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Well, welcome back to the racing unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach Bree and elite competitor coach for female athletes. And I am so happy that you're here. Whether you are a sports mom that is just getting going on this whole sports journey with your daughter, or maybe you have lots of seasons under your belt. Or anywhere in between. This podcast is for you to help you know, how to build confidence in your daughter, help her level up, get to where she wants to be, and ultimately believe in herself as much as you believe in her. We are talking today about one of the most overlooked parts of mental training and actually why your athlete daughter needs it in order to play to her potential. So. I'm wondering if you already know what this is. So you're about to find out, but before we do, I want to give a shout out to a mom and athlete in our community. So Alexandra just posted this in our private community for moms of athletes who are going through our signature program. And she said this, she said, hi. I just wanted to share a win that we had this week during beam practice today, he didn't got to try standing back techs on the floor beam. In the past, attempting new skills could bring on about of self-doubt. Although far from perfect. Hayden went for it on every turn, on the car ride home. I told her how proud I was of her. I also asked her how she felt and why she said, although she was nervous, she did it because she remembered to quote, trust her abilities and her talent. He didn't also mention that each time she was waiting her term, she worked on visualizing herself doing it. We're a little bit behind on our weeks, but the weeks we've gone through are already helping improve her mental game. Congratulations that. Is a huge win. Alexandria. I'm so happy that you shared that with our community. A couple of things that are just really awesome in here that trying new skills and doing new things ultimately brings a level of fear and vulnerability to all athletes. It would for us too, as adults. Can you imagine going out and trying new things in front of your peers? Where you likely will fail. And we ask our athletes to do that over and over and over again. So it's no wonder that they do feel anxious. They do feel nervous and that Hayden would likely have about, of self doubt going into something new. The story has changed now for Hayden. She is going for it. And although far from perfect, right? We don't expect perfection. That is how athletes get better by getting out of their comfort zone, trying things. You know, not doing it correctly, learning and then getting better. So she was going for it. She was visualizing, she was trusting herself. Her mental game is on the right track. So congratulations. This is really exciting. Keep going. I can't wait to hear more. As you continue to go through the program. All right. Moms, we are going to get into today's episode today. Like I said, we're talking about the most overlooked part of mental training. And I will say that when it comes to mental training, when we talk about. When we say mental training is we are helping athletes deal with the normal parts of being an athlete. Things like pressure, expectations, nervousness, trying new skills, not believing in themselves, making mistakes, like all of these things that, no matter how old your at your athlete is, and no matter what level she plays, she will experience these things. So it's not a matter of, should I just wait and see if we, you know, she hits up against some struggles or. You know, Experiences this to provide her with mental training. No, like she will. And the thing, the question is, will she be able to navigate it or will she not? And if you have not given her the skills. To do that. The answer will likely be no, she's not going to know how to navigate that. It's like a say all the time my kids are in swimming lessons because we're teaching them the skills or they're being taught the skills of learning, how to swim. I prioritize that. I'm not just going to put them into the deep end and be like, well, we'll just see if they can swim. Try it out. No, that's not what we do. So pre-loading these skills. Even if your athlete isn't struggling right now. Is so important. So when it comes to mental training, though, what I see a lot of, I mean, there's no shortage of skills that your athlete can learn when it comes to training the mental side of her game. However, there is something that is lacking from my perspective. As a coach and my years and years of experience, also as an elite competitor coach. That really is the missing link to your athlete daughter honing in the mental side of her game, which helps her play to her potential and increases her confidence. And what is it? Here it is. The most overlooked part is your involvement in this journey. And when I say you are, I'm talking to you, mom, or dad or parent or caretaker of your daughter. You actually have a major influence on your athlete. Daughter's confidence and her mental game.

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You really can literally make or break your daughter's confidence and experience in her sport. And here's the narrative that we typically see. It's actually not that we see the athletes as. The doers, right? They're doing the physical training. They're going to practice. They're competing. They're doing the mental training, those of you that are in the elite competitor program, like they're working on their mental side of the game the doer. Like who you would say. So, where does the parent fitting? Where does the mom fit in? the transportation, they're the money that's paying for things. And I think that is such a narrow way to look at it because your role is so much more than that. And honestly, it's where I see so many athletes and parents getting this whole thing wrong. They're like, oh, you know, athlete, you go do all the things you, oh, train and I'll just get you there and pay for it. Yeah. Getting them there and being able to provide the opportunity is very important. But here is something that we know for sure. Your daughter's confidence, her self-talk, and her mental training, how she believes in herself and actually shows up for her sport. And in life has more to do with you than you might think. And the analogy that I want to relate to, this is a very simple one. I want you to think of a flower bag. Hey, think of a fire bad. Think of this place where flowers grow. Okay. There's soil. What else do flowers need in order to balloon? Right? They need soil. They need water. They need sunshine. Okay. Very out of very basic level. Now we can get nuanced with that, but let's just say that soil, water, sunshine, and that is the environment that, that flower can really thrive in. And in this analogy, your daughter is the flower. That's her, you play some roles in this flowers environment. You are the soil. You cultivate the environment for her. You are also the water. You are also the sunshine. You are the ecosystem around this flower that either allows this flower to thrive and flourish. Or not. And so obviously we know that the better and the more nutrient dense the soil is, the more likely that that flower is going to bloom and do really well. If you water that flower, it's going to grow. If you allow it to see the sun it's going to grow. And so when we talk about these elements that are surrounding this flower to allow the flower to grow, we're also talking about the environment that your daughter is in, that allows her to not just play to her potential, we're talking beyond sports here. We're talking develop a deep sense of confidence in herself that not only shows up in her sport, but also in her life with her friend groups. They're academics. All of these areas that you want her to be confident in for the rest of her life. And when we say soil, All right. That is you. That is actually your own confidence and the model and the example that you set for her. And when we talk about water, water is actually the words that you say to your daughter or the words that you don't say to your daughter. The sunshine, providing her with the opportunity to be exposed to things that are going to help her grow even more. So that's like opportunities to do mental training and opportunities to increase her physical training, whatever she might need. That's how I see that sunshine element playing into this. And so you actually influenced your daughter's mental training and her confidence in a profound way. Right. We know that the more nutrient dense the soil is the better that flower is going to flourish and be to its potential. And so the more work that you do on yourself to provide a really solid model of confidence for your daughter. The environment that she shows up in every single day, your own self-talk all of those things. We actually go deep into this, into the lead competitor program that all influences how your daughter shows up. They say more is caught than taught. And that is absolutely true. You are the most influential person right now. You're the closest and most influential person. In her life to see what confidence looks like. And so what are you exuding in yourself? That allows that environment for her. The water. What are you saying? What are you saying to her before, during and after games? Do you know what to say before, during and after games, how do you handle disappointments? When your daughter is not getting what she wants, she's disappointed. How do you navigate that with her? How do you help her handle the pressure of her sport? The anxiety. How do you guide her as she faces team drama, jealous players, coach issues. Those are all the elements of her sport, where you actually have a major influence. So I see those in the water category. You are watering that flower or you're not, or you're giving it too much water. And how do you support her mental health as a student athlete? Right. All of those things. Contribute to what your daughter is receiving in the environment that she is in. And so I hope that this kind of paints a picture for you because this concept is actually a foundation of why the elite competitive program exists, the way that it does and why it's structured this way. I'm going to pull back the curtain a little bit. So. About four years ago. business partner and I, Christina, we set out to help athletes with the mental side of the game. You know, we were like, this is the thing that's lacking, right? They're not believing in themselves. I struggled with that as an athlete myself too, if only they could see what other people see in them, if only they could realize that they are good enough and they could play to their potential, if they can navigate these very normal things like anxiety before a game and nervousness and teammate trauma, we were like, we were here to. Do it. And so we provided. You know, it really competitive program for athletes. We quickly realized that there is a piece of this puzzle that is missing profoundly, and that is the influence of the parents specifically. The mom, we lean into this mom daughter relationship because we know how profound a mom's confidence impacts her daughter's confidence. And so we did a major pivot. You know, we, we added in a whole section right now. Not even a section half of our program. Exists for the moms and dads and caretakers of these young athletes who are navigating the sports journey. Because here's the deal. What your daughter is experiencing is very normal. It's not new. And she has had probably a lot of coaches in her career. A lot of physical coaches, physical training coaches, right. You probably count on two hands. How many coaches your daughter has had in her sports journey? But if I were to ask you the same thing, how many coaches have you had on this sports journey with your daughter? I'm not talking about a coach that you had or coaches that you had when you were playing this, where I'm talking about. How much guidance have you had in this area of how to support your daughter? Through those things