Welcome back to the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach Bre. Elite Competitor coach for girl athletes. And I am so happy that you're here now, whether you are just getting, going on this whole sports mom journey, or you have a lot of seasons under your belt, or you're somewhere in between this podcast is for you to help you know, how to get your daughter to play with confidence, play to her potential, enjoy her sport, and so that you can enjoy this sports journey as well. Today, we're talking all about how to know when the right time is for your athlete to work on the mental side of her game. Now, if you're not familiar, that's what we do around here. We teach girl athletes how to be confident. We teach them the skills they need to navigate the very normal parts of their sports. So things like handling pressure expectations, getting to the next level. Coming back from mistakes, having hard conversations with coaches and teammates, all of those things that they're pretty much expected to do But they often aren't taught how so he teach athletes how to do. All of those things that they can play to their potential and enjoy their sports. So if you've been thinking things like, is it best to do it in season when she's actually participating in her sport? Or is it best to do during summer or an off season? Things like that. We're going to be diving into what you can consider as you're trying to decide when the best time is, and some things that have worked for other athletes in our program in the past. Now, before we get into today's episode, I want to give a shout out. I do a mom in our community. So her name is Jana. She posted this the other day in our private community for sports moms, she said, Hey, I'm new to the group. Just finished week. One of the lead competitor program so far. I love it all my under starter is a 15 year old freshman basketball player. She's in playing with varsity in a very competitive program since last summer and had an amazing pre-cert pre-season, but really struggled mentally. Once the season started, she got in her own head and slid from the starting to third or fourth off the bench, even though they won the link title. It was so hard to watch her struggle and not have the right tools to support her. So thrilled to have found this program. It is spot on so far and we cannot wait to put the tools into use when we get ready to kick off the season. This summer. Thank you. And another mom also named Janna commented below. She said I'm a week through and cannot get enough of all this golden information. So I am so excited for you, Jenna, for your daughter, especially because you are entering into a really important time in her career, right. We're going into this summer season again. Where she's going to be able to utilize these tools that she is learning. And I cannot wait to continue to hear the updates from you. Now, again, before we get into the meat of today's episode, it would mean the world to us here at the elite competitor. If you would share this podcast episode or an episode that you've enjoyed with a friend. So, you know, when you get a text from a friend. With a link to a podcast episode, you're like, this would be so amazing for you to listen to. I love this episode. Those are the ones that I listened to. So if you don't mind, we would love for you to do that as well. It really helps spread the word about this podcast and get in the ears of as many sports parents as possible. And if you really enjoy the podcast, if you could give us a review that would also mean the world to us, and really help us with our reach, get the algorithm working in our favor so that we can bring you more amazing. Content. All right, let's get into it. We were talking about timing and when it's important to really focus in on your athlete, daughter's mental game. Now, if you are listening to this episode, it's safe to say that you are likely the type of parent who sees not only the value, but also the importance and the necessity of training, the mental side of the game and your athlete. And typically we see there are two types of parents in this world as they're navigating their daughter's sports, your game, there's parent, number one, I like to call this parent the wait and see parent, right. She's like, okay, well we'll just kind of wait and see what happens. You know, maybe my daughter, maybe things are going okay. And you're just kind of crossing your fingers and. Hoping it continues. This parent also. It kind of a subscribed to this idea that should just pick things up along the way. Like, you know, as she gets higher in her sport, she'll be able to handle the pressures that come with that. Right. And maybe they're also relying on their daughter's coach to teach the mental side of the game. They're like, well, that's my daughter's coaches responsibility. I also, what I see in this camp of sports parents sometimes is that they think maybe I'm an anomaly. Maybe my daughter is an anomaly. She's actually not going to struggle with the normal parts of being an athlete, or she's going to face all those things and she's going to be completely fine. And that may or may not be true. But what we see most often is that all athletes face very similar things in their sport from working with eight year old athletes, all the way up through college and professional athletes, we see the. The same things across the board. It's not typically a matter of if it's a matter of when she is going to face pressure comparisons, expectations, disappointments And how athletes navigate those things typically comes back to how they were trained to navigate them. Athletes typically do not just have these skills out of nowhere. And so that's where we also see parent number two. So parent number one is kind of this wait and see what happens. You know, my daughter is doing okay right now and we'll just cross our fingers and hope that continues. And then there's mom, number two, who is the proactive mom? This is like the, we call her the game-changer Gabby. Right? She is looking in the future, right. She wants to equip her daughter with the skills that she needs in her sport, but also in her life, because she knows that. The sport. Mirror's life and the skills and the strategies that she's learning in her sport, or will actually transfer to her life. This mom also knows that the higher she goes in her sport, the more pressure, the more expectations, the more is going to be expected of her daughter and not less. And if she does not have those skills already built in her foundation, she's not just going to magically. Appear with them. All right. This mom also knows that most coaches aren't trained in the mental side of the game. Now, when I started coaching, I absolutely was not trained in the mental side of the game. I had to go out, use my own time, money, resources, to learn how to teach this to athletes and become certified in teaching the mental side of the game. Most likely or most coaches don't do that. And so this mom knows like, Hey, I am not going to expect my daughter's coach to do something that's beyond what they're typically expected to do. And so this mom is looking to equip her daughter with skills, knowing that there are going to be disappointments and bumps in the road. And there are going to be very normal parts of being an athlete. Her daughter is not in an anomaly in those things, and she wants to make sure that her daughter is confident going into those things. I also think of it as like you know, I use this analogy often, like swimming lessons, right? Both of my kids right now are in swimming lessons. And learning how to swim. I am not going to be somebody. I mean, it would be silly. Life threatening. To just expect like, oh, maybe my kids will just naturally know how to swim if I put them into water. And we'll just kind of like, see what happens. No, that is that that doesn't happen. We equip our kids with these skills to be able to navigate the waters and be able to swim so that they can live. Right. And so that they feel confident going into water. And I think of it the same way. Because just throwing your daughter into some of the situations that she's going to face as an athlete and just expecting her to be mentally tough. Is not how it works. She will face these things and she needs. The training, she needs the skill. She needs the foundation to be able to navigate those things confidently and know what to do. I'm so tired of coaches and sometimes parents just telling athletes to be mentally tough. You need to be mentally tougher. What does that even mean? If they knew how they would. And so don't throw your daughter into these situations. And when I say throw her into them, I mean, like, you're just going to wait and see what happens. Give her the skills that she needs ahead of time. Now, again, if you're listening to this, then you're likely mom, number two, and you might be wondering. Okay. Yes, but when is the best time to actually be intentional with teaching my daughter, these skills? For example, going through the elite competitor program, which is our signature mental training program for female athletes and their moms. And maybe you're heading into an off season right now. Maybe you're heading into summer and you're thinking, okay, would this be a good time to actually dive in and really commit to a program or commit to getting a foundation of these skills? Or is it better to do in season? So I'm going to give you some information to consider right now. All right. Number one. There's actually no wrong time to work on your daughter's mental game. AKA it's always the right time. Right? I love that Chinese proverb that says the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. Right? So it is, it is always time to work on her mental game because she is always going to be facing things in her sport. She sh. It's, it's not a an if like, oh, is she having negative thoughts about herself and her sport? Is she beating herself a little bit up about something that happened in practice? Like she is right. That's we have a negativity bias. We are wired that way. And if we're not taught skills on how to be aware of what's going on, then those things start to become beliefs. It's are to live in your daughter's subconscious mind. And in our free training for sports moms, we talk about how. Your daughter, subconscious mind controls 90% of her behavior. And so she, if she has subconscious beliefs about herself, that she's not good enough. That you know, She doesn't belong on this team, or she'll never be able to get that skill. Then that is what is going to drive her behavior. That's what's going to drive what results she gets in her sport. And so we talk a lot about that on that free training. If you want to check it out, it's at train her game.com talk all about how these are normal things and athletes need the skills to first become aware of what's going on in their heads. And then second to shift to something more productive. So that third, they can actually use their mental game and their mind in their favor, in their sports. And. Instead of letting what would typically happen and that is letting their mental game sabotage their efforts. So number one is there's actually no wrong time to work on her mental game. Now, number two though, because you're like, well, yes, I get that. Right. That's true. However, our. Our schedules are a little busy, right? There might be a better time in your cadence of your year to fit something like this in. And so that's why number two, we say summer off season is actually one of the best times to do this type of work. And that's because the obvious, right. She has a little more time freedom in the summer. And if we're talking specifically about the elite competitor program, the time commitment of it is about 30 to 40 minutes a week. Right. Which is not very much. And then it's about five minutes, a day of a daily mindset practice where, and it's super simple. She puts in her, her AirPods or headphones. And listen to a visualization and does just a little bit of work there. So that's about five minutes of daily practice, 30 to 40 minutes a week. So not a whole lot of time, but when you have a lot of sports going on, you got school, you got all those things, you know, It is amazing how time fills up pretty fast. So that's why summer can be a great option for that because she has more time, freedom, and she can build it into her week. A little easier. And also she likely during the summer, or during an off season is still practicing her physical skills at some capacity. So especially during the summer, she's likely doing some sort of training. Whether that be like weight training or something like that, or something specific to her skills, like she's likely doing it, just not at the same capacity that she would be if she was in season. And so then she can actually practice these skills that she's learning these mental training skills that she's learning in a lower stakes environment. All right. So she's still building her mental muscles. She's building that foundation and she's still able to practice some of those things and apply it to the training that she is doing in the summer. So summer is a wonderful time. We actually have a lot of Athletes entering into the program right now, if you're listening to this episode around the time that it's being released, we are heading into a summer season and we have a lot of