Speaker 1: 1:12

Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Brie, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'm bringing you a special episode. We actually just finished a EMG Moms Tell All panel. I had the pleasure of interviewing Allegra and Samara. Their daughters are actually a little bit on the young end. They joined the program when they were nine and 12, almost 13 respectively so you get to hear their experience with how they went through the program with their daughters, the changes that their daughters were noticing in their sport, the changes that the moms themselves experienced, and then there were some great questions on the panel that I threw their way, and they just answered it from their perspective.

Speaker 1: 1:50

And, before you start to wonder, I did not pay these moms to talk about the elite mental game in the way that they did. So maybe I should, though, but anyways, they just had so much gold to share, and the questions were phenomenal as well. So if you're wondering, like how long does it take to get results? What if I have a boy athlete and, by the way, these strategies do apply to boys as well but what if I have a multi-sport athlete or an individual sport? What changes did athletes start to experience? What tools are they using? What tools are the moms using? We really do cover it all, so I hope you get a ton of value out of this.

Speaker 1: 2:20

All right, moms enjoy this one. So we have Allegra, we have Samara here, and they're going to be sharing a little bit of their experience inside EMG. Thank you so much for being generous with your time and sharing, because I know how useful it is to just hear from other people who have been in their shoes. So I'm going to introduce you. Will you tell us how many kiddos you have, their ages, what sports they play, and then we'll go from there. Allegra, you're first on my screen, so I'll start with you.

Speaker 2: 2:45

Okay, I have two kids, but only one of them has done this program so far. My older is 12. His name's Ari. He's a boy and he plays sports, but he's not as into it as my daughter. So I really did this program with and for my daughter, who's nine. So one of the things was I wasn't totally sure if she would be ready for the program, so I can talk about that later. But she does gymnastics, which is a very intense sport, and she's on a competitive team.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Yeah, thanks for mentioning that, because we have had a lot of questions about, like my daughter's nine, she's 10. Is she too young? And typically I say, like gymnastics is one of those sports that's like they have. They start to experience pressure a lot younger, so we'll get into that. Samara, can you introduce yourself? How many athletes, all the things.

Speaker 3: 3:31

Yes, hi, my name is Samara. I live in Corona, california. My daughter is Robin. She's a softball catcher on a travel team. She's going into her third season of travel and, yeah, I look forward to sharing her experiences and our experiences together working through the EMG program. How?

Speaker 2: 3:51

old is she Samara?

Speaker 3: 3:52

Oh, I'm sorry, she is 12. Actually, she'll be 13 tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 3:57

Oh fun, that's awesome. Okay, great. So we've got a little bit on the younger end represented here. For moms that are like I have a high school athlete, I have a college athlete. Yes, the skills do apply to older athletes as well. Just happens to be that we've got some younger ones here, which I'm super excited to dive into your experiences. So can we start first and moms love that you're introducing yourself in the chat. If you have questions, as we're going on, either for me or for Samara or for Allegra, pop them in there. Don't be shy. If you have a question, probably somebody else does too. So my first question for the moms, though, is what caught your eye, what interested you in the first place to join EMG? So, allegra, I'll start with you.

Speaker 2: 4:34

We did EMG kind of in a condensed format, because gymnastics for my daughter right now her main season is in the fall and I only heard about this like as her season was starting and her first two meets she did not do as well as she hoped to do and I could tell that she was really disappointed, and so I was just kind of looking for ways to pump her up or I don't know just like some kind of strategy to pump her up or I don't know just like some kind of strategy to help her, because she seemed to be good in practice and then, you know, during the meet she would fall apart. So she just gets really nervous and gymnastics is super intense. I mean you have all these like people looking at you and judges scoring you and you're up there doing these things by yourself. So I was just looking for a way to improve her confidence, I guess.

Speaker 1: 5:22

Yeah, yeah, for sure. There's so many sports like that, but, as I said in the beginning, like gymnastics and also softball pitchers. I don't know what position does Robin play. She's a catcher.

Speaker 2: 5:32

She's a catcher.

Speaker 1: 5:32

Okay, so similar. It's kind of like these key positions that like all eyes are on you and it's natural, for I mean, I would, I'm the same way. I'd be like, okay, yeah, I'm out here, everybody's watching me and it's a lot, a lot of pressure, so you're not alone in that and thinking that and wanting to have strategies for her. So Samara, how about you? What was kind of piqued your interest?

Speaker 3: 6:17

What piqued my interest was definitely just helping her have a process to work through those challenging times. And you're not just playing a sport. These are life lessons that are going to help you progress through life. Whether it's challenges in your college area or on a job, you know you're going to have to work through challenges challenges with coaches, challenges with teammates and all of this is our life lessons. And it's not just about the sport. But obviously you have the talent, but how can we help you manage your emotions so that you're successful throughout your softball career and throughout life or whatever sports you choose to do?

Speaker 1: 6:58

Yeah, I love this, tasha for sure. Great insight, because that really is what it's about, and we'll dive into that, like car ride, in a second because I'm curious about that. But there was a question in the chat how it's the oldest age. You've helped the oldest that we've had. Okay, well, we just actually had an adult pickleball player join, but for the most part the age is 11, 18, but we've had college athletes. I think probably the oldest is like 21, 22.

Speaker 1: 7:22

I'm specifically thinking of our track athlete who she runs track at Clemson university and so she just went through the program recently and she sent me a text not too long ago of I'm not condoning this, those of you that have younger athletes, like we do not talk about this in the program at all, but in phase two they come up with or phase one and two, they come up with their reset word, right? So maybe Sambara, your daughter is in there, maybe a letter of yours has to, and her reset word was unstoppable. So she sent me a picture that she got a tattoo of her word on her side and I was like, oh my gosh. She was like it just has meant so much to me and it's like unlocked so much for me and I'm just so connected. I'm like you go girl. Okay, that's not we don't have a lesson about. Like you should get your tattoo, but anyways, that's what made me think of that. Okay, I love that.

Speaker 1: 8:10

So, as a mom, you're kind of like in this position where you're like okay, this sounds great, this is what my daughter needs. Like we're struggling, maybe with car ride home, watching her kind of spiral after mistakes and not really have skills. She's in a pressure position and maybe even wanting to give her the skills as she grows through her sport too. Because you're like okay, I know what's coming, especially in gymnastics. It's like just gets harder and harder. So you're in this position as mom and now you have the opportunity to share this with your daughter. So I am curious, because I know a lot of moms are in this. But we're like how do I bring this up to my daughter? You know we take care of a lot of buy-in once they're in the program because the warmup does that naturally for them. But a lot of moms are like I just want to have her at least open to the idea. So I'm curious for both of you how did you bring this up to your daughters. So, allegra, I'll start with you.

Speaker 2: 8:52

So this actually relates quite well to car rides home. So actually I did it during a car ride home after a meet that she did not score that well and I knew she was upset but I didn't really know what to say. But I had been researching this program and I said to her you know, it seems like you maybe feel that you could have done better today. And she said, yeah, maybe feel that you could have done better today. And she said yeah, and I said you know, I heard about this program where you know it might be helpful for you to learn like some strategies that could help in the future.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Would you be interested in listening to a podcast like On Our Way Home? And then I played one of your podcasts and after it I said, and I would try to, and I found that I would talk to her in the middle and she'd be like you know, she was like wanting to listen and and it was like a short, it wasn't like a super long podcast. But and afterwards I said, does this sound like something you might want to learn more about? And she said, yes, I want to learn more about it. So that's that's why we started.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Yeah, okay, that's great. And for moms that are like, oh, could I get some of that we have, I would. I'm assuming you shared. Allegra was one of the podcasts that we had in that conversation guide. Yeah, we have some episodes in there that are great to share with your daughter. We also, since the both of you have joined, I mean you could have your daughters go through this. But we've created a quiz. It's called what's your Competitor Style Quiz. It's another way for athletes to learn about themselves. Everyone loves personality tests and they want to know what am I? Am I the pressure player, am I the comeback player? And so they can go through that quiz as well. So we'll drop Abby or Christina. We'll drop in the chat both of those resources. Oh, I will drop in the chat both of those resources. Oh, there, it is right there, abby, you're amazing, and there's some of those episodes that Allegra was talking about. Okay.

Speaker 3: 10:40

How about you, samara? You know we had a tournament where she did kind of get down on herself and had a bit of performance issues because she made one mistake and it kind of led to a couple other mistakes. And when we got home we just had that conversation about you know what, do you think you could do better? Or you know what, if we had a tool that could help you? And I had her listen to one of the introduction. You also had a part of how to bring it up and how to talk to. Not, you know, there's nothing wrong with you. What you're doing is fine. I just want to give you a tool, another tool in your tool belt. So we have different tools throughout life and what do you think about getting an extra tool? And it's given us so many tools and it's affected us positively as a family and then her as an athlete. So just saying, hey, are you open to having another tool and just what are you open to?

Speaker 1: 11:41

Yeah, okay, that's great. You two nailed it. With those conversations. I know they can be tricky because you're like I don't want her to think that something, I see something wrong with her. So, yeah, that conversation guide gives some good talking points to kind of, you know, work, some different angles. But I do want to assure you, though those of you that are listening you can jump in. We do have a 14 day money back guarantee for a reason, and so when she gets in, you can jump in, but not enroll her right away, you know, and you can just wait a little bit or you can just let her get started. The warm up gets her bought in really intentionally, so she hears from other athletes she does, she gets really quick wins that she can apply. So we take care of the buy-in so that you don't have to as much, and sometimes it's better coming from us anyways. So, okay, I have a question from a mom to the other moms what have you noticed? The biggest gains that have happened?

Speaker 3: 12:31

So yeah, let's go into that. What did you start to?

Speaker 1: 12:33

notice in your daughter once she started going through the program. So, allegra, back to you.

Speaker 2: 12:39

Was the question about this particular question, about your daughter or about you as?

Speaker 1: 12:44

a mom? Oh, good, good question. This is about mom, so I want to hear both, but let's start with mom. Okay, so I would say that unexpectedly.

Speaker 2: 12:55

This program program and I know you know I think older athletes maybe have a different, get a little bit different things out of it, at least initially, than like younger athletes. I think my daughter's kind of on the younger side. This program has been so monumentally influential for me that I cannot express enough gratitude to you, brie, and to like your entire team. Basically, I learned that I am, I have been part of the problem and just the way that my nonverbal, my verbal communication, just things that I did not even realize I was doing, I think unintentionally were making her confidence and her performance potentially less than it could have been. And I have learned that I need to shut up a lot of the times and basically learn to listen. And I was a competitive athlete growing up and I need to learn to take that out of my daughter's journey and learn that this is for her and it's her journey and I need to learn how to best support her and I have gotten a lot of tools to do that for myself from this program.

Speaker 1: 15:45

Yeah, Thank you for sharing that. I would say I feel you know we do these mom panels every once in a while and I'm like I swear I'm going to get through one without crying, but nope, just because you guys are amazing. So, yeah, Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, Samara, how about for you?

Speaker 3: 15:59

Allegra put it together perfectly my nonverbal communications and the impact that that can have on her.

Speaker 3: 16:08

I was taken aback about how we can impact how they feel about themselves and you know they may not even if you're not saying disappointment, but you're sitting on the sideline, you're just like. You know, they know that you're disappointed and being more stoic and or sometimes if it's a big game and I know I'm excited for her, I will actually sit back where she can't see me, or when she's batting I'll go so that she's not facing me, so she can't see. And I came from. My father was in the military, so I came from that military background of immediate feedback and not just being very direct. Whereas is that really supporting her? No, you know, like how do you feel knowing that she's doing her snapback routine and then that my nonverbal is like I'm proud of her and I know that's feeding to her on the field, whether she can see me or not, and you know the energy that I'm putting out, that just seeing her mature by controlling my own verbal and nonverbal communication.

Speaker 1: 17:19

Yeah, yeah, it's huge. I agree with you. I'm I'm pretty direct as well, and it's not. It's not like we can't do that, but it's also first like let's pause, let's create a little space here first, and then our kids are going to be much more receptive to the feedback. If we do that first and, you know, exercise some of those skills that we learned, so okay, that's really great. So it's almost like the personal development you didn't know you needed. I swear it's not a what is it? Switch bait or whatever. We're like. This is for your daughter, but really it's for you. But there is so much in there for moms, because we, we impact our kids so much, and so we'd be doing you a disservice to not provide you with the tools too. Okay, well, let's. Let's go to the athletes. I have a question how did your daughters change in their personal experience with their sports? So let's talk about you know, what did you start to notice in your daughter, allegra?

Speaker 2: 18:16

we'll start with you. You know I even though, again, she's young I wasn't sure if she would be able to start using these skills, and what I was looking for is a gain in her confidence, and one thing she's able to do now is just really focus on herself instead of comparing herself to other people. So she's learning how to create goals that are specific to her and the things that she needs to do, and not just oh, I'm not as good as that person in this, it's okay, but what can you do? What do you need to do? So kind of bring it back.

Speaker 2: 18:49

And I just wanted to address another question that came up in the chat that's related to this, and that I am using these strategies not only for her sport, but we're starting to use it in her academics, in her social life, just in like, at school she didn't get a very good grade on a science test. I'm like, okay, well, what can, what do you think you can do to improve? What do we need to do? I mean just just bringing it all back to things that she is able to control, and it's just. These principles are not only for sport, and I think throughout the program, they emphasize that as much as this your kids' sports are pretty much their lives right now. One day they're not going to be I mean, people are not professional athletes if they ever get there forever and they still can use many of these skills for normal life, day-to-day things.

Speaker 1: 19:49

Yeah, yeah, that's great. I love that you brought that beyond, beyond the sport as well, cause that's, that's really. It's really what we're doing here. Yeah, there was a question from Colette. So, allegra's, your daughter is nine, is that right?

Speaker 2: 20:01

Yeah, yeah, she'll be 10 soon, but, yes, nine. When we did the program a couple of months ago it was nine.

Speaker 1: 20:07

Yeah, so a little young yeah she's young.

Speaker 2: 20:09

So and I will say that I think the hard part about that is I needed to sit with her, so I couldn't. She's not old enough to just go through the things by herself, or at least I didn't trust her to do that, cause I don't know if she would actually be focusing and listening. So I actually did need to sit, so I had to do mine and then I sat with her and did hers. But it was good for me because it was like an extra boost and a reminder of all the things that were in the mom's side, which are often similar but not always the same as what the athletes are learning too.

Speaker 1: 20:42

Yeah, yeah, it's not so bad as well. Like I know, you said you're an athlete and we we have a lot of moms who have an athletic background or are still doing athletic things, and so even some of those things that we teach athletes like you can be using as well. Like, I use some of this stuff not that I'm like really good at CrossFit, but it's competitive and I do some competing and I just I still play and I still get those negative thoughts, you know, and so, yeah, a lot of these skills just apply to our lives too, with moms.

Speaker 2: 21:10

So yeah, and I'll say that the lessons are often short or you can break them down, so my daughter had no problem sitting you know if it was a longer one, we wouldn't do the whole thing. If it was a 40 minute one, I'd say okay. Well, they're always like multiple sections that are, like you know, three to 10 minutes, and so they're very easy to do chunks of sections if you can't sit for the entire. You know lesson.

Speaker 1: 21:36

Yeah, and was your nine-year-old willing to sit and do it with you?

Speaker 2: 21:38

Yeah, she, you know she was, and then that was good because I was able to kind of keep her accountable of like, oh we can do this.

Speaker 1: 21:47

Yeah, we have a lot of moms that just do it too, like we were just going to have like a Starbucks date on Saturdays and we're just going to do it or something like that. But yeah, they're very short. We used to actually, back in the day, have like long it was like 40 minutes or an hour and we're like, nope, this isn't working. So, even though the sections, the phase, might end up being a couple of hours, it's all like in very small chunks and they don't have to do one phase in one sitting, and so a little bit goes a long way.

Speaker 2: 22:10

Yeah, it's very doable, and it's not like you have to. We sort of condensed it just because we wanted to finish before her season was over, but you don't have to do that. I mean you could spread it out longer, well thanks for being here.

Speaker 1: 22:22

Amber, too in the chat. Okay, samara, how about you? What did you start to notice in Robin?

Speaker 3: 22:28

I noticed in Robin that she became more confident on the field and would take she took a few more risks that were with positive results, where I felt like she was holding back and her leadership on the field was you could absolutely just. That was probably the biggest change in talking to her about leadership and leadership doesn't always have to be a loud leadership, lead by example, lead by effort. Control the things you can control. And again to Allegra's point, it goes throughout our entire life, whether it's a conflict with control. What you can control, baby, what are some things in that situation could you have controlled or how could we handle it? Have handled it differently? Is there something that you could have controlled in that situation? Oh, you could have controlled the way you reacted to it. Great.

Speaker 3: 23:27

And being able to have that two-way communication with her and understanding that's what I love is that there's modules for us as well as for the athletes, because it does allow for that open, two-way communication. My husband has done his part as well. So it's as a family it's just really opened things up. And then even my husband and I sometimes, you know, jokingly well, babe. Is that something you could have controlled, husband and I, sometimes, you know jokingly. Well, babe, is that something you could have controlled? It definitely serves the entire family. And, to your point, when I'm working out or it's a day I'm tired, it's just okay. What could you control? Get up and go, do your two or three miles Can control that. So absolutely.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Yeah, okay, this is great. Yeah, I see some great questions in the chat One I want to address really fast Can this program work for boys or specifically girls only? I mean, we primarily work with girl athletes, so that's why you see a lot of like girl athlete images throughout the program. The trainings themselves are gender neutral and then the visualizations are too. So we have had athletes come through and we have siblings come through who are boy athletes. So as long as he's okay with seeing, like okay, there's images of girl athletes and the skills do apply. Kind of depends on his age, or I would say less age and more like maturity level, depending on you know, if he's, you know these skills do apply. So we've definitely had boy athletes come through with success.

Speaker 1: 24:51

Another question I will start with, but then I am going to have moms's answer. The question is how do you practice the tools? And so the tools in the program are laid out really by training. There's a specific tool that athletes they're working through their workbook. There's a workbook that they go through as they complete the program, but then they're applying that thing to whatever's coming up for them. So whether that's a workout, a training session, a practice, if they're in their off season, maybe it's like an open gym or a situation outside of their sport. So an example would be in the first phase they learn their snapback routine. So that's a very tangible tool their breath, the reset word, their gesture or their signal. And so then they're applying that tool in practice and that's like their simple way to get over mistakes. But then we have breathwork techniques, visualizations, their three, two, one brave. They have pre competition routines, post competition routines, alter ego technique.

Speaker 1: 25:43

Some of the things that Samara was talking about with like shifting their thoughts to this is happening for me versus happening to me. What can I control in this situation? What's out of my control? So, like it's a little bit of cognitive behavior theory here. That's like allowing athletes to recognize okay, are these thoughts effective or are they not? So there's simple, tangible tools and there's also some that they'll go through. They're not realizing that they're doing some of this like thought work, you know, but they're still absorbing it. So my question, though, for moms is oh, and Samara, there's a question in the chat for you that you can get to as well but what tool or what thing in the program was your daughter's favorite or what did you see her gravitating to most. If you have an example or a story of that, I would love to hear it.

Speaker 3: 26:24

Yeah, to answer the question, from time to time she would be frustrated. A catcher's job really is to make the pitcher look good, and there was one pitcher that sometimes struggled a little bit and there was one pitcher that sometimes, you know, struggled a little bit, but again you can't control. Or if the umpire was making a bad call, like it was in the strike zone, and he keeps calling it out of the strike zone, what can you control? You know you can, and this is where the leadership part, where she would turn to the umpire and say where's that missing? You know he might say high or low or to the, and then that way she still feels like she has a voice and she has control, and so it helped her with not being frustrated about. You know you can't control the other players, what they're doing. All you can control is how you react to it, how you respond to it. So I hope that answers your question, colette. And then the oh, sorry, what was the question? We were going on?

Speaker 1: 27:22

Just any tools, tools that Robin found especially useful.

Speaker 3: 27:25

Yes, definitely the snapback routine and what I don't know what her I forgot what her word was in her breath, but I could see her tugging on her catcher's gear.

Speaker 3: 27:36

That was her signal to herself to kind of get out of it. And so seeing her use that on the field and seeing where in the past a pass ball would just have two or three pass balls in a row would have her spiraling, it was just like she'd use her routine and you know, in all sports it's never always finite all the way up and sometimes you see her catch herself and bounce back and just the positivity that she has on the field compared to previously. So I think that's the biggest one I am aware of. I know there's other things that I've asked her about and she's like, oh, I'm using this tool or you know, mom, I got this, I'm using X Y, z. But I think the snapback was probably the one that I saw the quickest and have the quickest impact and the most impact on her game, which then, once she could control that, she got more confidence. Then she brought out the leadership in her and it just kind of built on top of each other and the results were pretty quickly. I had a different athlete.

Speaker 2: 28:44

Yeah, that's amazing, Allegra, anything that you noticed Well during her competitive meet season I think she was using the snapback routine and some of her breath work, but it's hard for me to really know, especially with her age.

Speaker 2: 28:59

I would ask her and she's like yeah, yeah, I'm using it, whatever. What I do know tangibly that she was using, and still does now that we're in off season, is definite improved goal setting, even for little steps almost daily, of what she wants to focus on during each rotation, even at practice. And then also her self-talk has improved a lot in terms of if she doesn't have a skill yet, that's okay, and just how she feels about herself, about that. And she's also still journaling a bit. So sometimes I'll read her journals and just see what is she taking. And she's also still journaling a bit. So sometimes I'll read her journals and just see what is she taking and she'll say I work hard every day and this is an example. You know I, the coaches, recognized me the other day for this and that, and so she's definitely carrying these tools with her.

Speaker 1: 29:51

Yeah, that's so awesome. I love that she's building that skill for herself as a nine-year-old. That's just really awesome. And the journaling part that you were talking about, that's part of our 3-2-1 brave. So we tell athletes 3-2-1 brave is your daily mindset routine. I say daily, but really in the program I say on the days you're practicing and competing. This is like the five minute thing that you can do to make sure your mind is right.

Speaker 1: 30:11

And the 3-2-1 stands for three affirmations. So they come up with three really really powerful statements about themselves based on what they want to be and who they want to be as athletes. These aren't just you know, these fluffy, like I am strong, you know, although that's great, but they're really found based on what they want. The two minutes of journaling Now, if you're like I don't know if my daughter will ever journal honestly once, they just sit down and do it like a lot of athletes and I do this with all the athletes in my program and they're like it actually is great, like I just can get stuff out, and some of them are prompted, some of them are just like what's on your mind, one piece of gratitude and one piece of evidence that one of your affirmations is coming true. So we're training their brain. They're part of their brain.

Speaker 1: 31:01

No-transcript this is not toxic positivity. This is I'm choosing to focus on what is going well, because Lord knows there's a lot that's not going well and I could choose to focus on that and that would be that. But no, we're going to choose to hunt the good and so training them and what athletes? What they end up doing is knowing that they have that routine. They're going to be like throughout their day, finding things that are like supporting who they want to be, and then the brave is just a little visualization that helps them see and really live into this. So that's another really tangible tool and I tell athletes to like. The 30 minutes a week is what we suggest you break it up to. We have a training plan that they can follow for 30 minutes a week. But if you don't have 30 minutes, I would first challenge that. But second, just the five to six minutes of the 3-2-1 brave is is enough for you to like on that day. Make sure that your mind is right.

Speaker 2: 31:47

So I mean, I found myself like oh, I want to get to the next lesson, it wasn't. It wasn't like oh, I have to do 30 minutes. It was like what else does she have to say I want to get through it so I could learn this stuff and start using it as quickly as possible. Yeah, oh that's great.

Speaker 1: 32:03

Okay, I have a question.

Speaker 3: 32:04

Oh yeah, I'm just going to respond to Brian, really quick.

Speaker 3: 32:07

Oh yeah, thank you. Yeah, so I actually do travel quite a bit for work and my husband is the primarily takes her to and from practices, and by both of us going through the program it has us aligned on how we respond, even how we communicate. We even say we have a little team name for our family, and so it really helps us know that we're all on the same mission together and we're again controlling what we can control. And so when I'm on my long drives, if I'm on a business trip, I'm listening to the elite, competitor, elite mental game on my trips, and so I come back and we discuss it as a family and you know it could just be a five minute discussion before dinner or after dinner we're all busy, but it really does help align the family and the parents. Yeah, sorry about that.

Speaker 1: 33:01

Yeah, I know that's great and I love that you have a little. You got a little team name. I'm totally going to do that with my family. I love it. Okay, let's see here I've got. I've seen all of your questions, by the way, so we're going to get to them, but I do this question that we're just going to detour to what tools do the moms like for themselves? Moms, I know you've you've hit on this a couple different ways, but, allegra, what do you think?

Speaker 2: 33:29

I mean, I just I have been using this sort of self reflection of how I'm speaking to my daughter and not only to my daughter, but about my daughter to my friends and in any kind of public situation that anyone can hear what's actually going on in my head, that I realized that what I think and what I say does have impact, and so I'm really focusing myself on trying to better myself in those ways and just like how I'm thinking about things, and also just focusing on how I can support her and not bring my own views sometimes into her journey.

Speaker 1: 34:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:16

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 34:16

That's so important, samaria, what about you?

Speaker 3: 34:20

Yeah, I think definitely as well. The self-reflection and how I am communicating, even about myself or something that I feel like I might have a shortcoming about, and so I believe in one of them. It's like right now I have this opportunity to work, to control or improve, and so, instead of saying this, I'm terrible at blah, blah, blah, blah, I have an opportunity to improve this, whether it's my, my running time or what have you having that different self-talk, and because they are always listening and watching, and whether I'm not complaining about my oh well, I wish this was a little bit smaller. This is different. No, I'm really watching my self-talk and then it also has given me more confidence, and so, yeah, I would say that's the biggest thing.

Speaker 1: 35:24

I love all these questions about like for us as moms. You know we're like this is, you know it's not just for your athlete, so great, okay. Question probably more for me is how does the program change the mindset for the resistant athlete? If you have the age of that, is starting to be resistant to doing things like this, but need the mom present Because it sounds like both of your kiddos oh yeah, and Brian, I see you. I'm so glad that you're here. Yes, for dads too, not just moms. It sounds like both of your kiddos weren't necessarily resistant to that. Is that true or was there any resistance?

Speaker 2: 35:55

My daughter was not very resistant, so I can't speak specifically to that. But what I would say is like why are you doing the program? Or why does like your daughter even want to do the program? And the fact that they have, I guess, a money back guarantee, I mean it's just like you know, if they want to improve in their sport or something about what is happening in their sport just doesn't feel right, or there's a lot of negativity towards other people on their team. I noticed, like one other comment about blame, the kid has to be a little bit open-minded to even just changing that perspective and then giving it a try. And I would say just try. And I mean the program kind of speaks for itself. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:40

Yeah, that's great, great perspective. Was there any resistance from Robin? There wasn't any resistance from Robin.

Speaker 3: 36:47

But I would say that opportunity because you know we presented it as a tool. But the program really draws the athlete in very quickly where it's what can you can control, and it's not mom is making me do this, it's they're making a choice to do the program and it's you know it. Just she seemed very engaged right away, where she sometimes does have the tendency to not want to, you know, do things and so it. I feel like it drew her in pretty quickly. So that would be my feedback.

Speaker 2: 37:25

Yeah, I just I wanted to add one thing is I really love the aspect about promoting the program as like a special tool that other kids don't have. Right, it's like a unique thing that gives you something special to put kind of you ahead of the game, Like you could already be great, but to be the greatest there's these other things that you have to do and I know, in particular with gymnastics there's been a lot of media attention, like with Simone Biles and how her mental issues and I think my daughter really connected with that.

Speaker 2: 38:01

Oh well, these super famous people do stuff too outside of just practicing. That's not just the physical part. So I think she was already able to understand that that's an important component that maybe a lot of other people aren't doing.

Speaker 1: 38:17

Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1: 38:19

I mean, because I think that in that conversation guide I think that Abby just dropped in there that's one of the talking points is does she have an athlete that she looks up to or that's in it? There's plenty of examples now of athletes in the media talking about these things. So it's like that's the thing that gives you a competitive edge. And then, catherine, what resources? Yeah, I mean just the warmup actually gets them going, but that competitor style quiz that Abby put in there, it's elitecompetitorcom forward slash athlete. That's where they can take that little quiz and I want your girls to take it too. I know that we just developed this, but it's just another tool that they can use to learn about themselves and kind of get drawn in. We breadcrumb, what mental training is we breadcrumb, like what EMG is, so that we're explaining it. Basically, okay and yeah, like if she's just like, oh, and Christina said bribery, I mean that's always there. They also get prizes throughout the program. They get through phase one, they get some merch. They get through phase one, they get some merch. They get Starbucks cards as they go through. Like there's some built in like that, because that's always fun. Okay, I just want to quickly circle back to Catherine's comment about the reset word when we were talking about that. I love that. I was trying to explain this to a coach this morning. My daughter often needs to process a situation or request from a coach. We try and have a word for her to let the coaches know she needs more process times. Time reset I don't think the application is the same, but yeah, no, it is. And it's so awesome when athletes can communicate that with their coaches too and not to go too into too far into coaching. But I don't know, all of my kids reset words on my team, but I ask them, like what's your reset word when we're in moments like that? And it just provides a little bit of space. So, yeah, for sure, it's so, so helpful. Yeah, starbucks, she's in. Okay, let's see. Here. I want to make sure I'm hitting all the questions. Oh, there was a question about live support, and so, yes, we have. It's called level up live support and it provides athletes coaching from our coaches via text. But I'm curious, allegra, if you have yours activated. I know that I've seen Robin on the calls. In fact, just a couple of weeks ago she was on, and then also we have two times a month live calls that athletes can come to. So the coach on call texting we pair them with an elite competitor coach Right now it's me or Coach Saylor and we're both kind of hopping in there and we check in with her every week, give her a little mental training nugget and then we ask her a question. She can respond to that number at any time. We also text you as the mom like, especially if your daughter doesn't have a phone. Then we're checking in with you. And then the two times a month calls the first call of the month is a. It's split by age. We do a mindset lesson like very short little thing that they can participate as much as they want. And then the second call them up.

Speaker 1: 40:58

You bring in a guest speaker, so like a college. This past Sunday we had Olivia Olson. She's a basketball player. She's a freshman at Michigan but she was like one of the Donald's player of the year, the number one top basketball recruit in the nation last year, and her mom is actually a mom coach in our program. So she came in and shared with the athletes. It was so awesome. But we also bring in like experts in areas of like nutrition, rest, recovery, body image, stuff like that. So, yeah, they get three free months of that. Allegra, do you have yours active? So?

Speaker 2: 41:27

ours isn't active anymore, but we did it during the season when we were doing the program and it's nice that you still have access to the recordings of them forever and I think we'll probably, you know, do it again like when she's in season next. But I will say, she. It was definitely much easier for her to buy into jumping on a call live than for me to be like, okay, let's watch this hour long zoom thing. So you know, while the information is great, if you're not actively in it I think it's a little less at least for my kid it's a little less appealing. But I still love getting the information and knowing that it's there that we can look back on while we're not active right now.

Speaker 1: 42:09

Yeah, yeah, On the uploads, if they can't make it live, we do timestamp them, and so if there's a specific thing that they're like oh, that was my question or I'm curious about that question they can always go to that.

Speaker 2: 42:19

But yeah, and that's super helpful. That's super helpful, thank you.

Speaker 1: 42:25

I know Robin is active on the calls. How has that been for her?

Speaker 3: 42:29

She really enjoyed it. She loved connecting with other athletes. I think it really helps her not feel like she's on an island or that when she's talking with other athletes that are going through some of the same things that she's going through. It really helps her to just know that I'm not the only one dealing with this and it just builds builds her confidence.

Speaker 1: 42:53

Yeah, they also have access. I don't know if you guys have subscribed to it, but there's a private podcast for athletes. So we put the replays on there, but we also do a tip. So those are updated every like every other week or so. So it's just it's in our podcast player and then moms have their own private or so. So it's just it's in their podcast player and then moms have their own private podcasts too. So we update those weekly with tips and make them short, bite-sized, so that you know we're busy sports moms.

Speaker 1: 43:18

Okay, a couple of questions, and then I know, yeah, we're getting to the top of the hour, so we'll be wrapping up here in a second. So, moms, if you have other questions, feel free to drop them in. Amber is a it's actually an EMG mom, so it's so good to see you on. She asks there's about a mountain bike race tomorrow. We've been working on the program daily since last Thursday when we signed up, so about a week. We openly talk about exercise, breathing, affirmations, visualization.

Speaker 1: 43:38

I know she wants to do the race, but I don't know that. I feel she's quite ready. What do you recommend? I do. We will be at the venue no matter what, because her brother is racing as well. Do you mean she's not like physically ready to do the race or something else?

Speaker 1: 43:50

I'll go if you want to elaborate that on you, you can, but I'm probably assuming is she just maybe is feeling like apprehensive to what the outcomes might be. So what I would do is have her yeah, okay, mentally ready. I would have her set one, one goal. I'm not sure, like, how far she is. It sounds like she's established a lot of these things, but one thing that she's gonna focus on the race in the race and make it not connected to the outcome. Obviously it's going to influence the outcome, but we don't want it to be like I wanna get a certain time, I want to beat this person, I wanna get a certain place, but it's something like I'm gonna I'm sorry, I don't know mountain bike racing that well, but maybe it's something like I'm going to stay tight on my turns.

Speaker 1: 44:32

I have no idea if that's actually a thing, but just something process related that she's going to focus on, so that we can take. You know, when she says she's not mentally ready, it's probably because she's worried about the outcome, she's worried about what might happen, she's scared about it, even if she can't quite articulate that, and so we can just bring the focus to something that like hey, you know, I do that in practice every day, I'm going to do that. You can make it physical or you can make it like mental, emotional. So, like I'm going to, I'm going to make sure that I'm using my, my, my reset word, you know, at the start of every race or something like that. But if we just chunk it down and bring it to something that's in their control, that's what I would do. I would do, maybe, pre-competition visualization that she has access to as well. So you know, you could do that. I would do that the morning of the race, if you want. If she's open to doing something the night before the body scan visualization is really good too, just to kind of like get her to relax. If she is into three, two, one, brave, at this point she can do kind of journal out some of these fears.

Speaker 1: 45:28

Another activity that I I love athletes to do when they're feeling a little overwhelmed about their competition is they're probably going to everything that's going to like. What if I mess up? What if I fail? What if I fall? What if I get last place? Just get them all out, write them all out on a piece of paper and then I have them change it to. What if the opposite happens, because we don't know like either one could happen? What if I do really well? What if I PR? What if it's a great race? What if I feel really confident about this Because either one has the same amount? Well, probably it's less likely that the negative is going to happen, but they both could happen. And it's just really where she's putting her focus. So I know that was kind of a lot of things, amber, but hopefully one stuck out. Yeah, kind of like the tear process sort of, but it's a lot more tangible. It's literally what are you afraid of and what are the what ifs? What if I? What is it? You know? What if I lose? What if I mess up? And then changing it to well, what if I do really well? What if I do actually execute? On that thing I've been practicing so it just helps them kind of see it in a different light. Oh yeah, visualization's been good for Robin too. That's great.

Speaker 1: 46:35

And then Brian, one of my girls, loves training, loves playing in scrimmages and friendly matches, loves to be athletic and fit. It's very competitive. A lot of this fades away in actual games of consequence. The passion seems to disappear.

Speaker 1: 46:51

Will this program touch on ways to approach that issue? Yes, absolutely. I mean I can say just from what I know is in the program, even just the foundational, like the athlete she wants to be in developing her three affirmations and those visualizations that go along with it. But then we also teach something called the alter ego technique in phase three. That's really effective, where she actually like comes up with I mean kind of like how Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, kobe Bryant has Black Mamba, like kind of that, that, just that alter ego that they have and they actually create their own. So it kind of provides a little bit of space from how they want to show up and how that might actually be in conflict with their natural personality. So that's another technique. And then, likely she's afraid of something, kind of what I was telling Amber, like there's probably something about the competition, that there's a fear happening and so we help them work through those two. But, tamara, did you, did Robin have any of that Like anything where she was like holding back at all?

Speaker 3: 47:38

Yeah, I think she was holding back and as catchers they have, which they can do, what's called pickoffs, and so they're trying to pick off a player at first or third and she just wasn't confident to even try. And then it was really we had one weekend where she had a total of six outs from either picks or throw downs because she just I was like I don't, amazing. And the last, one of the biggest things that I learned from the program and that I liked is I learned my role because I've coached her. I coached her in rec ball and knowing, now that she's in travel, I'm her mom first, not her coach, and being that, I'm her mom first, not her coach, and being that, being that for her and being, I hear you, has been really huge throughout our relationship. But you know, as a um, a parent to an athlete, I think that's been the biggest change and positive change for our relationship.

Speaker 1: 48:45

Yeah, oh, I'm glad you hit on relationship too, because, yeah, that just I hear so many stories of like parents that are like her sport is causing like a rift in our relationship and this is not how it should be. So, yeah, okay, I think I have most of the questions that I saw answered. But, christina, let me know on the doc, like if there's anything else that I missed from the chat but I do want to offer. You know, allegra doc, if there's anything else that I missed from the chat but I do want to offer, you know, allegra Samara, anything that we didn't cover that you think would be worth mentioning. Yeah, now's the time.

Speaker 2: 49:18

I want to mention that at the end of our program my daughter had an amazing experience with Saylor, so I just want to give her some props you could. Clearly this was not like a rote thing from some big company. Saylor really looked at her answers and responded specifically to everyone and sent a video response back and my daughter loved that. She was like, oh my God, it's like this famous person responding in very specific ways to how my daughter filled out the survey and just encouraging her, giving her feedback. So that was just really lovely and you just feel like you have gained such a supportive community that you can ask anything to. So I just I really love that part of the program as well. As I mentioned before, this is not only for Nina's gymnastics. It has spread into all aspects of her life and helped me know how to talk to her better about just normal everyday stuff as well as as gymnastics.

Speaker 1: 50:27

Yeah, oh, thank you for mentioning that. It really is the best and yeah, that's great. What you're talking about probably is the season power up or power down.

Speaker 2: 50:36

It was the power down, yeah.

Speaker 1: 50:37

Power down. Yeah, so we have a process where, when athletes are starting a season or ending a season, they fill out a little survey with some information about their goals or how their season went, and then Saylor or I read through them, create a plan for her for the off season or what her next step is. And then Saylor recorded a video for Nina and just specifically addressing it. So yeah, so glad, I'm glad. Saylor really is the best. Yeah, samara.

Speaker 3: 51:02

Last thing I have is what I love about Robin has completed the program, but that she always still has access to all of the content. So if there's an area she wants to revisit and as we, as well as myself as a mom if there's a part that has helped, helped me or helped our relationship, I can go back and review it. So I love that it's accessible all the time. It's not that, oh, you go through it once and then you lose all the information and you can't access it. So that's where I also see a lot of value in it, if you will.

Speaker 2: 51:37

Yeah, for sure, I agree 100% with all that.

Speaker 1: 51:41

Yeah, especially with your kids being younger too. I mean even our kids that are in high school. You know we have different phases of the program to support them in different parts of their season too. So we have an off-season training plan, a tryout or like a showcase prep section. We have pre-season, post-season, so it kind of supports them, and then there's going to be things like that Nina or Robin are not dealing with right now in their sport, but they will in a few years and so and we're always updating the content as well in the program to make sure it's relevant we just added actually, the alter ego technique was something that we added in sort of recently, not since your kids have been through that, but yeah, we're always updating it as well so that they have the most relevant resources for them.

Speaker 1: 52:19

So, oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much, both of you, allegra, samara, and all the moms and the dads who have been here with us. I seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful for both of you for sharing your time so generously For everyone that's listening did not pay Samara, I did not pay Allegra to be here to share. So I just am so thankful for the both of you and just sharing so generously.

Speaker 2: 52:45

It's amazing, go do it. I cannot say enough amazing things. I mean at this point probably more for me than my daughter, although it has helped her a ton, and I love that we have all these tools, but I realized that I have a lot of growing to do as a sports parent as well absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 3: 53:07

Thank you so much for putting this together, coach.