Speaker 1: 1:12

Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. I'm Coach Brie, a mental performance coach for girl athletes, and I'm so excited that you're here. Today's a special episode because I actually got the pleasure of interviewing three moms who are at different stages with their daughters inside the Elite Mental Game. Now, as you might be following along, we are about to be or are currently in, depending on when you're listening to this a winter enrollment special of our signature mental training program, the Elite Mental Game, so it's at a discount right now. We're offering some bonuses just because we have a really cool enrollment special going on, and, if you're anything like me, it's helpful, when you're going to make an investment, to hear from people who have been in your shoes. And that is exactly what you get to hear from these three moms. As I mentioned, they're at different stages in their journey, so their daughters are all different ages. They all play different sports. Some are individual, some are team sports, some have just started the program and are just getting going, and so you get to hear from that mom on how she's getting her daughter engaged a little bit. And then you also get to hear from Kim, who is one of our veteran moms who's been in the program over two years and how her daughter is still applying these skills. So they're very honest and very vulnerable in what they share. They don't sugarcoat anything, and so this is just a really cool opportunity for you to hear exactly what it's like from the perspective of moms who have daughters inside the elite mental game. So this will be great.

Speaker 1: 2:42

This actually is a recording of the interview that I did with these moms. It was a live interview, so there were other moms who were listening and on the call with us and they were asking questions in the chat and I answered some and some of the other moms answered some, so you will hear some of that. It's a recording of a live call, so just know that and keep that in mind as well. But I also wanted to know before we get into a couple of things. First I want to do a shout out of a mom in our community who actually was on the call that you're about to listen to. Her name is Jamie, and then I also want to answer some questions that I've just been getting about the elite mental game. You're going to hear some of these answers in the call, but I think it's important just because I've been getting them so much in my DMs and in my inbox that I just address them right away because you might have a question. So first the shout out this is for Jamie. She texted us. We have a coach on call texting aspect to our program, so we have moms and athletes texting in and we're on the other end responding back. She said big win to share.

Speaker 1: 3:40

My daughter had a horse show, so she is an equestrian athlete. This past weekend the judges rewarded her for keeping her poise and confidence on quite challenging horses. She even walked out with a smile. Her coach complimented her for being able to stick with the plan even when things weren't going perfect.

Speaker 1: 3:58

I love that because oftentimes athletes think like everything has to be just so in order for them to play well or perform well or compete well. It's like they've got to have the perfect warmup, the crowd has to be on task, or like the people in the crowd can't distract them, or the ref has to make sure they make the certain calls, and they start to like blame anything bad that happens on all these other things that are out of their control. But the thing about being an athlete is that things aren't going to go perfectly all the time, especially for athletes like Jamie Stoddard, who has a horse thrown into the mix. Okay, so things aren't always going to go well, and I tell athletes in the program and all the time that the greatest skill that you can have as an athlete is adaptability being able to meet whatever moment you're in, with the confidence, knowing that you can get through it. And athletes rely on things like their snapback routine. They rely on their mantras, their self-talk, in those moments where they're faced with things that aren't going perfectly, so that they can show up and still do their best. So congratulations, jamie. This is a huge win. All right, real quick. I want to answer some questions about the elite mental game.

Speaker 1: 5:03

So EMG is our self-paced online training program for girl athletes. It is proven to increase mental strength and confidence. It is accessed through a super easy to use platform that can be accessed from any device. So a lot of our athletes use it either on their phone or their parents' phone, or on an iPad or computer. They can access it anywhere. They have their own login, they log in and they come to a training portal that has very short, easy to watch and consume trainings of skills that help them in their sport but honestly in their life too. So skills that are rooted in sports psychology, like visualization, breath work, self-talk, reframing thoughts, pre-competition routines, post-competition routines, tryout prep, post-season prep there's a lot in there but it's in a very manageable and easy way for athletes to go through.

Speaker 1: 5:54

I was a teacher for 12 years. I have a master's in education. I am a head coach still. So I get the teen brain. I connect really well with athletes. They like the trainings because they're short, they're engaging and then they also are interacting inside the training portal. So after every training and I think I already said this, but the trainings are between like three and 15 minutes they're responding in the portal and they're getting coaching from me right back. So that's also really great because they can also see that there's hundreds and thousands of other athletes that are in the program as well and they're seeing their comments and seeing like oh, wow, you know, this is really cool Like other athletes are commenting on this as well.

Speaker 1: 6:32

We recommend our training program. We have a training program in there that athletes can follow if they like, if they want more restructure, and in their training program it is we just recommend 30 minutes a week or a couple of minutes a day so they can follow that training plan to do 30 minutes a week of mental training or just a couple of minutes a day doing their daily mindset routine, called the 3-2-1 Brave. That they learn in phase two of the program and that is what helps them just keep their mental training top of mind. So 30 minutes a week is for most athletes pretty manageable. It's not very much time. At that pace they get through most of the content in about three months. But honestly, they can go slower, they can go faster and it's designed to grow with them through their sport and something that they can revisit as they grow through their sport.

Speaker 1: 7:13

In fact, we tell athletes at the end make sure that every time you start a new season or you know whether you're transitioning from high school to club or a different sport, that you do phase two again, because phase two is where they set their goals, they set their affirmations, they adjust their daily mindset routine. It's going to change from season to season and from sport to sport and you also might have an athlete who is maybe not dealing with you know, for example, perfectionism or comparison right now, in this moment. Maybe you have a younger athlete who's not facing those things yet, but she will down the road and we have the program designed so that she can go back to those sections when she needs it as well. And Kim is actually going to talk about that and how her daughter is utilizing that, because she started the program when she was a sophomore and now she's a senior going off to play college basketball, and how she's revisiting parts of the program. All right, another common question that I get is what age is this good for? So we recommend around 11 to 12 is a really good starting place to start working on your daughter's mental game. If she's not already by the time she's getting into 15, 16, then she's likely being passed up by athletes who are and or she's not playing to her potential and you're probably seeing this like her thoughts about herself and her mind. That's holding her back, especially in those big moments when it matters. And so we recommend, you know, 11 to 12 is good starting place. We have athletes in the program all the way up through college, so the content is applicable for that age range. But we also have a live component that I'm going to talk about and the live coaching component. In the group calls are split by age because there are some nuances when it comes to an 11 and 12 year old to like junior and senior in high school. But 11 to 18 is our age range that we typically recommend. We have had as young as eight in the program.

Speaker 1: 8:51

If you have an athlete who is on the super young side, I don't think it's ever too early to start introducing the skills of visualization and self-talk. You know, my daughter's six and we're already talking about those things we're visualizing before her gymnastics, because she really wants to get a skill. And so we're like, okay, let's add in a little of this mindset. And how are you talking about yourself and how are you talking about yourself in relation to that skill? So she's super young and she's not going to be doing the program until she's probably 10 or 11. And then there's the whole. You know, coming from mom, that's a whole nother thing, because a lot of moms who are in the program are like, well, she's not listening to me, but she will listen to Coach Bree. So there's that. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it with my own daughter. But if you do have an athlete on the younger end, I just recommend that you do the athlete side of the program more with her. So a lot of our younger kiddos are doing it like once a week with their parents. So they'll sit down together. They have like a date at Starbucks and they do it together, just so that you can see kind of how she's tracking. The program also has a little workbook that they can follow along with. If your athlete again likes that structure, she can also just use a journal as she's going through. But it's just another layer of really simple accountability so she can kind of keep her progress as she's going through the program.

Speaker 1: 9:55

Another question I get is this good for all the athletes in my household? And yes, the license is good for every athlete in your household, including your spouse or your partner. We recommend that partners. We have an aspect of the program that's just for parents as well, so that you two are on the same page as much as possible when it comes to addressing your athlete and so you know you have access for your partner, your spouse and then every athlete as well under your roof. So one price is good for everybody. They all get their own login so they can track their own progress.

Speaker 1: 10:23

It is another question to get off. That is like. What about boys? Yes, the strategies are applicable to boy athletes. Most of the imagery throughout is of girl athletes. So, as long as he's okay with, that should be good. All of the language, though, is gender neutral, so the visualizations are gender neutral. All of the trainings are gender neutral. I was intentional when we actually, like, did a revamp of the program a couple or not even that about a year ago, because I know that there are boys coming through, there are siblings coming through, so try as much as possible to make it gender neutral so that these skills can be applicable to boys as well, because they are and they work, and we have had plenty of boys come through.

Speaker 1: 10:57

Okay, another question I get often is how long do we have access? You have lifetime access to the content and, again, that's by design so that it can grow with her throughout her sport, and you can always revisit. Let's see how long does it take? Well, if you follow the training plan, it takes about 30 minutes a week, but, honestly, she can go faster, she can go, and just doing a little bit goes a long way. So the daily mindset routine even if she's just doing the daily mindset routine, you know that takes five minutes on the days that she's practicing and competing and that, honestly, is enough to make sure that she is keeping her mental training top of mind. She's doing daily. Mindset includes breath work, visualization, her affirmations, like it has enough in it to where she's keeping it top of mind. So a little bit goes a long way when it comes to mental training.

Speaker 1: 11:41

Okay, this question is there a live component? Is there live coaching? So a lot of the majority of the content in the program is accessed via the training portal and she can go in there at self-paced works with her busy schedule. But a lot of moms are like well, what about live coaching? I think my daughter would benefit from that. Now, aside from the coaching that we give her inside our training portal, we also include three free months of live support and coaching for her that you can activate anytime. So those three free months what live support looks like for athletes is that they get access to our live calls that happen two times a month. So the first call of the month is a mindset and a Q&A call. Those are the ones that are split by age. So athletes, come on, we give them a little mindset tip so they can focus on that for the week and then we answer their questions and athletes have phenomenal questions. Your daughter can participate as much or as little as she wants.

Speaker 1: 12:31

We have athletes that are you know the whole range of it. You know the whole range of it, you know. We have athletes who are coming off mute, asking their questions, engaging a lot. We have athletes who are just engaging in the chat. We have athletes who submit their questions ahead of time and then just listen for the answer. And then we have athletes who are just listening and taking it in, and that's totally fine. If your athlete cannot make a live call, we actually pop this on a private podcast that she can access afterwards. It's also in our training portal, so that makes it easy. We do it timestamped and everything so that she can. If she did submit a question, she can fast forward to that part.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So that's the first call of the month, and the second call of the month we bring in a guest speaker. So either a college athlete, an Olympic athlete, professional athlete or a guest expert in a field that is related to athletes. So things like nutrition, recovery, hydration, confidence, body image, all all of these things that are that influence your daughter's confidence. We bring in those guest experts and those are really fun because athletes just get another perspective as well. So another piece to the live coaching is coach on call texting. So when you activate your live support, your athlete is connected with one of our elite competitor coaches and we check in with her every week via text. And if she doesn't have a phone, totally fine, we also text you, the parent, and check in with you. So we text her a little tip to focus on and we ask her like how are things going in EMG, any wins, any competitions coming up? And then she can respond back and athletes love this because it's kind of like a non-confrontational way to get coaching and also to vent to somebody if she needs it, and our certified elite competitor coach is on the other end of that, responding to her, giving her coaching. You know, some athletes are just like I've got a competition coming up and I'm feeling nervous, like got any tips? And she can use that as a resource With this as well.

Speaker 1: 14:11

With the live coaching, you as the parent also get support, so you get to join our community of sports moms, which is just phenomenal. We have like the most amazing parents in our community and instead of three months, we actually give you lifetime access to that community so that you can continue to ask your questions and get support. You also get access to our private podcast for sports parents. We do weekly tips on there, so it's really great. I, if you're like anything like me, like I always always have a podcast on when I'm driving or walking, and this private podcast for you is great because it's updated weekly and you can just always have your thing, your weekly tip, to focus on. You also have access to Coach On Call texting so you can text any of our coaches if you need support or help. So we just really give you a really good wraparound support for you and your athlete when that live support is activated.

Speaker 1: 14:55

So again, the first three months are free and you can activate it at any time. So if you want to jump in but you want to activate it, like maybe when she's more closer, like in season or something like that, totally fine. Lots of parents do that. You just let us know when you want to activate it. The last question I'll answer and I talk about this with the moms as well is how do I get her bought into it? So typically what a lot of parents do is they jump in when we have a special like this because we don't run it very often where we're discounting the program and we have some bonuses so they jump in to kind of grab all of the discounts.

Speaker 1: 15:25

And then also you get started on your side of the program. It's not like it's extensive, but there's really great content in there for you to just be aware of how you're approaching your daughter's athletic experience. What you're saying, what you're not saying, the timing of things and just you kind of working on yourself in that way changes her. And so a lot of moms just start with their side of the program. They're like, oh, wow, this is actually making a difference. And then you can enroll your athlete at any time. That works. So if you're like, okay, she's ready, I'm going to enroll her, make sure she has a login.

Speaker 1: 15:56

Once athletes get going, they just start with the warmup section of the program. It's super short, engaging. They hear from alumni, they hear from me. We frame it in a way that is really positive for them on why they're doing this and how this is actually allowing them to separate themselves as an athlete. This is what the best athletes do. They're typically hooked and then they get going. And the way we structure the program is we put the snapback routine in phase one. This is their routine to help them get over mistakes in seconds. We intentionally put that at the very beginning because it's the easiest skill to learn and the most effective. And so athletes learn their snapback routine, they get going with it and they're like, wow, this actually works and then that also hooks them to keep going.

Speaker 1: 16:33

A lot of moms, too, are like you know what? We activated the live support. She went to a live call and that was what got her hooked. She got to see there's other athletes Like. She got to connect with me, with coach Taylor, our other athlete coach, and she was like that was great. So there's a lot of ways that where athletes are just naturally able to buy into the program when they just get started.

Speaker 1: 16:51

But we also have some resources for you. We have a conversation starter guide that I'll link in the show notes. That just gives you some ways to bring it up. We have some podcast episodes that she can listen to that are just from me or from alumni, or I interviewed my state champion captains. We've been on state for the past four years and I've been doing mental training with these girls for the past six years, so they're very used to it and they talk about how mental training helped them, especially in the state championship. So hearing it from peers, hearing it from athletes who are, like you know, crushing it, and how mental training is helping them do that, all of those really help athletes kind of get bought in. But do you know she doesn't need to be 100% bought in at the beginning. She'll get there. We also have some guarantees in place that within 14 days if she's not seeing results you're not seeing results, you're not seeing results then you get your money back. We also have the option for you to schedule a call with one of our coaches. Sometimes it's just helpful to have an athlete connect like all right, you just connect with somebody in person and Coach Saylor is great as well. She does most of those connection calls. She's great at relating to athletes and helping them see like the value of the program. Saylor is not too far removed from being a college athlete herself, so a lot of athletes just find value in that as well.

Speaker 1: 17:59

So those are the common questions that I get asked, but if you have others again. You're going to learn a lot just from hearing from the other moms. But if you have other questions about EMG, if it'll work for your daughter. I mean, we've had all sorts of different sports represented. We've had over 3000 athletes come through the program that play all different sports and even some that don't play sports. We have like theater, we have students who are competing in or performing in theater or competing in mock trial and they still have to deal with all the same thoughts of you know, am I good enough, am I going to be able to do this? Nervousness, all of those things, and so we have those type of kids come through the program as well. So we've had all different sports individual sports, individual sports, team sports represented. But if you do have a specific question, you can email us at hello at elitecompetitorcom, or you can always DM me at elitecompetitorcoach.

Speaker 1: 18:47

All right, I hope that you enjoy this episode and you love hearing from this moms as much as I loved having them on the podcast. Welcome, it's good to be here. Live with you. We have Kim here who is an EMG mom, and we were just chatting that she is like an OG EMG. Her and her daughter, lila, have been in the program for two years. So you're going to hear from Kim a little bit, and then Jamie is here as well, and Jamie's on the other end of it, right, like more of the beginning stage, and so I'm really excited that you get to hear from both of their perspectives, not just about EMG, but also what they're doing, how their daughters are slowly or quickly developing confidence and how that's translating to their sport. And then I just saw Don pop in as well, so I'll be introducing them in a second. We'll be for you three. I'll have you as we were chatting. I'll throw some questions your way and then those of you that are here listening as you have questions, pop them in the chat. I had a few submitted ahead of time, so I'll answer those, but pop those in the chat as you're going. This questions can be related to EMG, but also to like anything that's come up in the past week as you're considering, like your daughter, and just anything that's coming up. This is a Q&A, your chance to get us live and get your questions answered.

Speaker 1: 20:04

Okay, nikki, definitely tried to try the snapback but didn't quite work yet. Yeah, oh, nikki, you actually joined the program and so you're like brand new, did love the pregame handshake and words though. Oh nice, yeah. And the thing about the snapback is that she's going to learn it and then we say you've got to practice it in low stakes environments first. So we even have them in practice like every water break. Do your snapback routine, like even in moments where you wouldn't really think to use it, so that they can build that muscle and then use it when it matters Okay, matters in the big moments. Use it when it matters Okay, matters in the big moments. And that is one of the routines.

Speaker 1: 20:43

When I if you've listened to the podcast I talked about our state championship not too long, three weeks ago, we won state again, but I was like blown away, and it was. It totally came down to mental training. It was like the other team that we were playing oh my gosh, they were better than us Like they were definitely the stronger team. And when it came down to those pressure moments, like they started falling apart, I was like, oh my gosh, this is unfolding before my eyes. They're hitting the ball in the net, they're doing all and like we're over here, we've got this sophomore who's never played in a state tournament before serving match point like ice in her veins and I asked her afterwards. I was like what was going through your head? And she was like so proud to hear, and she even told the paper that too, she like the reporters and yeah, it does work. She's just got to practice it, okay.

Speaker 1: 22:59

I asked my daughter how she wants us to support her during competition and she actually responded, she engaged in the question rather than ignoring me. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's one of the simplest things that you can do also is just ask, and sometimes we're like, okay, she's not going to have any opinion, but they do, like a lot of the athletes inside EMG, when I'm in the portal and they have to respond to that question on, like what they want from their parents pre, during and post. They have all sorts of answers in there. So, yeah, it might be worth just asking.

Speaker 1: 23:26

I'm going to have our wonderful guests introduce themselves and then I'm going to toss some questions their way to just answer what's going on in EMG, where are you at, what's your daughter learning, like all of those type of things, and then I will leave time for all sorts of Q and A. So, moms, as you're listening, if you just came in, put your questions in the chat and we'll get to all of them. They don't have to be related to EMG they can be, but if you want a coaching question, just put it in there. Okay, let's start with Jamie. You're first on my screen. Can you introduce yourself all the athletes that you have in your household, their ages and what sports they play?

Speaker 3: 24:02

Sure, yeah, I'm Jamie. I'm from Michigan. My daughter is Haley. She's 13. She's been riding and showing horses pretty much in utero. I was pretty competitive in my college in early 20s and 30 days not so much anymore. She stole my horse actually. And then just the past few years she started playing volleyball and that brought in a whole new element of things I was not prepared to handle with the team aspect of it. So this has been cool for us. And then I have a son who's five and he's just starting with wrestling and I'm discovering boy sports are completely different as well.

Speaker 1: 24:38

So you've got it from all different angles. Yeah, very cool. That equestrian volleyball combo is like surprisingly common. I don't know. Yeah, I know I've had a lot of athletes who are like volleyball players and equestrian volleyball combo is like surprisingly common. I don't know. Yeah, I know I've had a lot of athletes who are like volleyball players and equestrian athletes Also. Side note, my mom got my kids for Christmas these like stick horses and I was looking it up. There's apparently this whole like hobby horse thing Totally not what your daughter is doing. But I went down this bunny trail of like wait, are you thinking they're actually going to be like doing performances at my competitions and getting judged for this? I don't know. I don't know, but we'll see. I'm like all right, mom, this one's a little a little around the holidays she gets a little extra. All right, kim, can you please introduce yourself?

Speaker 2: 25:22

Yes, good, I was about to say good afternoon, but for some people it might be morning, so good, whatever it is for you. So my name is Kim Donnelly school when she and I went through the live portion of the program. So we've been here for a minute and we continue to utilize all of the content that we've learned here and all of the tools and all of the resources, even as Lila's progressed over the last couple of years. So I'm happy to be here and hopeful to answer any questions and be of assistance to anyone who is just wondering what they should be doing or what this has meant for other people. So happy to be here and share.

Speaker 1: 26:13

Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 4: 26:14

Okay, and Dawn, hi there, my name is Dawn. I have a daughter who is 11 and she is an ice hockey goaltender and she plays AAA boys hockey hockey so pretty intense level of play and she loves it.

Speaker 1: 26:32

So I'm here to help her out and facilitate her, and using EMGs really helped her out for the mental game for sure yeah, and I'm excited to hear kind of any updates since last time the daughter pro panelist and I love that your daughter is she's playing a sport, that is, she's playing a voice, so it's like predominantly she's just a little bit of a different and a goaltender too.

Speaker 1: 26:54

Yes, yeah, so yeah all sorts, all sorts of things that she could be potentially working through. Yes, it's great. Okay, and I know all of you, like you, already mentioned different sports, also different stages, different level of engagement that your daughter has in the program, which is great, because we need to hear it all.

Speaker 1: 27:11

Okay, my first question I'm going to have all three of you answer this one is what did interest you in EMG before joining TAM Kim? I know you sort of answered a little bit of that, but what was the thing that you were like? Oh, this actually could be useful either for me or for my daughter.

Speaker 3: 27:32

What was the thing that was getting you interested, jamie? I'll start with you. Oh sure, so, like I said, haley took over my horse and she's very athletic, she's competed at some of the highest levels, but very sensitive. And I noticed, when we hit like that 11 year old mark with Haley, like a lot of kind of weird things were going on with her and the horse and the horse was getting kind of nervous and amped up and pinpointed that it was her. So at that point I was trying to figure out how to help her and support her and not say, yeah, it is your fault that the horse is being bad.

Speaker 3: 27:56

That was where I started that journey and then, when we started volleyball a few years ago, it was just like a whole different dynamic with the girls from school and that drama that got brought in. And then going through that age as a girl and wondering what happened to my happy-go-lucky kid that was now screaming at me after tournaments and saying she hates everyone and angry, sobbing, and I had no idea how to help her and everything I said was wrong. So I don't even know, I wasn't even really looking at anything, but it just popped up on a Facebook feed that I was scrolling through and I started watching some of the early content and I was like if, even though she doesn't buy into it, I think it's something that will help me. So I jumped in.

Speaker 1: 28:36

Yeah, that's great and that's super common too. I love that you mentioned it's different from every sport too, but equestrian athletes and like working with horses and kind of like that dynamic with their horse is very different than like a volleyball team. Dynamic sports with like drama and teenage girls and all of that. And you brought up something common as well, like with her being irritable or taking out some of her emotions on you, like that's also like what the heck is happening and likely, as we'll probably hear, it's some insecurities or things that she's working through because she wants to do well and that's what's coming out. But, yeah, very common. Okay, kim, and let's see it looks like Kim's answering.

Speaker 1: 29:14

We have a question in the chat about like dancers, competitive dance, musical theater and yes, we've had both. We've had a lot of different sports represented and we've even had some non-traditional. We've had theater athletes. We've had athletes who are in like mock trial or more of these, like they have to perform and be competitive, but it's not necessarily a sport, but they're still performing. So their performance base, they still deal with nerves and pressure and all the thoughts of am I good enough to be out here? I'm going to mess this up. Yes, we have had competitive dancers, cheerleaders. Yeah, and thank you for answering that, kim. What about boys? Okay, yeah, and a lot of these techniques are helpful for boys too.

Speaker 1: 29:50

Jamie, you're too young for this I was going to say wait, you have some, but it's five. But yeah, we've had a lot of boy siblings come through. We just decided early on that we were specializing in the girl experience as they go through sports. So that's why you'll see some of our branding although not super feminine, we do have like images of girl athletes. But all of the all the visualizations and all the trainings are gender neutral. So we've had a lot of boys come through very successfully. It kind of depends on his age and maturity level. If he's okay with the images mostly being of girl athletes, then he's going to be just fine, but if he's, oh, it's all girls, which is so funny because as girls, we like see images of boys and we're like, okay, whatever, you know, we just apply it to ourselves. But you would know your son best to know if he would be okay with that. Okay, kim, what interested you in the beginning? If we can bring us, bring you back to sophomore.

Speaker 2: 30:35

Bring me back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I will always remember because it was such a moment. So Lila had been playing competitively for a number of years and just that transition from middle school to high school, in the ages that you're then competing against, is a big leap right, Both emotionally, physically, mentally. And she had heard repeatedly from coaches Lila, you're great, Just be confident. Just, we believe in you, Be confident. We had heard that from coaches, trainers, all kinds of people.

Speaker 2: 31:04

The problem was no one was able to provide her with tools or resources or the ability to teach her. I can remember a moment with Lilo where she was just breaking down crying like don't these people think that if I knew how to be confident, I would be doing that because I don't like what's happening to me out here right now? So that is what really drew me to looking into this program and discovering that the way Brie teaches and the things that they're able to gain in technique and tool and resources really enabled Lila to finally have a toolbox to go to to build the confidence that everyone was telling her just go be confident. And that's what was differentiating about this and why we are here.

Speaker 1: 31:46

Yeah, I love that. We talked about that. We talked about that. We talked about it a lot. And, as a coach myself, I I did that before I knew that there was actual skills that athletes could develop. I was like you're so talented, you just need to believe in yourself and shake it off. Just go out there and be confident. And if it was that simple, like they would just do that, yeah, love that confident. And if it was that simple, like they would just do that, yeah, love that so relatable. Okay, don, how about you? What drew you?

Speaker 4: 32:11

um, uh, the big. The big one for me, I think, would be a program, uh, for parents, right, the ability to help your kid and be a good mom of somebody in sports, because I found it hard I know I said this before but for a goaltender who's out playing games, the coach is really there for the players and not so much the goaltender right, so she was really on her own a lot in games because her goalie coach is fully separate from the team. So I always felt like I had to take on that role but it didn't feel right to me. So using your program to have the right words and have the right ability to support her, I think, was the big one. And then, as I was going through it, she of course watched and learned and she just took on the program so nicely, so it worked out really well.

Speaker 1: 32:57

Yeah, yeah, she did take to it. Well, and you were going to be a point about, like her specific position and how. That's a little bit different. It reminds me of tennis athletes and golf athletes and even those competitive dancers that, like their coaches, aren't like right there. A lot of times I hear from tennis moms and tennis athletes that are like she doesn't have her coach, even with her, and so like I have to be the coach, or you know, or she's out on the course all by herself, and now she's out there, I don't know what she's doing, and that's when she's tending to spiral or fall apart.

Speaker 1: 33:29

So, yeah, having skills that she can actually fall back on, so important, okay, my next question I will put this to everybody is what'd you start to notice? And this could be from a variety of ways. So, jamie, I know and you can totally be honest, I want you to, I want all the moms to kind of see how all of the different approaches of this program and how it works. Some moms are coming in and they're just doing their part and their daughter's not quite ready to engage yet. Some are like we're doing it, daughter's in and she's doing the work and getting results. It's all what works for your family. I would say, most typically, daughters come in, athletes come in, sons come in whatever, and they just like log in and start doing the work and that's how it goes, but that's not how it goes.

Speaker 1: 34:05

I do want to hear where have the wins started to happen? What have you noticed? Has there been anything that stood out as like oh yeah, this is actually something that has helped us within the first, however long that you've been in the program. So, jamie, I'll start with you.

Speaker 3: 34:20

Yeah, it was really tough and still is a little bit of struggle to get her to commit to doing the program weekly. I think the turning point really. We had some family stuff going on when I started and it was really about a month or two in before she could participate in any of the athlete level up calls and I wish we'd delayed that a little bit. But once she got into those athlete level up calls she really started opening up a little bit more and it started to click with her and she didn't really say much about it to me afterwards. I was like, oh yeah, it was really cool. But then I went back and listened to the playback and I was almost in tears to see how engaged she was in like answering questions and giving suggestions to other athletes and that was like the turning point for us.

Speaker 1: 35:05

Yeah, oh, I love that you said that, because that is the journey of a lot of athletes the level of life support that Jamie's talking about. You have three months free and you can activate that at any time, so if you do want to delay it for after the holidays or whatever, but it does allow athletes to come to live calls two times a month and they're super informal. Athletes participate at whatever level works for them. Some are like camera off, they're just listening. Some are participating in the chat, some are camera on, they're off, mute and talking. It all just depends.

Speaker 1: 35:34

The middle school ones are actually pretty lively, they're like bringing their pets and animals on. And then the high school ones in college are they're just. I'm like, are you there? And but I taught high school through the pandemic, so I was like I'm just used to this zoom screen thing. But yeah, sometimes all that's all it takes is athletes like engaging in a live call and being like, oh, there's other athletes and yeah, and I was, I think, on one of the calls and saw her participating and she was awesome, like totally engaged, so that's really great. All right, what did you notice? And I do want to hear, like now that it is two years removed. Like what are you noticing still?

Speaker 2: 36:08

Yeah, yeah, great. So obviously early on I'll go back early on, when we were actually actively participating in the program a couple years ago Some of the things that it looked like to me on the court as a mom. She was a basketball player, I think I said that but when what I was recognizing in her is a lot of hesitation, right, she wasn't trusting herself, she was turning a ball over, she wasn't making decisions quickly, she was not attacking things the way I knew her to do that. So that's what it looked like as far as how does this confidence come out? What are we seeing on the court? And so when she was able to engage in the program and started to learn, I started to see those things open up for her again. She wasn't overthinking, she was just getting in what they will call their flow state and she was just not thinking and just playing and doing what instinctively and reactively felt like playing basketball to her again. So that's and Lila really used we teach.

Speaker 2: 37:00

I know the setback routine comes very early in the program and is a quick win for the athletes and Lila really benefited by learning that and really practicing it and applying it. And I could see her because I know what her routine was. I can see her doing the things and you can see this mindset shift happen physically for them on the court, which is awesome. So those are early wins inside the program I would love to share because, like mentioned, we have been at this for two years.

Speaker 2: 37:27

My daughter was a youngster on the team and now is actually a captain leading a team, so she's running into all different types of scenarios now as a leader inside of that team. So she's been able to come back to the content, come back to the programs, listen again from a position of leadership to a lot of what she originally learned for herself and now how she can actually help some of her teammates with those types of things too. So there's just so much that she's learned from this program that's been applied, yes, to her sport, but also to things outside of the sport, in just growth and development as a young female athlete. It's just been really special for us and our relationship as well. Brie, I'll cut myself off with just sharing those couple of quick wins, but certainly there's lots for me to share wherever and wherever questions are most suited to the guests that are on the call today.

Speaker 1: 38:21

Yeah, I would love to hear I don't know if you're comfortable sharing you said something recently popped up that you were like okay, we're going back to the trainings. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 38:29

Yeah, I think that now, as a senior captain, the coach is very. What she will say to Lila is that she's really driving her to get the most and the best out of her. But for Lila that means nine of the 10 things that she does right she doesn't get to hear about, but it's the one out of the 10 things that she could still do better that she's hearing about. And so my daughter is one of those that needs the pat on the back every now and then to just keep pressing through those types of things. And it used to be that she was reliant upon coaches to do those things for her.

Speaker 2: 39:02

But now that coaches are trying to challenge her to do the next level work, she's finding that she's had to revisit some of that content and get those confidence builders from within and understanding perspective from the coach that it's not that she's saying you're not good at the other nine things, and she's not always going to tell you that you're good at the nine things. She's going to pick apart the one out of love and want for you to get better right. We hear a lot of coaches do that. That's what they'll say, but my athlete was one that's. But I need a pat on the back every now and then. So she was struggling a little bit in the last couple of weeks, Brie, just trying to remind herself of those situations and what she has the power to do for herself in those moments of challenge.

Speaker 1: 39:47

Yeah, that's so good and to be able to come back and revisit some of the things, and the trainings are super short too. So the things that came to mind when you were saying that we do have a leadership section inside the program, especially for those athletes that do assume leadership roles or are working toward that, that we have a whole leadership section. We also have a challenging coaches bonus in there. So when I say challenging coaches, it doesn't necessarily mean like a bad coach, but like coaching by nature is critique, and a lot of athletes have a hard time, especially if they are an empath and are like wait, wait, wait. I'm being corrected. I'm only hearing the negative, like how to reframe that. And then, just even in phase two, where athletes go through a process, they go through the tear process and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 40:30

What's the thought? Or, before that, what's the situation? Situation is I'm not getting, I'm only hearing negative. What's the thought, what's the emotion, what's the action, what's the result? And just like taking that thought through that process is a 10 minute reframe of okay. Here's why this thought is not productive when it comes to the situation, here's how I can change it, and so those are just like quick things that athletes can come back to when they're realizing like I'm being held hostage by this thought or by this situation and I need to change my perspective on it. So love that, dawn. What did you start to notice?

Speaker 4: 41:05

For Paige definitely right away was the snapback, for sure. It's a pretty obvious thing as a goaltender if you let a goal in right, that is your weight to bear. So she'd really done very well at the snapback and just moving on, and it's made for really quite successful games. Now, like it's, her mental game is there for the whole three periods, which is amazing. Her mental game is there for the whole three periods, which is amazing. It's also given her a lot of confidence outside of hockey as well. She's doing really good at school and she's a house leader and she's really taking on all these cool roles with her confidence. She also is pretty instrumental in her team as well as far as the leadership role, so she's really taking it on. I think another cool part about it, too, is she really takes it all like her training right. She puts herself to bed early, she eats well, like she's really taking it as a whole approach to like not just being in that. It's really fun to watch, yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:01

That's so great, like she's totally taking responsibility for, like her results and what she's getting. That's so awesome. And you're probably all of it. All of you are in the same stage. But athletes in phase two learn a daily mindset routine. So, depending on if your athlete likes the routine of, I'm going to do something for five minutes every day. We call it the three, two, one brave, and it's just a super easy way for athletes to keep their mental training top of mind in a journal. You know three affirmations that they find they develop. It's not just like I am smart, I am strong, I'm capable, like they come up with these affirmations based on what they want in their sport. Two minutes of journaling if they want just to free right, and one thing they're grateful for we know the research around gratitude and how that helps your doing that and they're finding the good and they are like practicing gratitude that they show up and they play better, and then one piece of evidence that one of those affirmations is coming true. So, again, hunting the good, putting their brain to work to find like the evidence that I am improving in these areas, and then they do a quick visualization called brave, and that's like a simple thing that, even as athletes are going through the program learning skills, it's just one of those anchors that they can do before they compete, before practice, like hey, three, two, one brave, is just like a really simple way for them to do mental training in five minutes or less.

Speaker 1: 43:17

Okay, and then there I see a good question. This might be a good one for moms to answer. I'll ask it, I'll put it out and then I'm going to actually ask a different question. I just want you to marinate on it. If you were the mom, what would you do?

Speaker 1: 43:29

This one's from Danny. She says my daughter's 15, plays competitive travel soccer in high school basketball. She's usually on her phone pre and post competition. One of my rules is to not be on the phone because there's no processing or thinking. This has been a power struggle and doesn't always work. How can I transform the dynamic? Any suggestions? Do you have to handle the phone?

Speaker 1: 43:47

Distractions takes away from conversation. She doesn't like anything I say or my questions, which I'm guessing she's just like very into the phone. So I just want that to. I'm gonna throw it out there, marinate and then I'll ask him second, like if anyone has any perspective. A couple of things are coming to mind for me, but my next question that I have is let's see, let's go with just oh, it's kind of general, but you can be specific with it Favorite part of the program, and this could be from like what your daughter's learning, or just from what you're learning. It could be one aspect of it, like I like the live calls or I like that it's easy to use on a platform, whatever it is, just like anything that pops out to you when you hear that. So, jamie, I'll start with you pops out to you when you hear that.

Speaker 3: 44:28

So, jamie, I'll start with you. Really, we're going to set work so early. It's just the ease of use and the small, bite-sized nuggets. I don't have a ton of time, so a lot of mine is done listening to podcasts on my commute into work and I only go into the office two days a week. So just having stuff, even if you've just got a few minutes, being able to watch a session or watch a quick tip or that daily just positive reminder from you guys, from the coaches and then also the other moms chiming in, it's just a really positive, encouraging environment and even if you've only got five minutes to do something, you can get that little bit of a quick win and positivity for the day to keep going.

Speaker 1: 45:05

Yeah, I love that. I'm always like on my phone, not on my phone I'm always listening to a podcast, Like when I'm walking or driving somewhere I'm like, okay, what can I? And so that's how we actually created the private podcast for moms. So all moms in EMG actually have lifetime access to a private podcast and we put a quick win on there every week. So we rotate through our coaches doing a quick win every week. And even that for the moms is great, because you have something loaded in your private pocket, like in your podcast player, every single week that you can listen to to keep it top of mind. And then athletes actually have the same thing. So they have a private podcast that they can have access to. It's just super simple. Everything, something is always in there for them to listen to. And then the program itself, like you said, the trainings, like our. The attention span is just not there.

Speaker 1: 45:50

So, we're like we can't make these any longer. When we actually first had the program like this has been we've had it for about six years it was, they were like 45 minute trainings and they had to like sit down and listen and we just were finding athletes weren't like making it through and so we're like let's do three minutes, let's do five minutes, and so that you can cause even just one little thing is enough to have them like think a little bit differently for the rest of that day. So okay, kim, how about you? Favorite part or favorite parts?

Speaker 2: 46:16

Okay, yeah, good question, tough to answer, I think we talked a little bit about it. But the community I think it's so important for the athletes going through these types of things to understand they're not alone. So that time together with other athletes is very valuable and I think once they understand that they're not alone, like that sense of community just carries through, whether they're engaging with the community all the time or not. Just the awareness like, oh gosh, I'm not the only one going through this is really important. And both from the athlete side and the mom's side, like as a mom okay, there are other moms out here that are struggling with this, I'm not alone, lean on each other, that type of thing. So the community here, I think, has been one of the greatest things.

Speaker 2: 46:55

And then you mentioned the flexibility. Listen, all of the people on this call have busy lives. We have busy lives, our kids have busy lives. The fact that the content is flexible and the scheduling can be flexible in it enables these busy kids, athletes and families to really consume the content easily in a way that works for them. We did not stay on task, if you will. There were weeks where we had to press pause because we had other things going on, we just continued to hold each other accountable to getting through the content in a way and a manner and timeframe that worked for us. So the flexibility of the program is really also very advantageous over other things that I had potentially looked at as well.

Speaker 1: 47:37

Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up too, because we are so, so busy and we do have a training plan in the program. That breaks the program up to 30 minute chunks a week. So if athletes like to follow a plan then it's like hey, here you go, week one, these are the trainings, you can just check them off and it ends up being about 30 minutes a week. At that pace they get through most of the content in about three months. But athletes can go a lot faster than that. They can go slower than that, like it all just depends. Depends whatever fits into the schedule.

Speaker 1: 48:05

Or if it's like we've got a heavy week, lots of things going on, like right now, probably for the next three weeks. I mean, I guess it kind of varies from the times. It's like when we don't have school we have more time and then so we can like just do little, or we're only going to do three, two, one brave this week. We're just going to do that three times this week, or you can go a little bit heavier. Okay, dawn, what's your favorite?

Speaker 4: 48:24

I for Paige. She loves the level up calls. She just really enjoys those. And I think also for her, though, is the ability to text with coaches. She really utilizes that, and I think it's just a great outlet for her. That's not just me, right, and not her coach, but it's just another way for her to go through the experience and have help through it all. For me personally, though, I think it was that aha moment where it's not my journey, it's I'm here to facilitate her journey. That was the biggest one for me, because they always say goaltenders are a bit weird, and goaltender parents are even weirder. But you know, it just put it in the right perspective, where I'm like I'm just here to support you, and it's really helped us along the way just to get rid of that sort of anxiety, so I'm just a safe space for her. So it's been a really good journey that way.

Speaker 1: 49:16

Yeah, yeah, paige did bring. I love seeing her on like calls and she brought Jimmy the bunny to the call last Sunday, so cute. But yeah, I the sometimes parents come to the program moms and athletes and they're at a point where they're like I almost sort of wish she would quit her sport because it's like the strain that it's causing on our relationship is like I'm not even sure if it's worth it anymore. Like she's beating herself up, I'm trying to help her, she's getting mad at me, like it almost would be better if the sport was not in our lives because of our relationship. And I'm not saying that's where you and Paige were, but it made me think of okay, this is how parents, this is how it gets. That way is when we don't know how to interact with our athletes, when they are beating themselves up or getting mad at us or you know, and then it just becomes to this point where it's like down the road Now we're having to face this actually is like not good for our relationship. So I love that you are, you're taking it and you're like knowing your role as a sports parent, you have the things to say, because it really does impact your relationship.

Speaker 1: 50:14

Okay, I want to get to some of the questions that we have, and then I also will leave time if there's anything else you want to share. Kim, you do have something exciting to share. Do you want to share that actually right now?

Speaker 2: 50:33

You know Lila achieved a goal that she had for herself. Yeah, so Lila had aspired to play her sport at the next level. She plays soccer and basketball with for her high school, but she recently announced her commitment to play a division three basketball at the next level. So we are super excited about her ability to have set the goal for herself, achieved that and just all the growth. That has been hard work that it's taken to get here. So this was a big piece of the puzzle for Lila over the last three years and we're just so grateful that and we're excited to see this next four years and how that will unfold for her too.

Speaker 1: 51:02

Yeah, oh, my gosh, I'm so pumped for her. Okay, and then Bonnie, thank you for letting me know the pronunciation of your name. Okay, anyone have any thoughts on Bonnie's question around the phone? Did that spark anything for any of you?

Speaker 2: 51:17

Oh, the phone.

Speaker 1: 51:19

Yeah, Kim, you got anything?

Speaker 2: 51:20

Well I do think, going back to these concepts that are relationship busters. Obviously, depending on how old your child is, the phone is a big or bigger piece of their life and their experience. Right now I don't hold the psychology degrees or any sort of that to deal with the phone, but I will share, even at the high school level with the phone, but I will share, even at the high school level. Lila's coach executes a no phones on the way to the game policy. So at some point someone else aside from you might actually help to reinforce some of the messages about the phones.

Speaker 2: 51:55

But I don't disagree with the fact that maybe the phone is not a good place to be before a competition. But as far as how to effectively implement that, as a mom I don't have a good answer. Honestly, brief or something like that. Outside to just say you're not alone and trying to figure that one out and for that to be a point of contention outside of just sharing what your concerns are or why you think it's this way. But ultimately, again, it's their decision to make and if they're going to allow that to impact their game, then that might continue to be something that impacts their game. I don't know, don't have a good answer for that necessarily.

Speaker 1: 52:33

Yeah, you're on the right track, I think. I don't know if there's a right track for this, but you're on a similar thought pattern as what I have, but anything, dawn or Jamie that's coming up for you, yeah, I can only think of one instance where that sort of came up and it turned out to be not a very good game for her.

Speaker 4: 52:51

So afterwards the conversation was more like how do you feel you played? And she said I thought I could have done better and we related it to the pregame prep, right, and then that was kind of like for her to to sort of link the two things together, that maybe she just wasn't quite mentally ready to start the game, and then of course that was because she was on her phone. So we did have that moment. That might help too, where you can relate it to the abilities in the game.

Speaker 1: 53:17

Maybe yeah, yeah, I think that's great, jamie, anything coming up, no pressure, I'm pretty strict on the phone.

Speaker 3: 53:25

She's only 13 so she doesn't really have any social media access and it gets shut off at night and all that thing. But she does like to listen to a lot of music. She I let her listen to the music beforehand and she gets to pick the playlist and all that on the way to games and tournaments. But she's pretty self-disciplined herself so she knows, like when we go to volleyball tournaments, that the girls that are doing TikToks and doing silly things in between the pool play and the bracket play have issues going into the bracket play and it frustrates her because she's one that likes to watch and analyze the game and she'll volunteer to run the book and do things like that. So I think she's already pretty aware of the issue social meal cause and the phone's caused with other people. So we haven't crossed that bridge yet. We also share a youtube account so she knows I see everything that she watches and it's 99% volleyball. So we're not quite there with having an issue with it yet yeah, I.

Speaker 1: 54:21

I think that this is all good. That's where my mind was going when, like all of you actually said, like hit on some offshoots. But first it's like sometimes it's okay to have the natural consequence, and the problem is, what I think probably is popping up in your mind is like I'm not sure that she's connecting, that this is a natural consequence, like that. This is the thing that's causing the poor performance. Yet we do talk about phones in the pregame prep section and this actually would be a really good the next level up call. So they're two times a month. The first call of the month is like a mindset tip and then we do Q and a and the second call of the month is a guest speaker. So we bring in like an Olympic athlete or a college athlete or like a nutritionist or dietitian, something like that. But I'm going to do this for the January tip. I'm going to talk about phone use because it's a good idea.

Speaker 1: 55:05

So I'm going to write this idea down and then it'll come from me. We'll talk about pregame and you know what the effects are of like your phone and scrolling before and how that actually is not preparing you physiologically for competition. So I think what Kim said a lot of times, like coming from somebody else, if it can be really helpful and if it's not coming from the coach, yeah, we can do that. And then also, at some point this is, I think, the hardest part of I mean, my kids are still young and so I'm learning from you when it comes to this but I think it's the hardest to like watch them walk in. To be like this isn't helping you, but you've got to figure that out. And to be like this isn't helping you, but you've got to figure that out. And to some of the things you have to let go of and realize that, like, at some point she's going to realize that her performance is not where she wants it to be, and then we can help guide her to what do you think is impacting that? What are the things that you're doing that might be positively and negatively, and she just might not be there yet. I think that all of that combined is a good way to approach this. Unless you do have you're the parent, you can have strict rules around it. But, as Ken said, that also comes at. You know the cost of like the pregame and the relationship and all of those other things that we have to navigate as parents. So, yeah, karen, there were videos on negative impact of phone use, right, okay. And then Diana, we would love to have you in the program. Yeah, another hockey player, another hockey mom. There are actually several hockey moms in the community, so even having you in there in the group, we have a private Facebook group for the moms as well, and so it's just great to have that like support.

Speaker 1: 56:35

And then you mentioned the coach on call texting. So Paige uses that a lot, and so our coaches are. On the other end, it's actually just Sailor and I. So Sailor is our other elite competitor coach. She is certified mental performance coach. She played volleyball and ran track and cross country in college and she's actually not as far removed as I am from college athletics. She relates really well with the athletes.

Speaker 1: 56:55

But basically athletes can text back on that number. We check in with them every week. We give them a little mindset tip and then ask them like how are things going, do you have any competitions coming up, and they can text back, they can ask questions, they can vent, they can whatever they need. We're on the other end and we respond within 24 hours, monday through Friday. Sailor actually pops in on the weekends as well, and so that's just a great non-confrontational way for athletes to get coaching as well. A lot of times it's like a schedule issue and they're like I don't want to get on a zoom with somebody, you know like one-on-one. Um, it's just easier to like hey, I can just text and somebody is on the other end. So that's part of the level up live support as well. Okay, and then let's see. There's some other good questions in here from Karen. Oh, wait, no, I read that.

Speaker 1: 57:37

Okay, nikki, what are your thoughts on reviewing post-game recordings? My kids, both boy and girl Shay is my almost 11-year-old that is in the program now always wants to see her highlight videos, but also the could-do-better recordings after games. We try to focus on both good and improvement options. But is right after too soon to see this? I don't think so. I mean, I think as a coach too, I utilize film a lot when it comes to this. The research actually, though, says a lot around, it doesn't actually help athletes too much to watch them doing the skill wrong as much as watching either themselves or somebody else do the skill correctly. So I think that it does need to be a balance, and it's okay for kids to watch themselves doing something wrong. We don't need to protect them from like yeah, we like we make mistakes. We've got to be able to see what happened, but I do think having some sort of system to watch, which it sounds like you do Nikki around, okay, you need to pick out what are, you know what are five things that you did well, and maybe even distill it down to a certain skill or something like that.

Speaker 1: 58:40

And then here are the ways that you're. Here's the three things that you're going to focus on in practice for the next. I would even three is probably a little too much. Actually. Here's like the one thing after watching all this. Here's the one thing that you're going to focus on in practice, and I like the instead of this is what I didn't do. Well, it's it's like putting an action to it Like you're going to focus on this in practice in the next time that you go into train.

Speaker 1: 59:02

So I would just have like, even what I do with my athletes as a coach, is I, when we do film study, like I have a little sheet for them and they have to fill in the timestamps of all the things so that it's very directed. So I think actually it's effective. Oh yeah, is it too soon? We in the program we have a post-competition routine. She's obviously not there yet and I would actually have her do. I would do the post-competition routine before you do the film study, though, cause it helps separate the, takes the emotion out a little bit and then she can look at it more objectively, cause if she's just dealing also with like oh, I lost the game for us, right, and she's just going to be in this state, when she's watching that, to like only pull out the negative, so okay, this one I might throw to the moms.

Speaker 1: 59:47

Okay, karen, daughter's an interview. She's on a new competition team. She loves her teammates as they are super nice, but she doesn't communicate with them much at all, neither live or via text. She considers herself an outsider but isn't doing anything to move past that. What are some suggestions? Yeah, this one would be frustrating for me as a mom too, karen, because I'd be like obviously you're an outsider because you're not talking to them. Come on, okay, let's see Anything popping up. Kim, I feel like you might have thoughts on this one.

Speaker 2: 1:00:20

Yeah, I think my daughter tends to be a little bit more quiet, especially in a new environment.

Speaker 2: 1:00:22

So for me to challenge her or push her to do something other than be herself, just really had you know it kind of worked against me versus for me.

Speaker 2: 1:00:32

So I think sometimes we want to like fix these scenarios for our kids and say they needed to be doing more of this or that, but sometimes for them just the natural ease of coming into something new, maybe sitting back, observing things, figuring out where she might fit in or where and when she does feel comfortable, piping up.

Speaker 2: 1:00:51

So maybe she's doing all of that right now and you're just not. We just don't know how our kids are going to respond to new environments, because maybe this is the first time she's on this new competitive team. That can be overwhelming a little bit. So sometimes our athletes walk into those scenarios and they're bold and outgoing and others will sit back and kind of listen and learn and observe a little bit more. I think as a parent it's just like continue to support her and how she's handling that, asking questions. If she's telling you that she loves her team, like to me, it could still be a good sign, even though it doesn't feel right to us as a parent all the time, I would do it this way Just maybe some perspective on what I've experienced with my child being a little bit more introverted like yours.

Speaker 1: 1:01:35

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, any thoughts, dawn or Jamie, on this one?

Speaker 3: 1:01:40

Yeah, haley actually just started a new team a few weeks ago. This is her first year playing club and one of the struggles with the middle school team is that she'd been with these girls since kindergarten. So a lot of the drama and things were coming out from school and practices and she was struggling there. So she was actually pretty excited to start with the club and not know who anyone is. Pretty excited to start with the club and not know who anyone is, and she actually shared last week coming home from practice that she doesn't understand why she can be more outgoing with strangers than she can with people she knows. So she that on her own.

Speaker 3: 1:02:12

That was kind of on her and we kind of went into the club telling her to be open minded and work hard and be a good teammate. And that was one of her part of her power-up is being a good teammate was one of her three-to-one graves. So it's actually been pretty cool to see her go into this new team with nobody and be really excited about that and see that as a new challenge and then just with her existing team with people she knows she's stepping back and she finds her one or two people that she does get along well with and can go to, and they support each other. So that's been pretty cool to see.

Speaker 1: 1:02:44

Yeah, yeah, that's great. I love that. Yeah, donna, any thoughts? I imagine like the teammate dynamics with your, with Paige being on, like maybe she's just grown up with like always being on boys teams, but I imagine there's a little bit of a dynamic there A little bit.

Speaker 4: 1:03:02

I think she works really hard to be a part of that team, like it's very important to her. She's very much outgoing though, so she comes like we've played a lot of spring teams and she wouldn't know anybody and there was a little bit of nerves for her on day one, but she always just enters a locker room with a big smile on her face and she's pretty outgoing that way.

Speaker 1: 1:03:19

Yeah yeah, I feel like you would have to be a little bit like that, but it sounds like that's also just her personality. So the things we actually hit on this a little bit in the program too, and one of the things that we tell athletes is like when you're joining a new team, one of the ways that you automatically earn respect from your teammates is just being the hardest worker and go out and give a hundred percent effort. That's one of the ways that you can show without even actually talking really to anybody like outside or texting them or engaging in the group chat or whatever that you are committed and that they can trust you is just by working really hard. And so I don't know if that's helpful or not. I don't know how you would necessarily go about that, but it could be that she is doing that. But if she is expressing to you like I feel like an outsider, that's where I would use some of the skills that you even learned last week in the what to say challenge around. Oh, okay, repeat back. You're feeling like a little bit disconnected from the group or you're feeling like an outsider. What is making you feel that way? So we try and use the what over the why.

Speaker 1: 1:04:16

That's one of the like strategy just a little language shift, because then hopefully she can say some specific, concrete things like what about your teammate dynamic is making you feel like an outsider? And she could say no one's talking to me. Or she can come up with a variety of things and then you can kind of repeat back again, reflect back to her, ask that question that you can always have in your back pocket Do you want me to listen about this? Like, if this is bothering you on a scale of one to 10, how much is it bothering you? All right, do you want me to still listen, because I can, or do you want me to help you come up with some solutions to this or some ideas on how you can not feel as much like an outsider? And then that's when you can potentially have more of an avenue to suggest some things.

Speaker 1: 1:04:52

That's where I would go with that, without being cause I you already know how her off a little early I don't know if she's driving on her own pick her up a little late, and then she's forced to interact with her teammates before and after that kind of dead time as well. Okay, I think I got to all the questions that I saw as well. Okay, if there are any other questions, you can pop in the chat. You can also email. Is there anything else, dawn, kim, jamie, that you want to share that maybe I didn't ask? I know I blew through the questions fast, but anything that you're feeling compelled to share with moms or anybody that's considering jumping in the program with us, I'll start with Jamie, if there's anything.

Speaker 3: 1:05:36

Yeah, I think the big thing. I probably took a kind of weird approach to it. I breezed through all of the parent side really fast just to get the lay of the land and get some quick wins, because we were like right in the dead of the middle school season there. And then I'm going back now, as time allows, to go back through a little bit deeper, do more of the work and work more with Haley on that together. But even just going through, it quickly built a lot more awareness of how I say things and what other parents are saying and how we frame things. That was a huge shift for me. And then just seeing how she responds to that it might not necessarily be pushing her to do anymore, but it's not damaging the relationship and it's not damaging the play. So we're really early. We took a weird approach to it, but it's what seems to be helping us progress right now.

Speaker 1: 1:06:24

Yeah, and it's actually not that weird. You're doing it, you have a great approach to it because you're focusing on your side of it, and then there's going to actually be a time where, even if she's participating lightly right now, like you said, she does have her three, two and so many opportunities for it to be like okay, we're now up against something, let's go and take a look at the resources we have to navigate this, and you have it right there.

Speaker 2: 1:06:47

All right, kim, anything else, I think your athletes are all so lucky that you are all here learning more about this, asking questions about this. I think, just in sport in general, if you ask coaches and players how much of whether it's an individual sport or a team sport how much of the game is physical versus mental, they will almost always weigh more heavily on the mental side of anything that they're doing. So, thinking about things like that you're physically practicing five times a week, five times a week, you should be also mentally practicing and then recognizing that it does take practice. So our kids aren't going to be best mentally prepared for anything Like it takes that same sort of discipline around practicing these types of things to be well-versed in these things.

Speaker 2: 1:07:33

But I would just, as someone who's been here for a while and I continue to lean on these resources I would just encourage you, if you're on the fences, to invest. I swear that what I thought I was investing in and what I have seen on the back end of this has been well beyond my expectations. More as a person, and watching my daughter step into more of herself and be confident in that has just been the biggest blessing and so worth the initial investment in this program, like the things it helped for tactically, yes, but everything else outside of it. It's just so worth it. So if you're on the fence, I would just encourage you to dive in, give it your all and just sit back then and watch the blessings come.

Speaker 1: 1:08:16

So yeah, that's great. Thank you, kim. All right, anything else, dawn, can we wrap up?

Speaker 4: 1:08:22

I think yeah, I think just that you can do it at your own pace, Like my daughter's 11. So we still have a long journey ahead of us, right?

Speaker 1: 1:08:31

Her ability to take what she needs from it now and in the future is the best part, right, yeah, absolutely, this is a long game, even before sports. Like, really, honestly, this is not just about sports. Yeah, yeah, all right. Well, thank you Jamie, kim and Dawn for sharing so generously and just being here carving out time. Moms that are on. Sorry, this turned into a more of a webinar than a Zoom, but you know, I appreciate you being here, it's good to see you participating in the chat and if you do have any other questions, don't hesitate to reach out. You.