Moms, you see the value in what mental training can do for your athlete daughter. You know that confidence in her sport is going to transfer to her life. And honestly, these are life skills and it's so worth the investment. The problem, maybe your partner or spouse isn't quite on board yet, or you have dove in down the rabbit hole of how this can help your athlete daughter. Maybe you've gone to our webinar and you are considering the elite mental game for your athlete, but how do you communicate this to your partner or to your spouse when they haven't done the same thing? So if that is you, then this episode is for you. If you're wondering how to talk to your partner about the value of mental training and how it can help your athlete daughter. I have three ways that you can bring it up to them as well as some resources that I'm going to lay out for you. And if I haven't met you, I'm Coach Bri. I am the host of the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. This podcast is for you whether you are a sports mom, just beginning on your journey with your athlete daughter, or maybe you have a lot of seasons under your belt. This is the place for you to know how to raise a confident, mentally strong girl athlete. And part of that is giving her mental training skills so that she can be confident in her sport and in her life. So we're gonna get into it today, but before I do. I wanna give a quick shout out to a parent inside our community. She sent me this email this week, she said. I wanna let you know that my husband did the lesson on limiting beliefs inside our program, the elite mental game, and I'm blown away by some of the changes that he is making to his own thinking and is sharing that with our girls. It's so incredibly powerful. Thank you again. So this is pretty cool, and I know that we're gonna dive into how to get your partner on board. With mental training inside this episode, but I wanna give you some encouragement that we have a lot of partners going through the Elite Men game. We have moms, we have dads. It's improved, partner relationship because now you're on the same page as your partner when it comes to the mental game and raising your athletes. We also have dads who are having a better relationship with their daughters because now they're not just relying on this. Like, you've gotta be tougher. I know that's totally a stereotype, but it's. Typically what we hear from moms in our community that my husband is just telling her to be more tough and that is not really working. And so it's actually strengthened the relationship and also the relationship between moms and daughters. So. It's pretty cool work that's happening inside our program because it's not just skills for the athlete themselves. There's a whole parent track. There's a whole, resource of content that you go through as a parent to help you know how to best support your athlete. So congratulations to this mom. I just was thrilled to get this, and it really aligns with what we're talking about today. All right. One more thing before we get into it. If you have a second to first of all, subscribe and follow the podcast, that helps us out a lot, to make sure that we get into the ears of as many sports parents as possible, but also helps you so that you don't miss an episode and we can bring on amazing guests and all the things that you need and are looking for in a podcast. And also if you have even just a little bit more time. If you could just share this podcast episode or one that has meant something to you with somebody else, another sports parent, maybe your partner themselves, maybe they can just listen to this. When you are bringing up this conversation, that would also be really helpful. And if you have another second, I know that there's not many of those as sports parents, but if you wanna leave a review, that also would just help us out and honestly. We are just forever grateful for your support of the podcast and the work that we do for girl athletes. So thank you. Thank you in advance. If you have a moment to do any of those things. Okay. Let's get into it. The first way that you can kind of talk to your partner or your spouse about the value of mental training is to position it as an insurance policy. And I know this might sound a little odd, but let me explain. Mental training is like an insurance policy on everything you're already invested. In your daughter's sport, okay, let's be real. You're already investing so much time, so much money, so much energy. You got the club fees, potentially private lessons, gear, travel, weekends like it, it's all adding up. Okay? But if your daughter crumbles under pressure or she gets stuck in her own head, or she loses confidence after one bad game, and then the rest of the weekend is pretty much shot, then why are we even doing all this in the first place? It is never, well, I wouldn't say never, but more often than not, it's not a lack of skill that is holding athletes back. It's what's happening between their ears, right? They are talented, they're putting in the work, they're improving at their game. And then if you're seeing your athlete maybe play pretty good in practice, and then it's a different person or a different athlete in the game, or you know, that they're capable of more, or they're holding back or they're hesitating because they don't wanna make mistakes or they make a mistake and then they spiral. Like all of that is. Mental, that is not something that you're just going to get over by adding in more physical training. And so this actually like training that part of her game is an insurance policy and it also ensures that you are getting an ROIA return on your investment in. Her sport. That doesn't mean like, oh, she's just going to win all of the time and there's just, she's gonna have no more challenges. We can't take that away and she's going to lose, like, it's an important part of why we have our kids in athletics is that they're facing challenging situations. But here's the thing, she will have the skills to navigate them. Because most coaches don't teach these skills, not because they don't think they're important, it's because it's not part of their coaching education. And I had to go back. I've been a coach for 14 years. I had to go back, spend my own time, money and resources to learn how to teach these to, like these skills to my athletes. Most coaches don't do that, and they're not actually required to. And so don't rely on your daughter's coach to teach these skills of confidence in the mental game. You have got to ensure that your daughter has the skills. And so if your partner is like, you know, practical or data minded and wants to make sure something is worth it, this is a really powerful way to frame it, right? Mental training actually maximizes the return. On what you're already doing in her sport. I just saw a TikTok from this mom. I know. It's funny, like it's not meant to be anything probably, but that, but it just reminded me of this concept. This mom was like doing this, TikTok situation, and she was at the baseball field and her kid was, I don't know up to bat, but she had this, like, the text on the screen was, I'm not one of those moms. If we're paying pretty much a mortgage for you to be out here and you're striking out, then I'm pulling, basically, you're, you're out, you're out of this sport. Like, I'm not paying a mortgage for you just to get up there and strike out. Okay. Again, it was supposed to be funny, but it made me think like. Okay, well what are you doing to help them not strike out, aside from just giving them more physical training, like they're learning how to do that in their practice and their coach is taking care of that side of the game. But a lot of reasons, a lot of the, a lot of the time why kids are like choking up there is because they don't have mental skills to be able to handle the pressure of the moment. So I'm like, okay, lady, if you want to actually ensure that they're going to, you know, be successful, I'm not saying that they're gonna like. Hit every ball, but they're gonna be a lot more successful if they know how to manage the moments and manage the pressure of those situations. So there you go. Okay. That's 0.1. Kind of frame it as like, this is basically an insurance policy so that we get the ROI on what we're already investing. Okay. That kind of hits on like the data side of it. Like, okay, this actually makes sense on paper Point number two goes a little bit more into the emotional side of things. Okay. And that is framing it, that this goes well beyond sports. Because it's true mental training. Is more than just performance. It's more than just playing well and succeeding and in all of that. Okay? It's also about who your daughter is becoming, and I would be hard pressed to find a dad or a mom who didn't care about the whole development of their kid, and a girl athlete, and not just an athlete, a girl who can stand up for herself, who can make smart decisions when her parents aren't around, who can walk away from toxic relationships. Who can navigate social situations and stay true to herself in the face of drama, peer pressure, relationship, tricky situations that she's gonna get into. Probably with relationships again, you can't be there all the time, and this kind of helps us see the bigger picture. About this, that like, Hmm. And we know that these skills do transfer beyond her sport. Her sport is just the most tangible way that she can apply them. It's where she gets so much fertile ground to be able to practice, how to get through challenging times, how to stand up for herself when a teammate is being rude, how to stay true to herself when she feels like, Hmm, the rest of the team is doing that. And I know that's not right. So, I'm going to stay true to who I am instead of being like kind of wafting and wavering around what everybody else is doing. Okay. All of those things. Like she gets to practice that in her sport, but they transfer well beyond that. And so framing this as like, this is part of her development as. A person. And I like, as a parent myself, I want as many people as possible on my team who are reinforcing the message that I'm giving my athlete, right? It can't just be me. It can't be me the only one saying, make sure you're making good choices. Make sure that you're standing up for yourself. You know, like if you get into this situation, this is what you should do. Like, and honestly, coming from another source sometimes is even better. So we get to be that person on your team. Like if you are considering the Elite mental game, which is our signature mental training program for girl athletes, like we get to be on your team to kind of reinforce the things that you're probably already, talking to your daughter about and you're already emphasizing in your family. So I, I love it from that perspective, just as a parent. And again, that's more of like the emotional side of it. So if your partner cares about who your daughter is becoming. Not just how she plays, then mental training and is an investment in her character, in her strength, in her future. Because we all, if we're gonna look down the line a little bit, like five years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, she's not gonna be playing her sport anymore. Yeah, it might be for fun, but like she's gonna potentially be in her career, she's going to maybe have a family. She's gonna face a lot of challenges, a lot of people in her life who are not going to potentially treat her fairly and like. All of those things are like things that we want to equip our kids with skills to navigate. So this is the opportunity that she gets to develop those skills and develop into really the person that you want her to be and how you want her to be facing those challenges in the future. Okay, so that's point number two. Point number one again, was position this as an investment in like an insurance investment. So that you're guaranteeing the ROI on what you're already investing. Point number two, reminder that just this goes well beyond sports. We're not just developing her skills in her sport, but it's for her life. Okay, and point number three. this is kind of a, like, we gotta look at what we're already doing. Okay. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. My high school coach used to always tell me that, okay, not me personally, but just like she used to say that. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's true. I can't keep doing like the same defensive movement and expect that I'm like going to get the ball up when that hasn't worked for the past, you know, however many reps. So, the way that we wanna look at this is what we're doing right now might not be working. And that's okay because a lot of times the situation that we see families in and we see partners in is that the car ride home really sucks right now. Okay? We're trying to figure it out and you know, but everything that we seem to be doing seems to be making it worse. Or maybe you have like your husband coaches. Her team or you coach the team and that's adding like another layer of drama and it's just like adding strain to the relationship and strain to the family. And now we're kind of going down this path of like, her sport is actually making things harder for our family life than it is easier when. Really this started as something that was supposed to be fun and joyful for everybody. Okay. And so kind of looking at it like, is this really what we want to be doing? Is this working for us? And it's okay to admit that and to admit that like, I don't know what to say all the time to my daughter. I don't know what to say all the time when I see that my partner is interacting with my daughter in a way that is actually not helping her. You know, all of that doesn't mean that you're failing. It just means that you don't have the right tools. Okay. And like I said earlier, we actually have a whole side of our program that's for parents. And so, just like we gave athletes skills to be able to navigate all the things of their sports, to increase their confidence, increase their mental strength, all those things we have a whole half of the program is for parents also on how to basically not screw up the sports journey because you only get one shot at this. With your one particular athlete. I know if you have multiple kiddos, then yeah, you've got other opportunities. But you know what, we don't wanna just like kind of waste them on the, first few that go through. Okay. So, this is your chance and when you look back on this experience, what do you want to remember? For sure kids are remembering that car ride home where it was like, gosh, I just felt like I was spiraling and my parent wouldn't stop pointing out what I did wrong. Like they remember that. And that lasts a long time like that, that sticks with them. And so this is your opportunity to make sure that you are doing it, quote unquote, the right way. Like you have the skills to be able to know what to say before a game after a game when she is going through a hard time when she has a challenge with her coach, teammates when like you're coaching the team and it's not going well because she hears. Coach, but sees mom or dad, like all of those things. Like they don't come with an instruction manual until now. Like we literally have an instruction manual for all of this inside the elite mental game. Um, we have had many dads come through the program so. I do get that question a lot. Like typically it is like mom is seeking the services. Mom comes to our free training and like understands and gets it and then they're like tasked with this situation of trying to convince their husbands that like, this is a good idea. But I will say that we actually encourage. And position this as a parent training, not just a mom training. Okay. This is a parent training and it works best when you have parents who are on the same page. Okay? The other question I get, and if you're in this situation, if you're thinking, well, I'm a single mom, or I'm a single dad, or mom's not as invested in the sports journey as I am, or dad's not invested in the sports journey as I like. All of those situations? Yes, this will apply as well. Okay. While we, you know, the traditional like two, parent household is, you know, if that is your situation, then we want both of you to go through the parent side of the program. But if that's not your situation, that's okay. Just having one parent learn these resources and apply them to their kiddo, like. That goes a long way as well. We actually, one of the resources I'm gonna give you is from a dad who went through the program with his five daughters. So five athletes, all girls. They went through the elite mental game. He actually came on the podcast and shared his experiences. So that's one of the resources that you can actually share with your partner. If that is kind of the sticking point of like, I don't know how else like you can show them. This podcast episode and it just kind of walks through the sta walks through, like how impactful, the training was, not just for his daughters, but for him as well. Okay. So those are the three points that really are gonna help you, position this for your partner. You can also have them listen to this episode. Okay. I know it might be like, oh, they're talking about me, like, and I'm in the room, but that's okay. You can also just put this on for them and have them listen to it. But, number one, mental training is. An insurance investment. Okay. It is ensuring that your daughter is getting the ROI on everything that you're already investing in her sport. Number two, this goes well beyond sports. This isn't just skills for her sports season and really the skills do like grow with her. Like we have off-season training plans inside elite mental game. It's designed for the her to come back to as she grows through her sports, like lifetime access. We have that for a reason, but it goes well beyond her sports. It goes into her life. And number three. We gotta look at what we're doing right now and it might not be working and that's okay. It just means that you don't have the skills yet to be able to be the sports parent that you wanna be or really know. And that's not your fault because we aren't really taught any of that until now. Okay. Some resources, first of all, you can have them listen to this episode. I know it might seem like a third person situation. Nowhere I'm talking, you know, but whatever. That's fine. I'll link the combo guide below. So the combo guide is actually designed for you to like how to talk to your daughter about mental training, but there are some resources in there for your partner and spouse, specifically that podcast episode with that dad who had the five daughters. You can also watch the free training together. So that webinar, that free training that maybe you've already, been to where you learned about the elite mental game. They can watch that too. Your partner can watch that too. So that's at train her game.com. So if you wanna re-register for that, you get a replay into your inbox, you can always show that to them as well. That's a great way for them to also see our approach to mental training and how we do it, and also get a good walkthrough of what the elite mental game is. Okay. That's what I have for you. If you have other questions about this, if you're like, yeah, this is a great. Start, but I have a specific question. My dms are open. I'm at Elite Competitor Coach on Instagram or on Facebook. You can message me there. You can reach out via email at hello@elitecompetitor.com. And as a reminder, that free training for you, for your spouse is@trainhergame.com. That's a great resource on just. How to know what this is all about, including the elite mental game, if that is what you're considering for your next step. That's our signature mental training program for girl athletes, but also for you as a parent. All right. I am Coach Bree, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'll see you in the next episode of the Raising Elite Competitors podcast