athletes that are joining right now. And a lot of parents because they're saying, Hey, our, our schedules are slowing down. We're ready to focus in and really get a good foundation before the next school year starts. So that's what I would say for number two, your summer or an off season. Right? If your off season doesn't align with summer, maybe it's like in the winter. Is a great time to do something more focused, like the lead competitor program. Now number three on the flip side of that in-season is also great. That's why I said there's no wrong time to we're kind of mental game. And the reason why end season is great is because she can apply learnings very quick. She's likely practicing almost every day. And so she's. You know, learning these mental training skills and then she's able to apply them right away to her practice and to her training. And so that she can adjust and get feedback, like things are happening very quickly. Now the downside potentially is that, you know, there's a little bit more time. Time crunch during the season. And so she just has to be a lot more intentional and you have to be a lot more intentional with making sure that it's prioritized. And what we see, you know, sometimes that'll what'll happen is okay. We can, we couldn't get to our training for this week or next week, but we got, we're still getting an, an, but maybe there's some gaps just because of what the schedule looks like that week. And that's fine. The lead competitor program specifically is designed to. For you to have lifetime access to all the content and go at your own pace. But just something to consider, if you would rather, you know, during the summer build all those foundational skills, apply them in a lower stakes environment. And then once her season hits, she has those things to be able to practice and go back to then that's great. If you're like I'm in season right now and she needs these skills right now. Hey, we see a lot of progress in athletes who are applying these skills as they're happening in real time. Okay. So those are the first three things to consider. Right? First it's always the right time. Like you can't go wrong. All right. You, you really can't go wrong on introducing these skills to your athlete. To summer or off season is actually one of the best times. Cause it's, you know, there's more time to do it. And she can still apply her skills in a lower stakes environment. Number three in season is great because she is utilizing these skills as they're happening. Like quite literally, she might be doing a training on a Monday night and then Tuesday during her game, she's applying those skills. For last thing. Is that regardless of when your athlete starts in this program and daily competitor program, or starts working on her mental game, these are skills that have to be practiced. These are skills that have to practice just like she is learning her skills in her sport. Right. She learns the basic fundamental skills of dribbling passing, shooting, and running. Tumbling and then she doesn't just like put them on a shelf and forget them. She likely does those skills every single day in practice, too, even though they are foundational basic skills, they need to be practiced. It is a use it or lose it type situation. And so. What we see here is when athletes start in the summer, we think that is amazing, right? They build those skills. And then when she gets into her season, when her season starts, we tell athletes, do trainings one, two, and three, again at the start of every single season. Because training's one, two and three are where athletes set their visions. They set their goals, they create their affirmations and their visualizations. Based on those things, we have a very specific process that we use with athletes to create those things for them. And then she creates her own daily mindset routine around that. And these things change with the seasons. What your daughter is focusing on in the summer is likely going to be a little different than what she's focusing on when her season starts, when your daughter starts her season, when she's focusing on there, it might be different than when she starts her club season or a different sport in a different season. And so regardless of when she starts, we tell athletes do trainings one, two, and three. Again, when you start your season and these are short trainings they're very, very foundational, very engaging as well. And it really helps set the vision for. What she's doing in that season? And again, these skills have to be practiced. And so even if she is building that foundation, we have systems in place in our program where athletes are practicing their mindset in their, their mental skills. On a daily basis. All right. And so that's why, you know, she can really start whenever. That that's great. Whenever, whenever it works best in her schedule and your schedule to start, especially if you're jumping into an off season, let's get it done. And then she is ready to go when her season starts. Okay. I hope that this was helpful to recap. Every time is the right time to work on our mental game. You can't go wrong there. You know, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. To summer is a prime time to work on Lee skills summer or an off season is great. Three in season is also great because she's getting immediate feedback. And for no matter when she starts, she will need to continue to practice these skills. And that's why we have systems in place so that athletes are continuing to practice them. On a regular basis so that they are sharp and they're using these Metro training skills in their sport and in their life now to learn how to get started on how to strengthen your athlete. Daughter's mental game. Head to our free training for sports moms at this free training, we teach you our method. We break down our framework on how we teach the mental game to athletes. Plus for those of you that are ready to jump inside the elite competitor program, we are actually offering a limited time discount on the program when you attend that free training. So had to train her game.com to register for your date and time. When you're on that training, we actually give a special link. For a limited time to get a little bit of a discount on the lead competitor program. So that's train her game.com to register for your date and time for that free training. All right, moms, I hope that this was helpful for you to consider as you are helping your daughter with these mental training skills. That again will serve her in her sport and also throughout the rest of her life. I'm coach Bree, and I will see you in the next episode of the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast.