Welcome back to the racing unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach Bree, a mental performance coach for girl athletes. And I'm so excited that you're here now. Today's episode is special. We have an athlete tips. So athletes, this episode is for you. We're talking about how to handle negative teammates. So if you've got teammates on your team, but. Are negative. Maybe there's some drama, maybe you just don't gel with them. Let's talk today about how you can navigate that so that you're not sucked into the drama. Let's do it. Okay. But before we do, I want to give a shout out to am athlete in our community. So Isabella is going through our mental game program right now and she just texted us this the other day. I just texted her and just asked for a little check-in how's it going? And she said, This whole program has been a game changer. I did really well this weekend in my Memorial day showcase. With three goals and three assists, feeling much more confident on the field. So congratulations, Isabella, we are so proud of you. Keep going and know that we've got your back. We're rooting for you. And super proud of the work that you're putting in, in the program. And so happy that it's showing out there on the field too. So keep going. All right. Negative teammates. Let's dive into this now. When we say. Negative teammates. And I'm talking about teammates that just you're, you're not jiving with what I'm talking about specifically are teammates who maybe you have a little bit of a different personality then maybe they're just a little bit negative. You know, maybe they just do some behaviors that rub you the wrong way. Maybe they are like rolling their eyes. They're making mean comments or remarks. And you're just their energy. Maybe it's impacting you in a negative way. They're impacting how you're showing up and how you're playing. Now there's also the category of teammates or people that you're going to come across, who are intentionally rude, like intentionally leaving you out intentionally maybe not high fiving you or talking behind your back. Now, those people are not behaving well. And please know that that is not a reflection of you. That is a reflection of them and their own insecurities, jealousy. Something's going on there. And it's not a reflection of you. That behavior is not something that I'm saying is excusable. But what I am saying is that even in those situations, you can choose where you put your energy and where you put your focus. Now, there are some behaviors that maybe you do need to address. We'll talk about that. Maybe you do need to talk to somebody, your teammates specifically, and you need some help and some support in that. But we're going to talk specifically about how you can choose to put your energy towards where it really matters and not get sucked into the drama. Now, if you are in a situation where you are being bullied, Bullied. So what I mean by that is there is maybe some, a particular person on your team or a group of people on your team who are making it unsafe for you to go to practice or to go to a game or even to interact with outside of the sport and whatever that means. Meaning they are maybe saying things to you that make you feel unsafe. Maybe they are doing harmful things to you. You absolutely need to let an adult know. That is not specifically what we're talking about today, but if you are in that situation or even you suspect you might be. Please make sure that you are talking to your parents. You are talking to the coach so that you are in a safe environment. Okay. Going into this, we're going to zone in, like I said, on this. Th this negativity, right? Maybe this teammate is just one of those negative Nancys bringing the whole crew down. It's really hard when they are always complaining and negative. Now here's the deal. You get to choose where you put your energy. You get to choose. If you are going to engage in this drama or not. There's a saying. That is super empowering. And it's this where your focus goes, your energy flows. So, if you are going to choose to focus on this person, and you're going to choose to focus on every little thing that they do and how negative they are. And they said this, and they said that. And did you see this? Did you see that? Your energy is going to go there. A hundred percent. And that is a. Pretty big waste of energy because that energy could be going to you. It could be staying within you to help you become a better athlete and help your other teammates become better. But instead you're choosing to focus all of your energy and all of your attention on this person who is being negative or complaining or doing things that are just you know, not helpful. And you are leaking your energy and you are giving your power to that person. And I want you to stop doing that right now. This is your permission to stop giving that person your energy and your attention. Now that doesn't mean that you're going to be rude to them or mean to them back doesn't mean that you're just going to ignore them completely. You do need to, you know, do what you're supposed to do as far as being a good teammate on the court or the field. But here's the thing you don't need to give them any more attention. You don't need to talk about them behind their back. You don't need to like fixate on everything they're doing, right. You can let them be negative and you can rap, like literally rise above it and decide that you're not going to change your energy, your attitude, your effort, and how you show up based on this person, you decide ahead of time. So protect your energy. Protect your power, protect your confidence. Your confidence doesn't come from that person. It comes from you. And how you choose to show up. And there will always be people who choose to be negative. And you, if you look for it, you will find it. It also, there are people on your team who are positive and who are helpful and who are encouraging. And if you look for them, you will find them too. It really is where you choose to put your energy and your focus and those people who are negative and who are rude. That's a reflection of them. It's not, you. Hurt people. Hurt people, jealous people, hurt people. People who are insecure with themselves hurt people, right? And that's not your problem. Your job is to control what you can control. So find the people around you who are supportive, who are positive, lean into them. And if there are situations that you do want to talk to somebody about and you want to vent about the best thing you can do is do that with trusted parents. Right. Do not add more drama to your team by talking about teammates with other teammates. That does not put you. That puts you at the same level as these negative rude people. If you're going to talk about them behind their back and co gossip about them with other people that is not what good teammates do. That's not what athletes who are achieving. And who are good teammates. They don't do that. But I do get that. You probably do need to vent some of this. So do that with your parents, let them be that safe space. And then when you show up, you got all that stuff out and now you can just choose to show up as the athlete that you want to be. You can work hard, you can have energy, you can be confident. You can encourage people without being sucked down by this negative person. Okay. So there's, and that's honestly relieving. This is your permission. This is your ticket to right now, like you have permission to not be sucked into the drama. You don't have to engage. It is so relieving to be that person that is not being, you know, spiraled and caught up in it. Like you can just focus on your sport. You can focus on having fun. You can focus on playing and you know, those one to two teammates that you. Really jive with like, that is where it's at. And not getting caught up in the team drama sometimes can mean that you're going against the grain. Meaning everybody else is gossiping. Everybody else is jumping on the train and making things worse and you're going to choose not to. Yeah, you're going to choose to do something different. But athletes who want different results need to do things differently. So if you want different results and you want to be that athlete that is achieving hardworking, maybe you want to play at the next level, then you need to have your blinders on and not get sucked up into the drama. Because most of that drama is just wasted energy. I'll tell you that. Okay. Now, if there are situations that you do need to address, let's talk about that. So say maybe somebody is being very intentionally mean, maybe they are saying something that did cross a boundary for you. And you have to know where your boundaries are. Maybe it's like, yeah, I can deal with rolling eyes and somebody complaining. I'm just not going to engage in that. But if somebody maybe yells at me or says something specifically about me or overhear them talking about me behind my back, they maybe didn't know I was there. Then maybe you do need to address some of that. And that is also a very great sign of confidence. I'm not saying it's easy, but this is also you setting a boundary and, and showing and telling that these people in this person that this is, this is how you're going to react. If you choose to cross that line. And so it could sound something like this. Like, Hey, I overheard you saying that I'm not good at defense in the locker room where you don't think I'm going to defense in the locker room. Can you help me understand what you meant by that? Right. Like attack it with curiosity. Okay. Be open just instead of just, you know, Attacking the person, just open it up with curiosity. And then you can follow up with okay. You know, depending on what they say now, if there's something that you need me to know, please tell me rather than telling other people. So you're telling that person what you need, you are addressing the situation instead of just letting it fester. Okay. If somebody is yelling at you, you can say, please don't talk to me like that. Right. So that those are things that you can say you can have in your back pocket if this person does cross the line. Okay. Now of course, I'll say it again. If you suspect that there's bullying or this person is making the environment unsafe for you, make sure you loop in a coach or an adult so that we can remedy that situation. Maybe even potentially get you out of that situation. But overall you want to make sure that you are alerting an adult about that. Okay. All right, athletes. I hope that this is helpful as a good start. Remember. You don't need to be looped in to the drama you can choose To take a different path. You also do not need to let your energy go to this negative person. Don't let them steal your power, your energy, your confidence. You don't have to write. Okay. Let them do them. Right. Let them be that negative person. Don't try and change them because that's wasted energy too. You just focus on what you can control rally around the people who you do find supportive and encouraging, because if you look for that, you will find that too. All right athletes, I'll see you in the next athlete tip episode of the raising unstoppable and girl athletes podcast.