Welcome back to the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach Bri, a mental performance coach for girl athletes. And I am so excited that you're here. Now we have a special episode today. This is an athlete tip episode. So athletes, this one is for you. We are talking specifically about how you can be a leader on your team. So I am actually going to be diving into some keys to leadership and also some myths around leadership. Now, before we get into it, I first want to give a shout out to an athlete. That is in our community. So Maddy is a track basketball, soccer and volleyball player. So she plays a lump sports. And she recently wrapped up our 12 week oh week competitor programs. This is our program that builds. Mental strength and confidence in athletes that they can play their best. And this is what she had to report to us at the end of the program. I just wanted to mention it because. Maddie. We're so proud of you. So she said that her biggest takeaway from the program is being able to come back from mistakes and learning that making them is the only way to get better. In addition, during the program, she also learned how to accept, not being perfect and to focus on herself, not others. Being confident is something that she learned she still will need to work on. But overall she says her biggest takeaway is that she learned how to properly prepare for performance and to have healthy comparison rather than unhealthy comparison. So Maddie. Super excited for you. And I'm really glad that you shared that with us and athletes. I hope that's encouragement for you that. Mistakes are actually necessary to get better. And the stakes, aren't really something that you should be worried about. It's more about having the tools to navigate and come back from those mistakes and comparison. If you're an athlete that compares yourself to other athletes, first of all, you're normal, but there's also a way where you can compare in a healthy way and use that comparison as inspiration rather than something that gets you down. So. Maddie was able to do that. Congrats, Maddie, keep going. All right into this episode. This is actually a special episode because it is a recording of a lesson that I did for athletes on our Costa Rica, mom, daughter retreat. So on this retreat, we did a lot of breakout sessions where I worked with athletes. And we taught and engaged in mental training skills. And there's a special breakout that we did with athletes just focused on leadership. So how to be a leader, what some myths are around being leaders. Like you have to be extroverted to be a leader. You have to be the loudest one. And so this was a really powerful lesson in some simple ways that you can show up as a leader on your team in school and social settings, you know, this really transfers everywhere. So I'm going to in a second, have you listened to this, training that we did in Costa Rica? It's not very long. And also do know that you're going to notice some, Costa Rica sounds in the background. We have some friendly birds and some other noises. And then there's also some, interaction with the girls who were there at the retreat. So, just know that it might sound a little bit different than a normal podcast episode, but regardless there is some amazing content in here and so many great tips that you can take. Take away. From this episode and start applying in your team and in your life right now. All right, athletes i hope you enjoyed this tip and i'll see you in the next episode of the athlete tip version of raising unstoppable girl athletes at podcast We're talking about leadership, leadership, specifically about what it means to be a leader, not just in sports, but just in your life and kind of what that means to you. So I want you to think of somebody in your life that you think, How's great leadership? Like you look up to them for whatever, for whatever reason. Like they're just somebody that you see as a great leader. And I want you to tell me who that is and why you think they're a great leader so all of you identified a lot of, I mean, different qualities about these people, but some similarities, right? They're maybe a vocal person, there's somebody, that someone looks to in times where like, I'm not really sure what to do. They have good relationships. Right. And now I want you to think about like just your life in general and where are either. Where are you already a leader? Like you already maybe have a leadership role, so maybe you are a captain or you're like, maybe on a class council for ASB or something. Like, where are you already a leadership role? Let's go that first and then we'll talk about opportunities next. So, or maybe there's not, maybe you're not in a leadership role yet, or right now, and that's okay too. But if you are, I wanna hear kind of where you're at. So those are like, you know, when we talk about formal leadership titles, that would be like, I'm a captain, I'm a class counsel, you know, I'm a lab leader. Things like that. Or like somebody's appointed me so, And I know kind of some of my roles in this position, but there are lots of opportunities to lead that don't have titles. In fact, most of, most people who identify as really good leaders actually don't have the title. Of a captain or of a president. I mean, and some do and that's great when our elected leaders are really strong. But you have lots of situations in your life where you actually can show up confidently as a leader. Okay. And we'll talk about, you know, what, what leadership means and what some myths are about leadership. But think about your, life right now, or even just situations that you're in. And I want you to find the opportunity where maybe there aren't. Like established leaders, maybe no one's really stepped up or whatever or even if there are, like, if you're on a team and you're like, oh yeah, like I actually could be more of a leader in this situation. Think about those opportunities. Okay. And I want you to just to come up with one, where's one opportunity where you don't have a leadership title, but you could step up and lead, potentially in that situation. So where are the opportunities? So let's first talk about some leadership and confidence myths. So I'm, putting confidence in leadership because typically the people who we follow and who we think are really good leaders also have a confident disposition. And disposition means that, they look confident in some way. We typically follow people who, we have perceived to know what they're talking about. And, talk with strong voice, good posture. You know, we don't typically follow people who, who don't. So, confidence is a big aspect of leadership. Now, some leadership myths. Here's myth number one. You have to be an extrovert to be a leader. Raise your hand if you identify as an introvert. Okay. Now, if that were the case, then one out of every five people could only be a leader. Right. And there are qualities to both, but sometimes we get it confused that I can only be a leader, I can only be confident if. I'm an extrovert if I like talking to a lot of people or if I like being the one who's loud. Now why is that a myth? Just call it out or any ideas. Yeah, and what would be a benefit to a leadership style that's more introverted? that's spot on. Okay. Yeah, typically leaders who maybe are more introverted, they read the room a little bit more, you know, they're in tune, they're listening. They can pay attention to what people need. Everyone can lead because leadership is influence. You can lead from any personality type, extrovert, introvert, you can be a leader. It does not matter. You are not born a leader. You are not born confident. It is something that is developed. So that means that all of us can be leaders in our own way, and there is no one way to lead. Okay. There are some common things though. Myth number two is that you're either born a leader or not. And I'm sure, I know you've heard this before because it literally had a moment for multiple years, you know, the whole growth mindset thing. Okay. And. If you believe that, oh, that person is just, they're just naturally a leader, you know, or they're just born like that, then that automatically puts in a US in a position to say to ourselves, well, I guess I just wasn't born with that leadership skill. Leadership is a skill that you were developed. Okay? Just like confidence, a skill you can develop. You're not born with it or not born with it, right? This could always be something that you're developing. Okay. And why is it important to have leadership skills? Just call it up. Why? Like, why are we talking about this for like your future? Mm-hmm. Your job and like you have a family and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Your future for what you want. Anything else situation where you like need to a leader. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're in situations all the time and I want you to think about, The opposite. When you are in a situation where it's like, maybe you're a little unsure, and, and then you have that person who like takes time to come in, like talk to you or like, you know, make you feel welcome. That is a leader. A leader isn't, you know, we're talking like sports teams. The leader isn't the one who does the break. You know, that might be a quality, that might be an action that one of the leaders says, but. The leader isn't the one that just calls it. No. The leader is actually the one who is making connections with teammates, making connections with people in the group who's getting to know them on a personal level, right? That is what good leaders do. Good leaders aren't like, Hey, everybody, follow me. Good leaders are the ones that are getting to know the people that they lead, all right? And that's actually the first quality of a good leader. Has anyone ever heard of servant leadership? Heard of it. So the first quality of a good leader is that they embody servant leadership. And servant leadership is not, I'm gonna hang back and just like you all can walk all over me in passive. First thing that a good servant leader does is get to know the people that they lead, know their names, know what their interests are outside of whatever your, your. Grouping for it. And I've seen servant leadership from all of you just in a short amount of time. I've heard you asking, you know, curious questions. I've heard you become interested in what somebody else is saying and ask more. You know, that is the foundation of good leadership is serving the people that you follow and those of you that are in team settings, there's a phrase that we like to say. If you take care of your team, the team will take care of the game. And Somalia and I were talking yesterday a lot about like, well, what do we do in situations where like, we're not doing well or the, the team is struggling and like I'm trying to pump 'em up and it's not really working. You can't actually control the reaction of anyone else, so don't take anyone's reaction personally. That's not your job. Your job is to take care of your team in moments where you're not even when you're not in those challenging moments like ahead of time. Always be thinking, how can I take care of my team? Because if I take care of my team, my team will take care of the game. And a lot of it's done ahead of time. Okay. So that's the first key. We have three that we're gonna go over. Okay. First key is that good leaders are, good leaders serve. Right. Okay. The big C word. Number two, good leaders are confident. Okay. And we talked about confidence on the bus a little bit, but we're going to kind of break this into three things, okay? Thoughts, words and actions. So again, reminder, confidence isn't being the loudest person in the room. All right. You can be like, if you are loud, be loud. Be yourself. Okay. Confidence really comes from trusting yourself and trusting that what you have to say matters and that who you are in any situation is enough and that you contribute just by being who you are. And, people who are confident are really aware of their thoughts. We've been talking about this a lot, so I'm not gonna go deep into it, but people who are confident are aware of what they're thinking about themselves. They don't compare themselves as, you know, if they do, they're like, oh, you know, that's not helpful. They're aware of, of negativity that's coming in, and they're, they're shifting those thoughts because confident people know you don't have to believe everything that you think. Okay, we have lots of thoughts that come into our head, like 50,000 thoughts a day. If we were to believe every single thing that we thought about ourselves, we would be like, All over the place. I don't know about you cuz I think lots of thoughts and some are like, whoa, okay. Interesting thought, you know, you don't have to hang onto it. Okay. Confidence comes from words. Okay, so words and actions, we're gonna combine a little bit here, but tell me some qualities. When you see somebody who is confident, what are they doing? How are they speaking? How are they, how are they showing up? Call some things up. Speaking firmly and being helpful. When we say speaking firmly, that just means, when you say something, say it. Trust what you're saying. Sometimes we're like, well, I don't really know what I am saying. That's okay. If you're gonna choose to say it, with conviction. Say it with pride and decide I'm putting my voice out in the world. And your voice matters. People need to hear from you. People need your perspective. And so confident people are speak firmly, they're helpful. What about body language? I know it's so comfortable to stand like this and there's times where you can for sure, but if you're ever in a group, I highly encourage you to open your chest. Stop. Don't cross your arms. Cuz you know, and I get this feedback to you. All of you said something about this, like, well, because I'm quiet or because I stand like this, that people think I'm unapproachable. And like you can actually help influence that by just. On crossing your arms and standing up tall and being open. If you're ever standing in a group with anybody and you see there's other people around, be that person to open up the circle a little bit and to be inviting of other people coming in, noticing like, oh, that person, like let's just say, Hey, you wanna come and chat with us? You know you wanna come to our table? Okay. Now body language is super important because your body and mind are always talking. And you are, they're sending messages to each other. Like, let's just do some posture checks. Because that just, just the act of moving your body, in that position actually. Helps your brain with that confidence. Okay? And those of you that are, you know, about to go into a sports season or a game or like a speech or a tough competition like, or tough conversation, even just like standing with your shoulders back before that game actually helps send that message to your brain like, I'm confident I can do this. Okay. Body language is so important. Speaking firmly. I also say speaking clearly. Like giving clear direction. Clear as kind. Right, because when people know what they need from you or people know what to expect from you, then they feel more comfortable. You think they trust you. Okay. So speaking clearly. Okay, the last one, Is trust. Trust. Okay. So what are some ways, that you can become trustworthy to people Yeah, trust comes from knowing somebody. You know, when you know somebody on a deeper level, like even if you just know, their name and you've been interested in them, they are more likely to trust you because you've taken time to know them and you can't ask somebody to do something if you haven't developed that trust first. And, it's kinda like a, a piggy bank. You know, every single person that you come in contact with, and if you're in a group setting or a team setting, they all have, like, imagine they have a little piggy bank. Okay. And your job is to put as much money into that piggy bank as possible. And the way that you do that is by getting to know them. The way you do that is by showing your work ethic, all right? So they can trust you. Like, Hey, I know she works hard. She shows up on time, she does the little things. She helps out, she speaks up When we need a leader, she goes first. You don't have to say anything to go first. Those things actually deposit into the piggy banks. Of the people that you're leading and then when you actually need to take a dis a withdrawal. So say you're like, I need to take money outta this piggy bank. So what would be examples of like, you need to take money out of somebody's piggy bank. You're leading Maybe like a favor. Yeah, like a favor. You need them to do something for you. Yeah. That's a good example. What else you need to miss? Like a, like you need to miss something. Oh, yep. Yeah. Like if you need them to cover for you for some, in some way. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, Jayden's normally here, every practice, she's normally here on time and you're like, Hey, I've got something that I, you know, you've established that they trust you. So it's like, okay, you need to take a withdrawal. That's a great example. Mm-hmm. You, you are seeing maybe that they're not pulling their weight, you know, and we could say it, you call them up, don't call them out. So calling them up, being like, Hey, I know you can do this. We need you right now. You know, next play, let's get it. Okay, that's taking a tiny withdrawal. But if there's a lot of money in there, you know, and you've established this relationship with this person, they're gonna trust you and they're gonna show up for you. But if you haven't done that and they don't really trust you, and then you're like, Hey, come on, we need you. They're gonna be defensive and it's gonna kind of spiral from there. So that's why it's so important that we establish this trust and we do that through these things here. You know, by speaking up, going first, being an example of working hard, of being reliable, of serving and getting to knowing people. So that's how you can really show up as a good leader in these ways.