that I just said. Navigating disappointments, teammate drama, coach drama. when she is. how about game? She's beating herself up. What do you say? You likely have not been coached in this area and it's not your fault. Like there's no playbook on how to do this. Right. And so that's why we provide that. We do things differently. That's why this is like the most overlooked part of mental training. I have not seen a program that exists like this in the way that we merge the two most important parts of your daughters. Athletic development and mental development. It's the work that she is doing to build those mental skills foundations. But it's also the work that you're doing to make sure that you are supporting her in the way that she needs to be supported in. And this is key. Because I have seen the damage that can be done when sports parents don't know what to say. They don't know how to help. So they ended up coaching and critiquing, their daughters are saying nothing at all. And then they end up hurting their daughter's potential or causing their daughters to actually walk away from the sport that they love. And so many times I hear from moms that are like, daughter is just, she's such a perfectionist and she has all these expectations. I have no idea where they're coming from. And then when we peel back the layers and we realize, all right, well, where are you placing your praise and your recognition. What are you emphasizing when it comes to speaking to your daughter about her performance? We realized that, oh my gosh, we could be unintentionally in our pursuit to try and help. Actually hurting our daughters and making them more anxiety ridden and pushing them to be perfectionist. And again, There's no playbook on this. Like we don't, we. Up until this point, you likely have never had a coach to help you with navigating your sports, your daughter's sports journey. That's just, that's why it's the most overlooked part of this. And I get passionate about it because I also see the opposite. I see what happens when moms and dads and caretakers invest in they're part of this whole journey when they start working, not only on their own confidence, but. What to say? How to navigate those things. really is where the magic happens. Because now athletes are feeling supported from their parents. They're feeling heard and seen from their parents. We see athletes who have let that pressure go. And they're like, oh my gosh, I can just go play and have fun and breathe. And I know that my parent is there. And they're going to know how to support me. It's really amazing when that those lines of communication open up. I mean, that is really what fires me up because I get to see the opposite of it. I get to see it with hundreds and hundreds of parents and moms inside the elite competitor program. And more than anything you want her to believe in herself, or you want her to trust herself. You want her to stand up for herself. Face challenges, head on, come out stronger on the other side. Ultimately that's what it's all about. And all of those things actually start with you and the model that she is getting. And so that's why our method and our approach. It's not typical. don't just give the athlete the material and say, See you later. Good luck. Like we actually require the mom or the dad and the parent to come on board. Because you're the soil. You shaped the experience for her? Right. I mean, it's the same reason when, when I was the mom of a baby and a toddler. I invested in parenting resources that actually helped me examine my approach. How was I relating to my child? It wasn't about necessarily changing my kids' behaviors. Right. They all that my, my baby and my toddler were doing were very normal parts of their milestones and their development. Like. That was all normal. It was all about me and how I was helping support them in their milestones. And that is exactly what we do. Your daughter's going to go like it's very predictable. You know, her sport experience. She's going to have high, she's going to have low. She's going to have challenges. It's not about changing that. It's about how you navigate those. Are you equipped to navigate that? With your daughter. Right. So the same exact thing applies to athletes. Your role is just as important as her having the skills. To be able to. Navigate those things as well. Right. So that's why our program, our approach, our whole approach, anything that you see from us. It's very different. So when you come on board with us, don't think that it's just gonna be okay. I'm just gonna give this to my daughter. No, we got you too. Right. It's not just her, she's only part of the equation. It's giving you the tools that you need for success. And we don't want you to overlook this most important part of her game that she actually needs to play to her potential. Right. Here's the other last thing I'll leave you with. is for those of you that are competitive, like me. Athletes. With moms, dads and parents. Who know. How to do this, who know what to say before, during and after games who know how to best approach throughout the daughters? They actually give their athletes a competitive advantage. They do. Because athletes who have parents like that. Can actually play to their potential. Athletes who have the opposite, who are parents who are like, either don't know what to say, don't say anything, or are like critiquing them. You know, you probably see the worst of it too on the sidelines. That athlete is not going to play to their potential. And so when you invest in this part of your daughter's game, And you invest in your approach and you really examine how you are navigating things. And are you doing it the best way? And you have resources and you have a community to help. bounce things off of you. Give your daughter a competitive advantage. Which is pretty cool. So now to dive deeper into exactly how to strengthen your athlete, daughter's mental game, including your role in all of this and what you can do starting now, make sure you check out our free training for sports moms. Or dads. That's at train her game.com and you will go to that website. You'll pick a date and time and it'll send you directly to that training. And that is where I teach you the first steps around how you can make sure that you are doing everything in your control to help strengthen her mental game. Alright, moms and parents that wraps up today's episode. I do have a favorite ask of you before you hop of here. really helps us and it helps you as well, if you are subscribed to the podcast. So wherever you're listening to this. Go ahead and hit, follow or subscribe that makes sure that you don't miss an episode. And also while you're there, if you give us a rating and a review, if you enjoy this podcast, Share it with a fellow sports mom. That would also help us out a lot. And help you to bring more amazing content to your ears. Okay. I'm coach Bree, and I will see you in the next episode of the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast.