We'll come back to the raising unstoppable girl athletes podcast. I'm coach brief and elite competitor coach for female athletes. And I am so glad that you're here, whether you are just getting, going on this journey with your daughter, or maybe you have lots of seasons under your belt, and you're the team mom with all the snacks, or maybe you're somewhere in between this podcast is for you to help you build confidence in your daughter, get her to play to her potential, and also so that you can enjoy the sports journey. Along the way. I am excited about today's episode, because if you're listening, you likely know the importance of the mental game and building confidence in your daughter. But maybe your daughter is not quite on board yet with this whole idea of training her mind. Like she trains her body. So we're going to talk about three really easy sure-fire ways that you can help your daughter get more on board with this idea that mental training is actually something that will help her. And it does not mean that anything is wrong with her. In fact, it's going to help her bring her to that next level. So I'm really excited to get into these three tips because they've worked for. Moms who have come into the program over and over and over again. And I'm excited to share them with you. Now, before we get into today's episode, I have two things that I want to talk about first is a shout out. So I love giving shout outs to the moms and the athletes who are in the program and are posting amazing things in our community. And this week I want to highlight Amanda. So Amanda, if you're listening, I want to just say awesome job. Amanda texted me last week and she said this. This ECP is going really well after the game on Sunday, my daughter in a great mood, by the way said she thinks the program is working. She said she felt really good about herself and her play and it truly showed. Only four weeks in and seeing big results. I am so excited to see what comes now. Pretty cool. First of all, four weeks into the program, by this point in the program, Amanda and her daughter. Are both learning a lot. So her daughter is learning how to create her daily mindset, routine, set, big intentions for herself, how to visualize like all of these really tangible tools that hopefully the foundation for her mental game. And then Amanda is also learning how to best support her daughter through this whole process; what to say what to not say her pre-competition routine with her daughter. There's so much that's kind of going on. So it's really cool to see that both of them are getting results like this in the program. So nice job, Amanda and Austin job to your daughter, Olivia as well. Now the other thing that I want to quickly say before we get into today's episode is if you find this podcast helpful at all, it really helps us out. If you do a couple of things, first of all, if you give us a rating and a review, wherever you're listening, that helps us to be able to bring you more content and also bring on amazing experts that can help you on your journey. And also helps if you just share the podcast with your friends, with your sports mom, friends, with your partner, whoever would benefit. From listening to this. We appreciate you sharing as well. So thank you. Thank you in advance for doing that for us. All right. Let's get into today's episode three easy ways to get your daughter on board with mental training so that she can level up and play with confidence. So. Let's get into this. Like I said, if you're listening to this podcast and you haven't for awhile, then you know, the mental game really makes all of the difference, no matter what your goals are for your daughter, no matter what your daughter's goals are for herself, whether that's to level up, to become more confident to start playing to potential, or just enjoy her sport or all of the above, you know, that the physical game can only get her so far. And maybe you've even heard that phrase that's thrown around that sports are, you know, 80 to 90% mental and 10 to 20% physical. And I wholeheartedly believe, I actually believe that sports are a hundred percent until it right. It starts in the mind and it doesn't matter how much physical talent than an athlete can have if they don't believe in themselves. And they don't know how to handle the pressure, the nerves, they don't know how to navigate the normal parts of being an athlete. They'll never play to their potential yet. How much of the mental side of the game is taught to your athlete. If she's not already in the elite competitive program that is. Probably not very, very much. And the reason for that is a topic for another episode, but more than likely it's because your daughter's coach does not know how to teach the mental side of the game and that's okay. It's actually not one of the prerequisites to being a good coach, teaching the mental side of the game. Now. That is that's tough. It's becoming more common in the whole sports world, but you know, your daughter's coach, we're not actually going to hold them responsible for every single part of your daughter's development and of her game. And so we're going to take that off of their plate and not expect your daughter's coach to teach the mental side of the game when likely they have no idea how to do it and have to spend their own time and their own money to become certified and learn about the side of the game. So please stop expecting. Your daughter's coach to teach this part of the game when they're not qualified to teach it and they're not doing it. So that's just setting her up for failure and disappointment and setting you up for failure and disappointment as well. So we have to though. Fill this gap because as you know, she has to be able to navigate disappointment, pressure, mistakes, like all of these parts of being an athlete. And if she doesn't know how to do that, Then at best, she might be like, okay, at her sport. And at worst, she might end up walking away from something that she really loves, but just doesn't have the skills to be able to navigate the normal parts of it. If you don't anything about my story? That's what happened to me. I was very talented, but you know, it felt like the weight of the team was on my back and I was letting everyone down with every mistake. I had no idea that first of all, I wasn't the only one that was experiencing that. And second of all, I had no idea how to handle that. And it wasn't until I learned the mental side of the game, that there was actually tangible skills that I could work on in this area that I started to playing play to potential. And. Actually enjoy my sport. Now you're probably all you're convinced of this. You're like, yes, this is exactly what my daughter needs. I want her maybe even the elite competitor program. And, you know, let's, let's go, but maybe your daughter is not quite convinced. And the things that we hear sometimes for moms is that. Athletes think that this is like counseling or therapy or something like that, or something's wrong with them? Now, first of all, I am not a therapist and I am not a counselor, so no. This is not counseling. This is not therapy. I'm certified as a mental performance coach for athletes. So we, I am teaching mental skills to athletes and also teaching skills to parents of athletes on how to best support their athlete, daughters through their journey. These are evidence-based skills for both athletes and parents, but no, I am not a counselor. I'm not a therapist. And so, you know I'm not sure if it's as simple as that, just telling your athlete, Hey, this isn't counseling, this isn't their therapy like coach Bree, actually. Isn't. A counselor. She's not certified in that. However I do work with athletes of varying levels all the way. Up to collegiate. High-level division one athletes, the mental side of the game, which is so important to their development. So again, if your daughter's not quite convinced, let's go over three of the very successful strategies that other moms have used to help their daughter along and help them get a little bit more on board with mental training. And even with joining the elite competitive program, if that is something that's on your radar. So first strategy is to connect it to her. Larger goals. Ask her, what are your goals? You know, ask her in a, in a calm moment when things are going well, like, Hey, what are your goals in your sport? I know you love your sport. Is this something that you are doing for fun or is this something that you have larger goals connected to just kind of, kind of tell me about it. She might not know. Totally what her goals are, but she likely will come up with something, right? Like I just love the sport. I want to enjoy it. Or maybe she does want to make varsity or she wants to play at the next level. And here's the thing. People are much more open to feedback and information once they know that we have their best interests at heart. And so knowing that you have her best interests at the front of mind is actually going to allow her to be more receptive to what you have to say. Around mental training. So connect mental training to her stated goals, whatever those goals may be. Now you might not, you might need to time this a little bit. So maybe it's more of a casual conversation where you're kind of collecting data about like, okay, what are your goals? Okay. I got that. Now. What are you doing to get closer to your goals? And again, this isn't an interrogation. This is just exploring with your daughter, you know, like, Hey, that's an awesome goal. I love that you have that goal for yourself. Not getting it. That's going to take a lot of work. I know you can do it. What are you doing right now to help you get closer to that goal? And then in a moment that makes sense. You can say something like, you know what. I have noticed that you have dedicated a lot of time to basketball or whatever her sport is. I can tell that you really love it and you want to go far. I'm here to hope you and support you in your goals. And because you've said that you want to play in college or you want to make varsity, or you want to enjoy this sport more. I think that the mental side of the game is something that we can hone in on to help you reach your goals. And she might be like, well, what does the mental side of the game mean? Right. The mental side of the game is what helps you get to that next level. It's what helps you give her example? You know how sometimes. You tell me that you get really nervous before a game and it impacts how you play. The mental side of the game just helps you be able to handle those nerves, which are by the way, super normal. Or, you know, connected to examples of what she has brought to you. So you know how sometimes when you say you make a mistake in the game, and then you feel like you can't. You can't play how you want to play because you're worried about making another mistake. Well, the mental side of the game is learning how to overcome that and learning what you can do in those moments to overcome those mistakes fast, and you just play how you want to play. You don't have to worry about it. So connecting it to something that she has said before, what her goals are or something that she's struggling with. Okay. So that can be also, you know, people are motivated and your athlete is in that group, she's motivated by avoidance of pain. Right. So if she's stuck in something and she's struggling, she's in pain, she wants to avoid it. She needs a solution or she's motivated towards something that she wants. Okay. So she's avoiding pain or she wants something. So the want part of it is what are her goals. She really wants that goal. She really wants to make mercy. She really wants to level up. All right. Mental training can help her do that. She wants to stop spiraling after mistakes, right? She wants to avoid that pain, mental training can come in and help be a solution for that. Now if your daughter is motivated by challenges. Hey, your daughter's one of those, you know, She just likes a challenge. You can also throw some stuff out there, like by saying, you know, Hey, you said that you want to be the best ball handler on the team, or you said that you want to be first team all league. Okay. Did you know that the best athletes really in any sport do more than just physical training? You know, and just kind of throw it out there, like, Hey, you're saying that you want this. Did you know that those athletes who are achieving those things. They're not just really good physically there they're really good mentally, too. So. Yeah. Right to wrap up that number one step is to connect it to a goal that they have, or a struggle that they're currently in our challenge that they're currently in and help explore that with them. You know, what are you doing to help yourself in that area or get closer to those goals? Are you open to something that could really help accelerate that for you? So that is key. Number one is connected to a larger goal. Number two is super effective as well. Show her examples of other athletes who are using mental training. Now, this one is really affected because of likely she has people or athletes in her, either in her immediate lifers people who that she looks up to. Who she is admiring. And again, this could be like a collegiate athlete or an Olympic athlete, a professional athlete, or it could be just somebody who's a little bit further along in their sport than she is. And so if you want a little more credibility in this area, ask her who her favorite athletes are. Just ask her like, Hey, who do you, who do you look up to in the sport? Is there, you know, somebody that, that is in there and. Here's the thing. Once you find out who that person is, if it is somebody that's a little bit famous or professional athlete, Google them find YouTube videos or podcasts of those athletes talking about how they became great. Because any athlete that's achieved anything. Of significance. Didn't do it without also honing in the mental side of their game. And so you can find that athlete upon athlete, talking about how they've been resilient in the face of challenges, how they have come back from you know, from injury, how they overcome mistakes, how they're nervous and what they do to deal with that. How they visualize. So if you need some examples Courtney Thompson, who was a volleyball player actually in the area that I'm from. She has a great little YouTube snippet. She's all about the mental game. And she is a an Olympic athlete. And she's talking about how important visualization was to her success as an athlete you can go and find these athletes that your daughter potentially can connect to and show her YouTube videos, put them on in the background, you know, of these athletes talking about how to get to that level. They needed to train the mental side of the game. Okay. In one way or the. Or another. And so just know that a hundred percent of the athletes also that we brought into our program, we have a a program that, where we bring in. Guest speakers every once in awhile for our athletes, after they go through ECP. And a hundred percent of them talk about how important the mental side of the game is and how it's gotten them to where they are. And so. Use that to your advantage, seek out those athletes, you know, and point out those mental traits that these athletes possess and that they've worked on. Not that just they're like born with them. You know, their leadership quality is their fearlessness, how they rise under the pressure. Like those are the skills that separate athletes, and those are the things that can be trained. And that also shows the shows, your daughter, that athletes who utilize mental training, aren't like. Broken, you know, I'm using the air quotes broken. Cause sometimes athletes are like, oh, you're just trying to fix me. No. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you want to actually play your best and enjoy your sport, the sport, the most, you're going to learn how to navigate these very normal parts of being an athlete, just like these athletes have. So that is number two, find athletes that she looks up to find examples of how they're utilizing the mental game to their advantage. Okay. Strategy number three. Is utilize the resources that I have created for her. So there are actually two podcast episodes that are very helpful for athletes to listen to. The first one is episode number 56, and we'll link this in the show notes for you. But episode 56, if you just search on our podcast. Is where I interview athletes who have been through the elite competitor program. And so these are athletes who are competing in all different types of sports. So I think we have everything from basketball to. Fencing to skiing. Like we have individual sports. We have team sports. And all these athletes are playing at a high level. They're either playing at the varsity level or they're going on to play. At the college level, some of them now are competing at the national level and they're professionally in their sport. And so these are athletes who have been through the program and they're talking about their experience in the program. And so just helps athletes to be able to connect. To people who are. similar to them. So have her listen to that episode, like don't, you don't even need to convince her of anything. Just like put it on in the background and walk away. Okay. Put it on in the car. And just have her listen and sink in like, oh, okay. So other athletes do this too, you know, and I'm not alone in this. And this is actually what it takes to get to another level. The other one. The other episode that is really helpful is episode number 39. And that is where I am specifically talking to athletes. So when most of our podcast episodes, I'm talking to parents, right. I'm talking to moms. And episode 39 and also the athlete tip episodes, I'm talking specifically to athletes. So in that episode specifically, I talked about what mental training is. So you don't have to like train, figure out what it is. I can explain it to her and how it helps her reach her goals, how it helps her as an athlete. So you can put that one on as well. And you have the athlete tip episodes. They're also really good for her to listen to because she can hear from me. She can hear how I talk and what I talk about. And basically, you know, if you have her kind of digesting those little pieces of mental training, then you can connect it to like, Hey, you know Bree also has this larger program that really helps build the foundation of mental skills as well. So that is helpful and it takes some of the load off of you to have to try and like figure out how to describe what mental training is. You know, I get to do it for you. So those are three really helpful tips. Actually, I have a bonus tip as well. Kara. So we've got the top three, which are first of all, connected to her larger goals or where she's struggling. Number two show her examples of other athletes who are utilizing mental training to their advantage. And number three half her listened to those podcast episodes where I'm talking. About mental training. We also have a, a page that she can go to. So elite competitor.com forward slash daughter. So that website also is like, if she just wants to look at something. What mental training is, you can send her there. Okay. The secret tip. The secret bonus tip is if we're talking about the elite competitor program specifically, and you can actually release a little bit of this burden to get her to buy-in because. Here's where the secret sauce in our program happens. This program is actually for both of you. So you have your half of the program where you learn exactly how to support your athlete daughter. And then she has her part where she is learning the foundation of mental skills and you both have lifetime access to the content. And so when athletes and moms or dads or caretakers jump into the program, what's really cool is that moms get going right away on their part of the program. And that's where you learn what to say and not to say to your daughter, to help her with her confidence. It's where you learn how to develop a pre and post competition routine. It's where you learn, how you really move the needle in her confidence. And. I don't want you to underestimate the power of changing your approach and your internal world and how that impacts your daughter. We hear time and time again from moms of athletes who say things like I am absolutely loving the mom's side, the parent side of the program, because now I'm learning what to say and not to say, and it's actually helping my daughter play better. You know, my daughter had her best game because now I am learning what I was doing before was actually adding more pressure. Now that I'm not doing that she's able to play better because she's not filled with all this pressure. So. Don't underestimate that when you go into the program and you start doing your work. You actually changed the game for your daughter? And athletes have a competitive advantage when they have moms and parents who know how to best support them. And so do not underestimate the power of you doing your work as well. So you can jump in, you can get going on yours, knowing you have lifetime access to the program, and then your daughter can just jump in when she is ready. And so that is just a, kind of a secret tip that like, You don't have to wait. You don't have to wait for her to get bought in and you can actually really change the game for her. By doing your work. And something that I also thought would be really helpful is the other day in our private group, where the moms of athletes are of athletes going through the program are hanging out in this group where they get their questions answered. We do live trainings, all of that. Mom posted in there and said, Hey, you know, I'm in the program I jumped in because I want, I want the support. I'm struggling a little bit to get my daughter on board. You guys have any tips and mom after mom kind of wrote in on like, Hey, this is what worked for us. I just want to read you some of those right now to see maybe if it'll spark something. And so I'm Courtney says mine were a little slow to come around. We talked a lot about all the physical training they do and how important mental training is. I showed a lot of info about the collegiate athletes and the mental training they do. They have come around and talk a lot about what they're learning. They don't hang on every single word, but they're learning strategies to help them level up. And so Courtney did a really great job of, Hey, I'm showing collegiate athletes, you know, we've talked about how important the mental side is. In addition to the physical they're in it, they're doing it. And they're learning strategies. Erin said for my girls, it was finding what fits. I entered the idea. They chose what they liked best. I gave them a little control. Troll. So it wasn't me. Not all my idea. My kids listen to the trainings and they love them. Tasha says, I feel that finding the right time and moment helps with the buy-in following a rough tournament weekend, where I saw my daughter beating herself up mentally. I sat down and I had her watch an intro video with me. When it was on, I asked her if she felt herself struggling with any of the issues discussed. Was this an area she felt she needed help in. Did she feel like she was performing her best and what was holding her back? Sweet thing broke down, though. If I had asked her on a practice day, I doubt what I, I doubt I would have had their same response. So really great job from Tosha. She actually found a really. You know, good opportunity to kind of fit in like, Hey, you're struggling in this moment. Let's figure out what can help. Lauren said, I suggested it during a non-stress time, but she wasn't ready. She is all in when she commits to something. So she totally has to have buy-in. I showed her a couple of videos as, just as an FYI for when she wanted to think about it. And then I left it alone. I casually mentioned it once or twice. Oh, this is the kind of thing coach Bree helps with, but didn't say anything, mark. About two weeks later when she had a rough practice and was discussing all the work she's doing and still stuck in the same place. I mentioned it again. He said, yup, I'm going to give it a try. So, those are just some examples of how other moms have done it. Now these are moms who jumped into the program without their daughters fully onboard. Okay. They jumped in. They were like, I'm going to get the help. And I'm going to trust that my daughter's going to come around when the time is right for her, knowing that I have lifetime access to the content and to the program. All right, moms. I hope this was helpful. I know that you probably don't need much convincing that the mental game is the game, but hopefully you have some ideas now to get you started on how to present this to your daughter in a way that's going to be really productive. And hopefully we'll see both of you inside the elite competitor program, if that is where your path leads. All right, moms. Thanks again for being here. I'll see you in the next episode.