Welcome back to the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach Bri Ellie competitor, coach for girl athletes. And I'm so glad that you're here now, whether you are just getting going on this sports mom journey, or you have a lot of seasons under your belt. This podcast is for you to help you know, how to build confidence in your athlete daughter. So that she can play to her potential, have fun. And so that you could enjoy this sports journey as well. Today, we are talking about age. What is the best age to start training the mental game? We know how important it is to an athlete's experience in her sport and also how she performs. However, I get questions all the time. Like is 10 years old, too young to start. This work is 17 too old. Has the ship already sailed? And so I'm going to be diving into how we actually. Go about this as far as age and stage and where your daughter is at and what the best age is for her to start training the mental side of the game. Now, before we get into it, I first want to give a shout out to a mom in our community. Her name is Lauren, and she recently texted this in about her daughter. She said, we just got back from a weekend volleyball tournament the last of the club season, it was so fun to see my daughter having fun and feeling confident out there. It's been a while after the first two games, she pulled me aside and said, even though she hasn't done all the ECP trainings yet, And it has more to learn that it's working. She was using the breath work and letting go of mistakes and she experienced the increased performance that followed. She played hard, took risks and have fun. I am so glad we started the elite competitive program when we did so it could help her and her season on a high note. Thank you. Thank you Lauren, for giving us that update. I am so proud of you for providing this opportunity and this space for your daughter. So proud of your daughter for. Not only learning the skills, but implementing and using them. And it's so fun to see those pay off. All right. Mom's out again. Before we actually dive in, I have one more favor to ask of you. It helps us a lot when you rate review and share our podcast with your friends. So if you have a second. And you are enjoying the content that we're putting out here. If you could do us a favor and just give us a rating and give us a review while you're there and just drop the podcast episode, link to a friend, just texted on over to her. If you think that somebody else could benefit from this. It would help us out a lot and it would also help you out so that we can continue to produce amazing content for you and bring on other guest experts. Okay. Without further ado, let's get into it. Like I said, A question I get all the time. Is 8 too young? Is 17 too old to start mental training? I'll tell you right now. There is never a wrong time to start introducing the concept of how to use your mindset to your advantage. Athletes can benefit at any age, in any stage in their sports career, because these skills are foundational to how they show up as a person and how they show up in their athletics. Now there is a suggested age for starting a specific program. For example, the elite competitor program, we suggest around 10 to 12 to start the program and we have athletes. As old as high school college. But we'll get into some of the specifics about that, but overhaul, it is really never too young to start training the mental side of the game because mental training, when we talk about what that is basically is training your daughter's thoughts, behaviors, and actions to navigate any situation. So it's giving her the skills to navigate the very normal parts of being an athlete. We know that she is going to face pressure. She's going to face nerves comparison. She's going to have goals. She wants to go after she is going to be faced with all sorts of different challenges. As far as teammate dynamics, coaches. Everything. Like it's not, if it's a win and training her mind and her attitude around those things. Is essential for how she shows up when she faces them. It's also deciding that she has control over her thoughts and her reactions. Rather than being a victim in many situations that she could choose, whether she's going to face as a challenge or face as a reason why she is not doing or performing how she wants to perform. It's also declaring ahead of time through affirmation and visualization, the athlete and the person that she wants to be. It's the ability to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come with athletics and knowing that she is okay, that her confidence isn't rooted, rooted in her outcomes. Her self worth is not tied to her performance. Those things. If they're not intentionally taught in intentionally practiced. It's just what happens because of the nature of sports and how outcome focused. They can be. Mental training basically is using our minds to work for us. It's helping your daughter use her mind to work for her, to get her closer to her goals. So there are some considerations when we talk about how early we should begin this type of work. So I always say start as early as possible. When if your daughter can start with the awareness of what it means to be aware of what thoughts she's thinking. That she has a voice in her head that is likely going to be negative and tell her she can't do it because we all have that. We have a negativity bias. Our brain is designed to keep us safe. And athletes, when they come into the elite competitive program, they learn that right away, they learn some of the neuroscience that's happening in their brain. So that they're not caught off guard when it starts happening. If athletes don't know this, they don't know some of the basics of what, what happens in their brain when they're going after challenges or they're faced with things in their sport that are difficult. Then automatically they're thinking they're the only one that's experiencing it and they don't know how to get through it. So we want to expose our athletes with this idea of that our brain really is trying to work in our best favor, but some of the things that it does actually sabotage our efforts as we try and get better as athletes want to try and do that as young as possible. And it's the same thing that happens in their knowledge and their progression in their sport. Right. When they start playing their sport, when they're three or four years old. They learn the basics. Are they wearing ball handling skills, dribbling and open space, and then they start to progress. Maybe they're going around Combs, or then they're adding another people in each stage of the game levels up her knowledge and experience and builds on what she has previously learned. And so athletes that are really young, I mean, they can start with just the awareness of choosing what they're going to think about, choosing how they're going to talk about themselves and about the experiences that they're having. Awareness of emotions, their response to nervousness, visualizing how they want to play, learning, how to breathe properly affirmations and reminders of who they are. Like those things can actually start pretty young around like 5, 6, 7, and 8 years old. And then as she builds kind of throughout her sport, then she becomes ready for some other strategy. Strategies that she can be utilizing to kind of build that foundation. And so when we talk about entering into a program like the elite competitor program, as I said previously around 10 years old, is where we see kind of that sweet spot of them being able to, first of all, experience some of the pressures and competitiveness in their sports that's around where it starts to get a little more competitive. Will you have athletes as young as 8, but typically they're competing at like a national level. They're just more of in a unique situation or they're dealing really young with some of these things that we see in older athletes like perfectionism a lot of anxiousness or nervousness, you know, maybe they're experiencing that at a younger level, but around 10 is we're really start to see things, click for athletes and they start to have goals. They start to want bigger things are starting to kind of deal with that comparison a little bit. And they're also old enough to conceptualize some of these ideas around. What their brain is doing and what they can do to help focus them and be in the present moment. So around 10 is where we recommend kind of the youngest, unless she is highly competitive, unless she is, you know, really experiencing some unique things in her sport, a little bit younger, but 10 to 12 is that sweet spot of starting the program. Now, some other things we're going to talk about our older athletes in a little bit too. Okay. But I will say that the parents have younger athletes in our program report that they are so relieved that their daughters are learning these skills. Now, not later, it really does give them a one-up and a competitive advantage because they are prepared with these skills. It's this idea of being prepared for what comes rather than reacting to what comes. And so these athletes who are younger coming through the program, you know, when they start around 10 or 12 parents are saying, wow, I'm just so happy that she's being exposed to this material, that she's being surrounded by it. Even if she's not picking up every single thing, these skills are going to grow with her as she gets older. Okay. So that is our first consideration around this is that mental training should be started as early as possible. First by just introducing this awareness. Around thoughts, emotions. Deciding and visualizing how we want the outcome to be and what kind of player we want to be. All that can start really young. You can start talking about that when we say more of a formal program around 10 to 12 is that sweet spot of starting a work like this? Now mental training will look different at each stage in your daughter's journey. So I'm going to talk about some of considerations for older athletes as well. So as athletes grow, they will apply these skills to situations as they level up. So sometimes we think it's backwards and it's also backwards to think once they get to a certain level, then they will have the confidence that they need. Right. Once she makes this team, when she plays for this coach, when she gets here, then she'll be confident when in reality, she needs to develop the skills first so that she can actually use them at those levels. And so our athletes that are going on to compete at higher levels. I'll tell you right now, and they will tell you the same, that it's not less expectations, not less pressure. It's not less comparison. It is more, more will be expected of her at that level. The more that just she'll probably have tougher coaches at those levels too. Like she's going to be faced with a lot more challenging circumstances as she levels up. And so expecting her to just somehow find confidence that wasn't there before, or find the skills that weren't there before is setting her up for failure. And so what's really cool is that we have athletes who come into the program around 10 to 12 that's when they start. And we also have athletes that join as they're in there as they're older as well, but because the program grows with them and because they have lifetime access to everything, they're able to apply these strategies in different situations as they grow. Now, just like any skill mental training skills. Take practice, right. They aren't just learned once, just like physical skills, your, your daughter doesn't go to a skills camp and then learn the skills once. And then she has them mastered and it's like, oh, wow. Look at that. She just went to this. You know, two day camp and she's got all these skills and she doesn't need a practice in ever again. No mental training skills are the same. We get the foundation in place and then we continue to practice them, continue to use them. Because she's faced with situations every single day where she is using her mind. Her thoughts are her most powerful. Super power in a way, right? Because how she thinks about situations and what she chooses to tell herself directly impacts how she shows up in those situations. And so athletes need to continue to be taught and exposed and practiced these skills. Now for our older athletes. I will tell you right now, if your athlete is in high school, if she is. You know, pretty much sophomore or beyond if she's in college and she has not started working on mental training. You got to get on that, that train right now. Okay. Because she is, it's not, again, not a matter of if it's a matter of when she is going to be faced with these situations. That are going to require her to have skills. Those of you that know my story, just a tad bit to know that you know, I was a highly recruited volleyball player in high school. And by the time I was a senior though, I was so caught up in my own lack of confidence that I actually quit playing volleyball and turned out all of my offers because I did not want to let people down. I was dealing internally with all of these things from the outside. My parents wouldn't really think about things that I was dealing with. Anything my coaches, definitely not fans or the people that were recruiting me. On the inside I was dealing with all sorts of these confidence issues in the form of, I didn't want to let my teammates down. I felt like I had to be perfect. Nothing was ever good enough. I wasn't happy because of these things, because I did not know how to handle them. And I don't want your daughter to. Get into that situation. That is exactly why our business exists. That's exactly why we do what we do because there are athletes out there who you might not know from the outside, are struggling with these things. And they think they're the only ones. And so we need to proactively equip our athletes with these skills. And even if she is not struggling, this is the key to her leveling up and the key to her playing her best. You will not meet a college level or professional level athlete who doesn't say something about how important the mental game is to their performance. It literally doesn't happen. And so your daughter, if she has big goals for herself, or if you're like, well, I don't really know if she's struggling, but I know that she does want to play at the next level or she wants to make varsity, or she wants to play in college and you're not giving her the opportunity to develop these skills that are so essential to her success. Then she is not going to be the player that she could be. That potential is there. We have to make sure that she has the skills to be able to handle nerves, be able to handle the pressure, be able to handle the teammate dynamics, the coach dynamics, all of these things that cause athletes, typically, if they're not equipped with the skills to hesitate and potentially even walk away from their sport. If they don't have the strategies to navigate them. Okay. So we've gone over a couple of things so far. Let me recap. Before I, before I talk about a couple more things. So mental training should be started as early as possible. So we can always start exposing our kids to these concepts. Pretty young. I would say around 10 to 12 is the sweet spot for starting a more formal program like the elite competitor program, if she is older than that. And then she definitely, it should be training her mental game. You know, we expect by the time our kids are seniors, that they have some of these skills dialed and they know how to visualize. They know how to use the breath work to their advantage. They know what limiting beliefs exists around how they feel about themselves. They know how to shift their self talk to be more productive. They know what to do when they make a mistake instead of spiraling, like these are skills that they should have. For sure by the time that they are juniors and seniors. So if they don't. Let's talk. Actually first up would be go to our free training. So if you go to trainhergame.com. You learn the first steps on how to build your athlete daughter's mental game. So train her game.com. If you haven't already checked out our free training around this, we break it all down to make sure that you check that out. Okay. The other thing is that mental training will look different at each stage in her journey. So we know as she's younger, it's more about exposure. When she starts entering into a program like ECP, she's going to learn these very specific and tangible skills to help her. And and then as she gets older, she's just going to be able to apply these skills to different circumstances as well. Okay, wrapping up here a little bit. I'm going to leave you with a couple more thoughts. First one, at whatever age your athlete is, the best time to work on mental skills was yesterday. The next best time is now. You will never regret teaching your daughter the power of her mind. The ability to see that she has the power to respond in situations. Change, how she thinks about things, create the reality that she wants. All of those skills can start at a very young age and practicing this awareness. This self-talk how to regulate her nerves using breath and imagery. These are key skills that experienced high level athletes use. And so how amazing is it that these skills are accessible to athletes? As soon as they start competing? So many parents will wait until her athlete is struggling to bring in the mental side. Well, it is helpful at any time. The best time is to equip athletes with mental skills before they get into challenging situations, because we know about elite confident athletes respond. When they get into situations, they know how to respond. Average athletes react. And typically they don't react to very well. They spiral, they don't have skills, then they call it an off game and, you know, hope for the best next time. So we don't want your daughter to be in situations where she is just reacting, reacting, reacting. We want her to be able to respond. And so specifically if your daughters, between those ages of 10. All the way through. Upper high school, we have also college athletes then ECP, the elite competitor program can be a very useful tool to help build her foundation and mental skills. And so, like I said, that sweet spot 10 to 12 is when we see athletes really clicking with the material. And seeing the results that, that, you know, moms are looking for, the athletes are looking for. And all the way up to those upper high school and college athletes, I will say the younger, your athlete is the more you might want to do the program side by side with her, you know, so that you can just make sure that she is. Tracking, But if you leave with anything, I want you to leave with this. Don't wait until she's struggling to give her the skills that she needs. Don't wait until she's struggling, right. Do her a favor. Do yourself a favor, give her the skills that she needs. Give you also the skills and the support that you need. Because half of the elite competitor program is for you, for moms and parents, to learn how to best support their athlete daughter. So a lot of. A lot of moms are saying to us, I don't want to wait to know how to best support her through this journey. We only get one shot at it, and we want to make sure that we are best equipped to be able to support our daughters. All right. So like I said, if you are ready to get started with how to start strengthening your athlete, daughter's mental game. We break it all down in our free training for sports moms. So head to trainhergame.com, you can choose your date and time for that training. We also have a discount on our signature elite competitor program when you attend that training. So when you go to that training, we share a special link on the training where you can join the elite competitor program at a discounted rate. So train her game. Dot com is where you can go to check that out All right. to recap mental training should be started as early as possible it will look different in each stage of her journey and at whatever age the best time to work on mental skills was yesterday and the next best time is today. All right. Moms, I'm coaching Bree, and I will see you next time. In the next episode of the racing unstoppable girl athletes podcast.