, but I've felt this. I bet Coach Bree has felt this. I bet Coach Saylor has felt this, and probably every single one of you at some point in your sports career has felt overwhelmed or scared by a certain situation that you're in. Okay? So really important to zoom out of that situation and focus. On things that you can control in that moment. Okay, really important. All of this, the things that we're talking today actually do relate to each other. So really important to focus on the things that you can control and as most of the things that you can control are really your attitude, your effort, your coachability, and your thoughts. You can't control your teammate's behavior. You can't control how much playing time you get. You can't control the fans or the refs or the judges. And so really doing your best in those moments to focus on the things that you can control and make sure that you are showing up with the best. Hard, the best version and the hardest working version of yourself is the way that you are going to be able to really communicate on the court or the field or the ice in that moment. So that's a really important piece of just remembering to focus on the things that you can control. A couple of other things that you can also do to support just not feeling overwhelmed in that moment is the micro wins like Coach Brie was saying, and just really leaning into your strengths. So what are your strengths in that moment or that competition or that big game? And that's a time to really feel comfortable in. Your training and in the type of athlete that you are, and just remembering that you've worked really hard for the opportunity to play in this moment. And so just knowing that your body is strong and capable and that you have put in the work to be here. And then lastly, it's really remembering that confidence is not you feeling happy a hundred percent of the time. Okay? You can feel overwhelmed and you can feel disappointed, and you can feel a little bit, a little bit scared. You can't be brave unless you feel a little bit scared. So that's why I say a little bit, but it's really remembering that confidence is inside of you and it's you trusting that you are gonna get through this moment no matter what happens. And no matter, even if you don't know the exact things that you have to do in that moment, just trusting that you are smart and you are dedicated in your sport and that you are gonna get through it. Coach Breyer, coach Taylor, anything to add? I don't, I think that was all really good. My only thought was like maybe you could ask your coach, like what specifically they're seeing. But you probably already know if there's like some specifics, but you probably are aware. You're like, I'm hesitating or whatever it is. Yeah. I think what Rachel said is great control. We control. Yeah. One thing I would maybe add is almost like flipping it of you brainstorming and coming up with what would it look like to be brave on the court? What would it look like to feel unstoppable and strong and like coming up with those checkpoints for you to check in and be able to focus on, okay, like I wanna show up brave today. Here's my like blueprint for how to do that.'cause I want you to focus on how you do want to show up, not how you don't wanna show up, right? Instead of trying to play and not be scared. How can you play and be brave? So coming up with what those things actually look like. Yeah. Yeah. That's solid. Very good. And 3, 2, 1 brave would really be helpful for this. So like just setting your intention before practice and visualizing it and yeah. So if you haven't already done phase two, like coming back from your injury and heading into your sport, like I would definitely do that. I'd probably redo it if you've already done it, like pre-injury, because it's gonna look different now that you can compete again. Avery ignoring negative teammates. Try and change their mindset. Yeah, we, I think sometimes we waste so much time trying to change other people's attitudes and like you can't, and it's really hard to not focus on it. Go ahead and put your questions in the chat girls, but I did a lesson or a like a live training with a softball team last week that was local. They were doing some of our trainings and they just happened to be local and I was like, oh, I'm free tonight. I stopped by a practice and I ended up doing like a lesson with them live and which was really cool. And so there's all girls on the team and. 11 of them were locked in. They had their journals, they were taking notes. They were like on the edge of their seat listening to me. They were like doing the visualizations. They were doing all of it. Okay. And there's this one girl that wouldn't do anything. She had her notebook out. She wouldn't write anything down. She just sta her out into the dugout or she was in dugout. She sta out into the field visualization. She just sat there with her eyes open, just like I could care less to even be here. Look, and I'll tell you right now, I had to work so hard to not focus on her. I wanted to be like, Hey, you're like selling yourself short. Do you know the best athletes do this? And I just wanted to get her engaged. And I'm like, you know what? I need to release this. Maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe there could be a million things going on. I do not know this girl. Okay, I gotta release that. And. I wanna focus on the other 11 that are literally eating this up and getting better. Okay. So sometimes we have to do that as our teammates too. It's so easy to focus on like the negative person or the person who's trying to spread the stuff. Like you have to work so hard and open your eyes to, oh, there's all these other people who aren't doing that. Okay, let's see. Sailor, you wanna take. Brits. Yes, I will take Brits. Okay. How can I feel more calm in the moment when I'm playing? Yeah. Britt, this is a great question. I would identify some of the things in the past that have made you feel calm before, which I don't know if you're in a place to come off mute or if you wanna put in anything in the chat, but I would be curious like what has helped you play calmly in the past? Bri, you can come off mute if you want, if you're in a place where you can, I should put it in the chat. Okay. Yeah, taking deep breaths or acting like myself and being fun when I play. Okay. So those are like the three things that ground you and help you stay calm. I don't want you to get away from those. You don't need to like reinvent the wheel and. Do anything else. So taking some deep breaths as soon as maybe you start feeling your heart pound a little bit, right? Whatever it is that makes you feel nervous or makes you not feel calm, like ground yourself with your breath, and then yeah, showing up like yourself. You don't need to be anybody else. You have it in you, right? Like your confidence comes from you and then incorporating some sort of fun as well. And there's lots of different ways to do that. We talked a little bit about it in the middle school call as well, like having these like mini games in your competition, right? Singing, I don't know. We're talking to a cross country player at our last call and it was like, can you sing a song in your head? What are those little things? Can you pretend that you're being chased by like a lion and you're trying to like get to the finish line? So adding in some sort of fun, maybe it's connecting with teammates and coming up with secret handshakes with them, right? So I would not get away from those things. Right. And then also coming up ahead of time, what does it look like for you to play calmly? Coming up with those characteristics, those qualities, those kind of like checkpoints for yourself? What does your body language look like? What kind of self-talk do you have? How do you show up for your teammates? How do you play? Right? So those are the things that I would really key in on to ground yourself right now. Yeah, I think that's good. And you're not gonna feel like my college coach you to say, oh gosh, what was it? Oh, you should feel like, this might sound really weird, Brit. Okay, so sorry if it does. But yawning and feeling like you kinda have to go to the bathroom, like pee is like a, it's like good place to be. And what she meant by that was that you don't wanna be like. All the way calm, and you have to know your hype number. Okay. But if you are about to fall asleep and you're like that calm, you probably aren't gonna play your best. There should be a little bit of urgency where you feel like, all right, I'm here. Like my body's preparing me to play. So it's okay if you don't feel like a hundred percent calm, but yes, there is a point where you're like overboard. So know where you need to be on your high, your scale of one to 10. Okay? I'll take Avery's and then we'll go. Rachel will just pop around. So Rachel will go Stella and then Sailor Ruby. Yeah. And then I'll come back to me. Okay. All right. How can I try to not let the fear of others' opinions get in the way of my progress? Okay. I love this because there's always people who are always having their opinions probably. So first thing. Whose opinion actually matters. If you're familiar with Brene Brown, she has an activity that I always go back to, like in my head, when I start to go down this route of what other people are thinking. And honestly, if you're doing anything in your life, you're gonna have people who are talking. So if you don't want anyone to ever have an opinion about you, then you need to stay in your room and close your door and like never live. Okay? That's not what we're doing in this life. And you're not doing that as an athlete, okay? So just accept that if you're out doing things, you're playing a sport, like you're performing, you're like, you're gonna, people are just gonna talk. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it's just gonna, it's gonna happen. But whose voice are you listening to? Andrene Brown has this little thing where it's like you get a two by two square and literally you, I did this one time where you just write it down. And you're gonna, you can only fit a few names in there. So in your square you're gonna put like the names that actually matter. And so for me, at that time in my life, it was like my husband, my mom. I think that was it. Oh, my coaches like my assistant coach.'cause this was like in a volleyball context. And I was like, then that's it. Anybody else that has an opinion, like I can run it through the filters of do I care? Does this person have the best interest? Do they know about me? Like, you can run it through that. And most of the time if the answer is no to any of those questions, then you don't need to worry about it. So what voice are you listening to and what, who is that for you? Like even write'em down, replacing what will they think with what do I think? Like why do I play? Did I play how I wanted to show up? Did I give effort today? Did I get better than I was yesterday? Like. Those are the questions that you need to be answering yourself versus what do they think of me? I wonder what they're saying about me because honestly it's none of your business anyways. Okay? So you are wasting time trying to figure that out and then figure out like why do you play? You're not here to like impress or you're not here to win over people's opinions or whatever. Like why do you play? Do you play? Because it's your passion. It connects you to a purpose. You love it. It's fun. Like why are you doing what you're doing? And that can help you tune out the noise a little bit as well. Oh, that's what I got. Sailor or Rachel, you have anything else? Dad, think that's good? yeah. Good question, Avery. Yeah? Okay. Rachel? Did I say Rachel? Ella? I was just, I'll hit send so that this is here, but then I'll also answer this. This is so common, so I am glad Stella brought this up because there are a lot of high school tryouts that are just coming up in the month of August, and I think sometimes it's easy to look at something that's coming up in your life and start to create anxiety in your mind about it because it's unknown to you. So I challenge you to really not wrap too much mental energy into those things, because if you've been putting the work in out of the season, like if you're on a club team or you've gone to camps or you've been working hard, then you are. Game knowledge is improving and also your skills are improving. So those are something to lean into knowing that you're already doing the hard work. But also the anxiety that we feel sometimes comes from like past mistakes or like future expectations. So when you get to the trial, it's really staying present in the moment and just doing the best that you can to bring out your strengths, lean into your strengths, lean into the things that you are really strong at, and that, and that you can do really well. And being able to come back after mistakes or come back to show like a really good attitude. Coaches are watching all of these little things, right? And Coach Bree is a high school coach, but I'm sure that Coach Bree would agree that between. Two players who are of equal talent. If one of'em is a really coachable player and like the hardest working player on the court, she's gonna see that in the tryout. And so just committing to yourself to be like, no matter what, the hardest working player on the court coaches are gonna see that your effort and your attitude are in the right place. And in addition to all the other things that I mentioned about staying in the present moment and recovering from mistakes, like just all of that comes down to just focusing on what you can control. So don't worry too much. Don't spend too much time worrying about this next two weeks, especially if you've put the work in when you get there. This is just another opportunity for you to play your game. You're gonna be fine. Yeah, I love that. And I think you nailed it. Okay. Ruby, when other teammates always have something negative to say, even in my wins, how can I get past that and not take it to heart all the time? Yeah. Ruby, I'm sorry that this is happening. It sucks to have some negative teammates and that can like really bring the vibe down. And it's really tough because what your teammates say do their attitudes, their actions is out of your control. So you need to refocus on what is in your control in this situation, which I don't know if all of your teammates are being negative. Right? That is super tough and that's when maybe you have conversations with them. Right? And it would be, it's tough to do that, but you can stand up for yourself, right? And say, Hey, we gotta cut this out right now. This isn't helping. Anybody. Sometimes we have to imagine we have a bubble or a barrier over ourselves, right? You get to decide what's coming into your bubble, what you are actually going to listen to and take to heart as well. Everything else can bounce off that bubble, right? All of the negative things that they say, don't let it come into your bubble. Let it bounce off right in one ear, out the other. But if you have a few like. Positive teammates or teammates that you can trust. I would really lean on those people. Surround yourself with them. And I'm not saying exclude all of your other teammates, right? But that's going to be helpful for you in those moments. And maybe those are the people who you share your wins with, right? And that you uplift as well. So refocus on what is in your control, and then what Bree was saying too, you decide whose opinions actually matter, right? It sounds like these teammates are bringing you down again, that you can let their talk to you and their attitudes bounce off your bubble. Like you decide whose opinions actually matter of like how you're playing. It's probably like you, maybe your coach, right? Who you wanna listen to and like your parents. Or maybe you have like a. Friend who's not on the same team as you, but you guys share the same sport, right? Coming up with, okay, whose opinions actually matter and how can I surround myself with those people? And then the last thing I would add too is potentially doing something like what we just did in the activity today. Like maybe you start writing notes and noticing things to these teammates of, Hey, I'm super proud of the way that you showed up today. I like, notice how much work you're putting in and just see what kind of ripple effect that you can have. And if that would be helpful and worth your time if it's not right. Like refocus on what you can control and protect yourself in this situation. Yeah, this is tough. Good question. Ruby, do you get Coach Rachel or Coach Brie, anything? To add. I have one thing to add. Sometimes I suggest to athletes when we're working on one-on-one and they're facing a similar situation to use an opposite strategy. Maybe this particular player isn't getting any confidence or like support at home. Maybe they have some issues that really they're taking out on the people that they're playing with. Maybe there's a lot of pressure from them, from their parents or something like, we don't know. But I always encourage my athletes to give a compliment. Like Coach Sailor saying You it, you can write it on a note, but it could even be you walking up afterwards. And I know this is incredibly difficult because it's like their negative and it's like the opposite of what you wanna do, but I kid you not a compliment can change someone's life. And it's free. It doesn't cost anything. And so if you walked up, you don't have to make a big show about it, right? Everyone doesn't have to see you doing it, but you break, you walk up to that person and you say, gosh, I'm really impressed with the way that you're playing defense today. Or, wow, like your shot is awesome. It really looks like you've been working really hard. That might mean more to that player than you could ever imagine. And it costs you nothing to do it. So I just, and the change, the shift in them might be almost immediate, where like you might see them like, oh my gosh, open up or relax. So sometimes just like flipping something around and doing a totally different mindset with someone else can really change their life. Yeah. I love that you added that. It's this the, a similar phenomenon that happens when you know, you recognize or you admire something and somebody else just saying it to'em. Like it really does change the vibe. So. It's really hard to do, though. It's hard to do. It'll be feel way better afterwards. You're like, wow, actually that was awesome. Okay, you guys have great questions. We're gonna move through'em pretty quickly so we can get th through them by six 30 my time, at least six 30. How can I help put away the fear I'm making mistakes so I can take more risks in a game? So this is a great question. I asked, do you have a snapback routine yet? But it's totally fine if you don't. It sounds like you're just starting the program, but that really this, when you create a snapback routine, so that's in phase one of EMG, and it's where you, it's like a custom routine, a breath, a reset word, a reset signal. It's very simple. Like honestly, it's one of the most simple things that you could do, but it can make the biggest difference because it gives you confidence to take risks knowing that you have a way to get a real mistake. If you haven't done a lesson, definitely do it. It's like phase one. I think the whole thing takes 30 minutes. It's not very long. There's a few videos to it, but it also helps you realize like. When like common situations that throw you off, like maybe a ref makes a bad call or you make a certain mistake, you get out of the zone and then you start to hesitate and you make more mistakes. Then you're like, dang, now I'm just really not playing well. And so it stops that cycle before it starts, but you have to practice it ahead of time. So it's a breath, you say a reset word. I tell you how to come up with what your reset word is. You need your reset gesture or signal and that just helps you snap out of it a little bit faster. They're ready. And my paper's not ready yet, but maybe yours. That is super helpful.'cause then you can take more risks knowing you have a way to get over it. But also just realizing, I might sound like a brokered record, but you're gonna make mistakes. It's gonna happen, anticipate it. You're gonna actually make more mistakes if you're hesitating because you're actually like, and this is the coach and me talking, you're biomechanically like not doing the movement correctly. You're like the girls that are just trying to make their servant. This is volleyball. Miss their serve like so many times because they're doing something different than what they've done thousands of times before. They're like changing it a little bit and I'm like, you served it. You didn't even make 10 foot line on our side of the net, what happened? But if they were just to go and do their serve, like they've done thousands and thousands of times, they would make their serve. And so just realize that like you actually holding back is causing you to make more mistakes and not play well. So you've gotta risk it in order to get some reward. So anyways, hopefully that's helpful. Snapback routine. Realize like you're gonna make mistakes, take some risks knowing that yeah, it could go either way, but you, in order for you to have some reward, you've gotta, you've gotta take some risks. Yeah. I dunno if anyone, anything else to add? That's a very good question. I'll add something really quick. I always say there's three things you wanna know about mistakes. The first is that mistakes are normal, right? Literally, everybody makes mistakes in sports. Sports are a game of mistakes. The highest competitors are making the same mistakes that you are. Probably. The second thing is that mistakes are necessary. I always ask athletes, do you learn more from making a mistake or doing something Exactly right. You learn more from actually making a mistake, right? So view it as a learning opportunity. And then the last thing is that mistakes don't define you, right? Celia, you are not your mistake. So I want you to separate yourself from those. But mistakes are normal, mistakes are necessary. You are not your mistake. That's all I would add to that. Yeah, I really like that. Okay. Who's next? Coach? Taylor or Rachel? Rachel. Rachel. I think Rachel. And then I'll have Tatum. Okay. Which 1:00 AM I on? Tatum, I lost. I think you're on Avery's. So I lost track. Oh no. You're either volleyball. Yeah. Okay. And then Taylor or Taylor. Taylor. You team, this is about negative teammates or is there another one from Avery? Oh, maybe fear. Fear of others. Get in the way of progress, or did we already answer that one? This one, Avery. Nervous for volleyball this season. Okay. Has changed. Okay. So I would say that this is similar to other things that we've talked about today, just not focusing your energy on one particular person, because knowing that you can protect your own energy and Coach Sailor said, having a bubble and being able to really understand that you can't change somebody else's behavior, but you also don't wanna. Invest a lot of emotional energy into that person. So doing things that you can to not avoid her, but instead finding people that really bring you up and align yourself. Practice pepper, work on, I'm not sure what your volleyball, do things warm up with people who are really positive and who you can get feed off of and get energy from. I think that's really important. The coach is gonna know if you, if there's a really negative player, the coach is probably aware of this already, so it's not your job to change them. It's not your job to talk to the coach about it. Really, your job is just to create and display or put out the best version of yourself that you can. So one thing you can do is just let those worries go. Sometimes I tell athletes to put them in a box, close the box and put them up on the shelf and let it go.'cause it's not your job and it's not your responsibility. So just go out there and focus on yourself and the things that you can control. Stay positive in a high vibe and go crush it. You can do it. Yeah. I think there was this, a second part of that. How do I tell coaches about negative teammates? Or do you Yeah, I think that's specific. And without knowing a lot of the background in it, certainly you don't wanna start a new team with being someone who's going to go in and be telling all these. Maybe things that happened that maybe there's not an appropriate place for. If there is bullying happening or if there is abusive behavior, then those are things that the coach needs to know about. But you also don't wanna create an environment where there's drama on the team. Don't be the one that's creating a bunch of drama either. So I think it just, I think it depends on the situation and if you wanna reach out to one of us, coach Sailor, if there's more specifics to talk about, we certainly can give you more help with that. But I would just go back to, again, doing the best that you can to really focus on your own self and not really trying to direct or change other people's behavior. Yeah, I think that's good. I think, yeah, Avery, there's, if there's like bullying, then that's a different situation. And this is the perfect thing for, to use Coach on call texting for, like Rachel said. Yeah. All right. Finish off with Tatums. Yeah, great question everybody, by the way. Yes. Okay. Tatum says, during team practice, my dad watched and told me I didn't play my best, but I feel like I did play my best, the best that I could and after he said that, I got, after he said that, I got in my head. Yeah. Tatum, I'm really sorry to hear this. That's again, super tough, especially coming from your parent and probably someone you really look up to and admire, like what they say and their feedback. I have a few thoughts about this situation. One is having a conversation with your dad about it, right? If you feel comfortable, we think of like effort as I give, like the gas tank example, right? We use that in EMG as well. Sometimes your tank is a hundred percent full and you can give that a hundred percent and that's what your best looks like for that day. Sometimes it's at 40%. That is still your best for that day and it sounds like you did your best. So that's all that you can ask for in this situation. But maybe explaining to your dad, Hey, my best is sometimes gonna look different every single day. I did the best I could for this day. I felt really good about that. The other thing too is maybe switching, and I don't know exactly what your post practice routine looks like, but maybe you start off by sharing your wins from practice and like the little things that you were proud of and how you felt like practice went that day and you started off. Rather than having a parent start it off, like I think that's super important in your pregame routine is, or post, sorry, post practice routine to be able to reflect on your own first before getting any sort of like outside opinion. So even bringing that up of, hey, after practices, I want to be the first one to reflect. I just wanna like describe how my practice went and think about the things that went well and maybe some things that I'm going to improve on for the next practice. But yeah, like it is in your control to do the best that you can. And it sounds like you did that, so I'm proud of you for that. And it sounds like maybe just tweaking a few things in that post practice or post competition routine. Or even maybe you ask your dad not to watch practices too, right? Like maybe you have to set that boundary of, Hey, I want practices to just be my own thing right now. Yeah. Coaches, would you add anything? I'm super curious what Rachel has to say, just from the parent perspective of, I don't know. Yeah, it's difficult to talk to your parents about this because I know that it can feel like overwhelming and, but I think it is important as Coach Saylor said to just you. Talk, talk to your dad and say, dad, I'm really working hard. And when I hear things like that, it really affects me. And so I'd love to, I'd love to be able to maybe share my goals with you or talk about these in a little bit different way, but I need a little bit of space right now. And I think that your dad's gonna respect that. Your dad's probably never thought about it. And so I think that these are good communications for you to have. And it also shows that you are really mature in the way that you're approaching this. And you, this is your sport. It is your life and it's your sport, and you get to navigate this journey. But also your parents are there for you and that they do a lot of investment in resources for you. But I think it's really good to have open lines of communication if you can. We talked about this on the last call, but you can do this in a way where you start with something positive. Hey Dad, I really appreciate how much that you love and have invested in my sport. And I think that's, it's really important to me. Help me understand what your expectations are at this point in my journey and help me understand if we can set up a few boundaries so that this is a healthy relationship and that this is healthy for me to also do this journey for myself, right? Because it's not your dad's journey, it's yours, but it does take a little bit of thinking before you get to the conversation. I wouldn't go in emotional'cause that can also be really hard, but if you need more help framing this, again, reach out to us. We'll certainly help you through it. Yeah. Yeah, I think those are both good. This is a almost exact question that somebody had in the last call too, so it's a really good question. And on the last call I just had also the athlete reflect a little bit like. Is there, of course you know your own body and your own effort and you should be proud of the things that you're proud of from that practice. And two things can be true at once. Like they could have, somebody else can have a different perspective. I'm gonna ask, if you were to do that whole practice over, is there anything that you would do differently? And it's okay to be like, okay, yeah, I would do this differently. Or maybe you do see a little bit of their perspective too, because there's your perspective. His perspective, and then the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Yeah. It's okay also to be open to feedback, but I think what Rachel said, like the line, the open lines of communication is so important. And I love what say said about maybe you just put some boundaries in place a little bit around like after practice we're gonna start with the good and we're we'll go from there. So yeah. Great questions everybody. I know we've got seasons right around the corner, so use the season Power up by Rachel and text us if you have any other questions because we're here for you. Okay. All right, everyone, have a great week.