Speaker 1: 1:12

Welcome back to the Raising Elite Competitors podcast. This is a special athlete tip podcast. So, athletes, this one is for you. We're talking about the difference between playing not to lose versus playing to win. There's a big mindset difference in these two things and the results are pretty dramatic when you are playing to not lose versus playing to win, and so we'll dive into that today and some tips to help you play to win versus not just play not to lose.

Speaker 1: 1:44

Now, before we get into the episode, I have a shout out for an athlete who was inside our program, the Elite Mental Game. This is our self-paced mental training program for girl athletes to give them a competitive edge in their sport. This athlete's name is Madison. She texted us the other day and said this with one of her epiphanies, one of her learnings that she had in the program. She says I learned that you do not need other people to tell you that you're doing good, you just need to believe it yourself. Also, I've been pitching for my team and I've been doing a great job mentally bouncing back. So, madison, congratulations, and I've been doing a great job mentally bouncing back. So, madison, congratulations, you are spot on when we are looking to other people other coaches, parents, teammates, media, all these other people to tell you hey, you're doing good. You're probably going to be disappointed because you're waiting for somebody else to tell you how you're doing, and you're going to be waiting a long time and your confidence is going to be up and down depending on what other people say, and they might not even be thinking about you. You know, I'm not saying that in a bad way, but we need to stop looking to other people to tell us if we're doing good or not. You need to focus on your own goals, how you want to improve. That is a validation you need, and if you get validation from somewhere else, it's just like icing on the cake. It's not the cake itself. Okay, you need to believe it yourself. And then also, congratulations. Pitching is not an easy thing. It's not an easy position. There's a lot of pressure on you, and so being able to bounce back mentally in that pressure filled role is key. So nice job, madison, keep going.

Speaker 1: 3:08

All right, let's talk about playing to win versus playing not to lose and the difference between the two. You probably already know the difference in how it feels, but playing not to lose is this place of fear You're coming from. You're playing from a place of scarcity, of fear, like, ooh, I don't want to mess up because I don't wanna lose. Like losing is really, really bad. Right, it's kind of like the subconscious thing. When I say subconscious, that means that you might actually not be thinking that out loud or saying it out loud, thinking in your head or saying it out loud, but you're likely feeling it because you just don't want to lose so bad. So you're just like not taking risks and you're hesitating. Versus playing to win is more like you are going out, you're taking risks, you're being aggressive, you're not really worried about mistakes, you're not worried mostly about the outcome because you're just going out and you're just trying your best, okay. And so there's a very big difference when you go out to play to win versus going out and just trying to avoid losing.

Speaker 1: 3:59

And I first want to talk about why playing not to lose is not a good idea. Okay, for one, it totally limits your potential. So when you play it safe and you hold yourself back, you're actually missing opportunities to play your best. You're not actually going to be playing to your potential. When you are playing it safe and you're limiting yourself, like you're not taking risks. You're passing the ball instead of shooting, you're tipping the ball instead of swinging full out. We think that we're just like, oh, we're preserving ourselves so that we potentially don't lose, when in reality you're not doing as good as you could be.

Speaker 1: 4:34

And I'll say it another way this is actually selfish, especially if you play a team sport. It's selfish to go out and not actually play your best because you're not giving your team your best, you're not playing to your fullest potential and how, you know how to play, and so you're cutting yourself short, and you're actually cutting your teammates short too. So in a sense, it's actually kind of selfish to play it safe and not play full out and hesitate Okay, it safe and not play full out and hesitate, okay, it limits your potential. Number two, it actually increases the pressure that you're going to feel, and so, yeah, there's all sorts of pressure associated with your sport, no matter what. But avoiding risks doesn't eliminate the pressure, it actually adds more. Because now you're going up and you're like, oh my gosh, you don't want to make a mistake, and now you have that pressure of trying to not make a mistake, and focusing on avoiding mistakes makes you overly cautious, which can increase anxiety and make it really hard, and a lot harder, to perform under that stress. So it's almost like we're trying to avoid the pressure or, like get rid of it, but then we're adding it back, and adding it even more when we're just trying to be cautious, okay, which then leads to more mistakes, okay. So, ironically, when you're more focused on not messing up, you're likely to make more errors, right?

Speaker 1: 5:50

Fear of failure shifts your attention away from the game, leading to mental lapses or persecution. Or if you've ever had this experience, I played volleyball, among a lot of other sports. But when I was going back, like if you're a volleyball player, you know that feeling when you go back to serve and you're just like I just don't want to miss my serve. And so you're like I'll just go easy, right, I'll just serve it easy. And then all of a sudden, you miss your serve so bad that it like serves the 10 foot line on your side of the court. You're like what happened? Okay, that's because, like when you just risk, or when you're avoiding risks, you're actually like changing your mechanics a little bit, and so if you just do the thing that you've done thousands and thousands of times, you're actually better off. You're going to make that serve because you're just doing what you're supposed to do, what you normally do in practice. Instead, you're like I don't want to miss my serve, so you just do funky things and like your mechanics get messed up, and then you actually end up making more mistakes, okay.

Speaker 1: 6:40

Another reason why it's not a good idea to just play to not lose is that it builds in this hesitation. Your hesitation then creates lower reaction times. You have, like more decision-making, and we play sports. We have to be fast decision-makers. We can't like hesitate out there, okay. So that means missed opportunities or making critical errors, or like expecting somebody else to get to the ball instead of you. So we have this hesitation that is built in now, which we know is not good, okay. And then, finally, it prevents your learning right.

Speaker 1: 7:08

Taking risks, even if that results in a mistake, is how you grow. So being able to rise up to the occasion actually takes some practice, and so if you're not practicing taking risks or embracing challenges or pushing your boundaries, you can't actually expect yourself to be able to do that when it matters most in a game, in a championship match, you know in those times. And so playing to win means something different. It means that you're taking calculated risks. When I say calculated, that doesn't mean that you're making silly risks, okay. It doesn't mean you're like taking that shot, when you're like it doesn't make sense for you to take it or you're off balance or whatever. Yeah, of course you want to be smart, but in the opportunities where you can risk it, you can take that shot, you can take that swing, you can do it, you do it right.

Speaker 1: 7:57

You know that, like, regardless of what happens, an error is a potential. But you're actually just as likely, if not more likely, to make an error by playing it safe than you are risking. So you might as well take that risk, make that big swing, take up space, take the ball, because more than likely, good things are going to happen when you take a risk. And if you make an error, that's usually what people are fearing. They're like I just don't want to mess up. Okay, here's the thing You're likely to not make an error if you take a smart risk and you know how to come back from mistakes.

Speaker 1: 8:27

And if you don't, if you're like oh, actually I don't really know, okay, that's one of the things that we teach inside the Elite Mental Game, we teach athletes our snapback routine how to reset after a mistake. So focusing on their breath, a reset word, a reset gesture. And so athletes who have the skill of being able to come back from mistakes they don't actually have to fear making a mistake because they're like how to come back, I know how to reset, okay, so being able to bounce back, just like Madison said you know she texted us the athlete that I talked about at the beginning of this episode. She's like, hey, I can just bounce back. So the worst thing that could happen is I make a mistake. Can you deal with that? Well, yeah, I can bounce back from a mistake. Okay, worst thing that could happen Maybe my coach pulls me out. Can you deal with that? Yes, you can. Okay, yeah, it might not be what you want, but you can deal with it. And the thing is you are more likely to not make a mistake if you go for it and do the thing that you've been practicing and practice thousands and thousands of times and hours and all the things. Just doing that is actually gonna set you up more to not make a mistake, okay, the other thing about playing to win is that you literally have nothing to lose.

Speaker 1: 9:33

I know you're like, well, it's the championship or it's a big game, it's important. I might get pulled. You know what you can handle that we think that these things are so massive and it's going to be like so detrimental. You can handle getting pulled from a game. It's okay, you'll get back in, okay. You can handle making a mistake, like when I say you have nothing to lose.

Speaker 1: 9:44

When we come back down to it, like this is a game, this is literally a game that you play for fun, and that doesn't mean that it's not competitive. Like, I'm just as competitive as you are likely. I played college sports, I am a head coach, I've won three state championships. I'm very competitive, okay. But when it comes down to it, this is a game that you play for fun, that you enjoy, okay.

Speaker 1: 10:06

And so, putting it in that mindset of like I've got nothing to lose, I'm playing a game that I love, with teammates that I love. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to do my best, knowing that, like the worst thing that could happen is that we lose the game, all right, and I'm going to create that result. You know the loss. It's actually going to play out that way If I hesitate, and play it safe, more than if I just go out and have fun and just go for it. So this is your permission to go for it.

Speaker 1: 10:37

Okay, play to win. Play with the mindset of what's the best thing that could happen instead of what's the worst thing that could happen. I want you to go out there and you're like you know what if it all works out, instead of what if I make a mistake, what if we lose? And so just having that shift is actually going to change how you show up in your next game, and that's what I want you to remember and that's what I want you to, even if you need to listen to this episode again right before you play. Go out there, play to win, take risks yeah, you might make a mistake. You hesitate and play it safe too, okay, so you might as well go go out swinging and go out playing aggressively. All right, athletes, I hope that this was helpful. I am coach Brie. I'm a mental performance coach for girl athletes and I will see you in the next episode of our athlete tip podcast episodes. Also, if you're inside the elite mental game with us, I will see you inside the portal.